


On Her Way to the Ground

by Tikxy



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Bigotry, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, M/M, Reference to therapy, Romance, Trans, Trans Link, reference to hate crime, reference to violence, rhink, rhink fic, tikxy, tikxy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 70,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7819141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tikxy/pseuds/Tikxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Link Neal is a confused young man in a small town full of even smaller minds. Can he learn how to be himself? Can his best friend, Rhett, learn how to accept Link for who he really is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Friend

Link was home alone.

This wasn’t unusual for the small boy. His parents had divorced years ago and he spent most of his time with his mother. Except she worked from nine until six, and sometimes later if they needed extra money that month. So he spent most of his time alone.

He swung his feet from the living room sofa as the weatherman regaled him with predictions of the future and tried not to pay attention to that odd creaking coming from the back of his house.

 _It was just the wind_.

Link told himself this over and over, but it made no difference. He still felt a shiver of fear on his skin as the wind raked a tree branch across a window.

_It was just the wind._

—————————————————————-

“It’s going to be _fine_ ,” his mother reassured him as she gently patted his head and pushed him into the classroom.

He turned and lifted his arms for one more hug which she gladly gave him, smiling as she pressed his small body to her chest.

“From now on, I’ll make sure a babysitter is waiting for you when you get home, okay?” The promise was a shaky one. She didn’t know how long she would be able to afford to keep someone to watch her baby every afternoon she had to work, but she didn’t like coming home to find him pale as a sheet and pressed into the folds of the couch.

Link nodded into her neck, showing his missing teeth when he grinned and waved goodbye to her and she knew any effort she made was worth it.

“Mama’s boy.”

His head whipped around, his light brown hair swirling on his forehead as he sought the voice, but any number of kids could have said it.

He popped his thumb into his mouth and slouched through the room, finding a desk in the back.

“Sucking your thumb won’t help.”

This time when he looked around to find who spoke, he found a boy staring back at him as bold as he pleased. He had eyes the size of ping pong balls poised in a head the size of a cereal bowl.

Link stared at him, wide-eyed.

The boy stared back.

“Alright,” the teacher called, her voice as soft as the dark hair haloing her head. She had a smile full of warmth and directed the full force of it toward her small charges. “Everyone find a seat.”

She grinned as some kids pushed each other in a hurry to sit next to someone they knew. “No need to push children, we won’t be in the same seats all year.”

Small shoulders sagged and students sat where they happened to be standing.

“My mom says it’s rude to stare,” the large-eyed kid whispered, his brow lowering. “You’re being _rude_.”

“Everyone keep it down,” the teacher said, “We’re first graders now. Big kids. We know when to use our indoor voices, our outdoor voices, and when to keep silent.”

Link watched as the boy pinched his lips together, looking properly chagrined. He scanned the boy from his dusty sneakers to the top of his blonde-crowned head and wondered if he was in the right class. The boy was really, really tall.

“You made me get in trouble,” the boy whispered when the teacher’s focus shifted again. “And stop _staring_ at me.” His long fingers curled around the edge of his desk and he wriggled under the unwanted attention of the boy beside him.

He wasn’t able to relax all class and ended up missing some of the rules they were supposed to follow and what order he was supposed to stand in line for lunch. He grimaced and started to scribble on his desk, noticing that the boy beside him did the same.

He grumbled to himself and wrote the only bad word he knew, one that his older brother always made him say when their parents weren’t around.

“You two!” A voice gasped above him.

He looked way up to find the teacher staring down at him and his neighbor in shock. His eyes widened when he saw the smaller boy had written something similar.

“No recess! For either of you!”

The blonde boy slumped in his seat knowing that this would go down as the worst day in his life.

————————————————————

“Link’s spending the night again?!” Cole grumbled, folding his arms over his chest and glaring down at the two smaller boys. Well, Link was smaller while Rhett was quickly catching up to his older brother in height. “He always eats all of the bacon bits when he’s here!”

“ _You’re_ not using them for anything,” Rhett snarked, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “And he needs them more than you. He’s waaay little.”

Link didn’t really care about the conversation happening around him. He had a friend. A best friend. He didn’t have to always go home to an empty house or to a baby sitter who just wanted to sit on the couch and watch afternoon television. He could run around freely with Rhett without worrying about the creeky noises at the back of the house. In fact, Rhett’s house didn’t _have_ any creeks.

He smiled up and up at his tall friend knowing that every day with him would be the best day of his life.


	2. A Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link begins to realize that he's not like the other boys.

When you’re little, really little, you don’t notice a lot of things. You _do_ notice that boys are always shirts and pants while girls get to decide if they want to wear skirts, dresses, or put fancy ribbons in their hair. You notice that no one makes faces at them for using any color in the crayon box, but the little boys get made fun of if they decide to write their name in pink one day. Little boys with bows in their hair get shoved down on the playground. Little boys who like to spend their time drawing hearts and not just squares and circles get pushed off the monkey bars.

“Jeez,” Rhett dabbed at the scrape on Link’s chin, frowning down at the boy who had his eyes squeezed shut. They were at the Neal house. They’d biked there after school so Rhett could help fix Link up before either of their parents saw him. “You know you’re asking for it, right? I’m not always going to be around to keep them from doing something worse.”

Link’s troubled blue eyes opened wide. “Something worse like what?!”

Rhett shrugged. “Like beat you up or something. You’re still pretty scrawny.” He shook his head and slapped a bandage onto his friend’s chin. Sometimes he felt like he was Link’s _only_ friend. The other kids just wouldn’t let him be.

They were in the fifth grade and had already been friends for years. Sue always seemed so grateful when Rhett continued to come over year after year, and Dianne was always warning him to be gentle with Link. That some boys were just different. He didn’t know what she meant by that and had asked his dad once. Mr. McLaughlin had just shifted in his seat, cleared his throat, then said gruffly that some guys were just soft.

He reached up to Link’s hair, which had grown darker as he aged and was now the color of trees soaking in the water along the shore of Bouie’s Creek, and plucked out the latest thing that had caused the problem. Just a little blue hair clip a girl in the class had let Link borrow so he could keep his hair out of his eyes while they made a volcano for Science. He stared at it between his long fingers for a while, then tossed it into the trashcan Link’s mom forced him to put in his bathroom after Rhett would come over and just leave on the floor a mess of cotton swabs from cleaning his ears and toilet paper from various winter nose bleeds.

“We’re going to be high school kids soon, Link. You can’t keep putting all this girly crap in your hair.”

Link’s blue eyes were guileless and confused. “It’s just a clip. My hair was in my eyes.” He brushed a hand through the long strands, pulling it off his forehead. “I guess it’s time for another cut.” He sounded sad about that. Girls were allowed to grow out their hair and put it in any style they wanted. Sometimes he would stand in front of his mirror and turn his face from side to side, wondering if his chubby cheeks wouldn’t look so chubby if he could grow out his hair and let it hang down, long beside his face.

“And…is that…lotion?” he asked, pointed to a curving bottle of the product he’d never noticed before sitting on Link’s sink. “Is that why you always smell like,” he leaned in and sniffed Link, causing the younger boy to blush. “You smell like my mom’s garden…”

Link pushed away from him and left the bathroom, going inside his bedroom and sinking onto his bed. The light blue walls were comforting. “What’s wrong with wanting to smell nice?” Link asked. He thought he knew. At least he figured he was beginning to figure it out despite his mother’s sheltering. School was a place for that. If your parents didn’t teach you how the world was supposed to work at home, kids made sure you knew it before you were finished with your education.

Rhett’s brows scrunched together and he scratched the back of his neck. “The same thing that was wrong with that hair bow and those stupid fluffy socks you wore on your second day of first grade. It’s just not something guys do.”

His cheeks went red and he pinched his lips tight. Rhett was his friend. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He was just telling him like it was for _his_ sake. But it still hurt. He hadn’t thought the socks were stupid. They were his most prized possession. The only one’s his mother had ever bought him and had made up some lie at the counter while glancing over her shoulders like she was doing something wrong. He’d wanted to show them off to his new friend.

He looked up at Rhett. “I got it. Boys don’t do pink.” He jumped up from his bed with a grin and grabbed Rhett in a headlock. “And they definitely don’t do smelling nice if I go off how _you_ smell.”

Rhett laughed and easily wrestled his way to the top. He gave Link a quick noogie on the top of his crown, then let him go.

“Next year’s going to be different, man,” Link said. “I’m going to grow like a whole foot taller, then I’m going to have to protect _you_ from the bullies.”

Rhett ruffled his hair, making Link smile. “Good luck with that, man. Really.” He flexed his skinny arms. “But there’s no way you’re ever going to get muscles like _this_.”

Link poked one scrawny peck and shook his head. “I don’t _want_ muscles like that.” 


	3. A Day at the Pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link learns to be something more than he is and wishes his friend Rhett would see it too.

“Woah! Look at Samantha! She’s already growing… you know!” Rhett gestured at his chest, turning to his friend Link with an undisguised expression of awe on his face. “Woah!”

Link barely glanced at the girl before shrugging. “It’s not like she’s going to go out with _you_ ,” he smirked. “So why do you care what she’s growing?”

Rhett huffed an annoyed breath through his nose and folded his long arms across his stomach. He’d managed to convince Link to come to the pool with him so he could see how the girls changed over the summer between their sixth grade and seventh grade year, but Link wasn’t really keeping up his end of the conversation.

“She might.”

“Ch.” Link picked at his nails, letting his eyes drift lazily around the pool. “How is it that you’ve managed to grow nearly half a foot since last week and I’m still so little?”

“We’re supposed to be looking at _girls_ Link. Stop worrying about your shortness. I’m sure you’ll catch up soon.”

“And my face is so fat…”

“It’s not,” Rhett lied, shifting his eyes to the chubby cheeks he could see out of the corner of his eye. He grinned to himself.

“I look like I got stung by bees or something.”

Rhett smiled and pinched one of the doughy masses between his fingers before his hand snapped back and he gazed self-consciously around the pool to see if anyone had noticed him touch his friend. Link frowned at him, but didn’t say anything.

“Are you ever going to get in the water or do you plan on whining all day?” Rhett asked, shuffling anxiously on his towel.

“Whining,” Link answered, laying back to soak up the sun instead. He didn’t like getting into the pool. A lot of the other guys tried to pull him under when Rhett wasn’t paying attention.

“Fine,” Rhett said, smacking him on his stomach before standing up, taking a running jump, then doing a cannon ball right into the pool. Some of the water managed to reach Link, causing him to grin when he felt the droplets.

“Hey…”

The quiet voice made Link crack one eye open and he sat up when he realized Amber was standing next to him. She was a soft-spoken girl who’d been in classes with him for as far back as he could remember.

She put a bright pink towel down next to him, then settled on it, her pale blue one-piece highlighting her tan.

“Hey,” he responded, sitting up and smiling at her. He’d always liked Amber. She never joined in when the other kids picked on him, and didn’t think it was odd when he wanted to borrow a bow when he wanted to keep his hair back when they sometimes read together in the library. She said she thought it was cute.

He tapped her toes where she’d put on a coat of nail polish. “What color is that?” he asked.

“Bubblgum pink,” she said, flashing her teeth in a smile.

“Looks good on you.”

She blushed a light red. “Thanks.” She glanced around. “You’re here with Rhett?”

Link smiled in suspicion. He’d figured she had a crush on Rhett since fifth grade. Seemed like she was finally about to get around to admitting to it since other kids their age were starting to get boyfriends and girlfriends.

“Yeah. He’s probably playing shark or something.”

She looked toward the pool just in time to see Rhett burst to the surface wearing a triumphant grin as another ‘victim’ was forced to leave.

 _He’s so fast!_ Link thought in admiration.

“You going in?” he asked.

Amber shook her head, her blonde hair glinting in the summer sun. “No. I curled my hair last night. I don’t want to mess it up.”

Link laughed, reached out and took one blonde curl around his finger. He wondered what his hair would feel like so long and curled. If it was fun to curl his hair… He thought about the one time he’d taken one of his mother’s Velcro rollers and put it in his hair and ended up in tears trying to get the thing out. He’d been too scared to try again or ask for assistance.

He marveled as Amber’s hair sprang back to her shoulder and immediately twirled another piece just to watch it do the same.

Amber giggled, her entire face flushed pink. “You’re going to ruin it!” she squealed.

He pulled his hand back and put it in his own lap. “Sorry. It’s just…so pretty.”

She ran a hand over her hair. “Really?”

“Woah, Link!”

The brunette turned to find Rhett out of the water and standing behind him, a wide grin on his face.

“I didn’t know you had it in ya.”

Link glanced toward Amber. “What?”

Rhett shook his head and took his place on his own towel. “Nothing.”

He smirked as Link and Amber resumed their conversation about a book they’d apparently read in the library sometime during the spring. He hadn’t known they were hanging out so much, or really that Link had another friend besides him. Maybe even, his brows rose, a girlfriend.

They seemed pretty close already and he couldn’t help feeling a little out of the loop with them talking and laughing about stuff just between the two of them.

“Trust me,” he heard Amber telling Link. “It happened to my brother too. As soon as you lose all your baby fat, everyone else will be able to tell how cute you are too.”

Rhett tilted his eyes back toward them and saw the girl ruffle his friend’s hair and he frowned, feeling oddly possessive of the move.

He threw an arm around Link’s neck, pulling him back against him with a laugh. “Believe me, everyone already knows how cute he is. My mom already likes him more than me.”

“That’s ‘cause I actually _taste_ her food before I swallow it.”

Amber giggled as they wrestled for a few minutes before Rhett laughed and headed back out to the pool.

“He’s so silly,” Amber said with a wide smile.

Link leaned forward and bumped her shoulder with his arm. “Want me to tell him you like him?”

She went completely red and her dark blue eyes went wide. “No!”

“Come on. Rhett is girl crazy. If someone as cute as you likes him-“

She put her hands over her red cheeks and shook her head. “There’s no way he would go out with me.”

Link rolled his eyes. “You’re the cutest girl in the sixth…about to be seventh grade.” He touched her hair again. “And I know you dressed up like this for him.”

She bit her gloss-covered lip. “He didn’t even notice.”

Link glanced toward his friend with a sad sigh. “He doesn’t notice a lot of things,” he said quietly, then shook his head. “But he’ll notice _you_ once you tell him you like him.”

She stuck out her bottom lip. “I don’t know. He might be too distracted by Samantha’s breasts to even hear you.”

Link looked over then laughed when he saw where Rhett’s attention was. He wasn’t even trying to pretend he was looking anywhere else.

“Wow,” he murmured.

Amber huffed a laugh. “Maybe I’ll be brave enough when school starts back.” She leaned toward Link and laid her head on his shoulder. He inhaled the vanilla and sunscreen scent of her, enjoying and envying the softness she exuded.

Link wished he could find some braveness of his own.


	4. Gifts and Guesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link gets a surprise from his friend Amber and begins to wonder if Rhett if questions the gender role he is so firmly and comfortably settled in.

Link felt as if he were living two lives. The one he lived when he was with Rhett or at school, and the other he kept sequestered in the confines of his bedroom.

At fifteen years old, he was nearly six feet tall and extremely slim. Not to the point of unhealthiness. It suited his frame. He had wide shoulders, deeply tanned by the sun, and a lean, thin waist.

He stood in front of a floor-length mirror attached to his closet and turned from side to side. “Are you sure this looks good?”

Amber laughed and got up from where she’d been lounging on his bed. She’d dated Rhett for a few months a year or so back, they’d broken up, but her friendship with Link had survived since he couldn’t find any fault with her. Rhett was a sweet guy, just not that great at communicating…well…anything. All he talked about was basketball, training for basketball, and homework. Then again, other teenagers didn’t really have more expansive subjects to offer.

Amber grabbed Link’s shoulders and forced him to stand still before the mirror and look himself up and down. She touched the collar of the turtlenecked sheath dress and smiled at his reflection. “It looks waay better on you than it did on me,” she pouted. “The amount of people I would kill for your height.” She’d stopped growing at five four and hadn’t stopped complaining about it since.  “And look at all that leg.”

Link did look and lamented that he couldn’t shave them. If it were winter, he could get away with shaving his legs a few days, then covering the smooth result with jeans every day until the hair grew back in for the summer when he was expected to wear shorts every other day like the rest of the guys.

“They’re so hairy,” he frowned.

His friend heard the sadness in his voice, but had no idea how to fix it, so instead she decided to distract him from it. She grabbed her purse up from the floor next to his bed and presented it to him. “I’ve got a present for you.”

His brows shot up. “A purse?!”

She rolled her eyes. “No, silly. Check what’s inside.”

He bit his lip as he quickly carried it to his bed, remembering to press his legs together at the last moment so as not to show Amber anything unsightly. He unzipped her large bag, then gasped when he saw what was inside.

“Makeup?!” he exclaimed, grabbing one of the silver cases from inside. He popped it open and found a collection of lipsticks. He quickly opened the other and found foundations, powders and blushes. The last contained eyeliners and shadows in a number of different hues.

“Oh my god!” He rushed over to his dresser and laid it all out. The silver makeup organizers Amber had put them in made his dresser look like something out of a magazine, paired with a makeup mirror she’d gotten him a few months ago. He clasped his hands together. “The stuff my mom gets me looks nothing like this!”

“It’s just some of my older sister’s stuff that she doesn’t use anymore. You guys have similar coloring.”

“It’s still amazing, Amber. Thanks for bringing it over.”

Amber giggled, glad to take his mind off his problems if only for a moment. “I figured the pretty treasure chests were _juuust_ man enough that Rhett wouldn’t be curious about what’s in them.”

Link scoffed. “Rhett wouldn’t even notice if they had hearts drawn all over them.”

He collapsed onto the bed, his shoulder-length brown hair fanning out around him. Amber had finally managed to convince him that he could grow it out a bit without gaining the suspicion of the other boys. He loved the way it felt when it brushed his cheek on a windy day or when he could catch the gentle scent of the sweet shampoo Amber had bought for him last Christmas.

He reached over and grabbed her hand. “You’re the best.”

She flipped her hair the way she did when she was out on the basketball court or football field cheering on her team. “I know, right?”

Link mimicked the action, garnering a laugh. “Like, totally.”

—————————————————————————

Rhett dribbled the basketball hard on the asphalt as he eyed the net and Link simultaneously. Link sometimes came over to hang out and usually just ended up studying while watching Rhett train. At the moment, he sat cross-legged in a lawn chair Rhett had dragged out for him, one finger nail being chewed mercilessly between his teeth, his French book balanced on his slim knees. His long hair swirled around him in the light, autumn breeze.

Rhett took two running steps and successfully slapped in a layup. He turned to Link to see if he’d noticed and sighed when he saw Link still had his eyes buried in the book. He most likely wasn’t paying attention to _that_ either. Link was spacing out a lot these days.

He chased down his basketball, then hooked it under his arm as he made his way to his friend, settling on the ground beside him. He tapped Link on the leg. “Dude.”

Blue eyes drifted lazily to green ones.

“Did you see that sweet shot I made?”

Link looked confused for a moment, then glanced down at the ball in Rhett’s hand. “Oh, no. Sorry,” he said, fostering a smile. “I was studying.

“Naw you weren’t.”

“I was thinking,” Link amended, going to town on another nail.

Rhett frowned when he noticed there seemed to be a faint remnant of nail polish.

**“Dude’s a faggot.”**

**“Remember when he used to cry all the time when we were little.”**

**“Bet I could make him cry again.”**

**“Gay.”**

Rhett shook the locker room words out of his mind. The guys often asked him why he kept hanging out with him, but Link was a good friend. A loyal friend. He never made Rhett feel bad for being scared of insects. So what if Link was a little…different?

The grass prickled the back of Rhett’s leg and he figured he’d have to get the mower out again soon. “What were you thinking about?” he finally asked when it seemed Link wouldn’t offer any information.

“Why is green your favorite color?” He asked instead of answering the question.

“Uhh…cause it looks nice.”

“Why not pink? Or purple?”

Rhett scoffed at the girly suggestions.

“They’re just colors,” Link said with a challenging stare. “What if I told you my favorite color was pink?”

“Is it?” Rhett asked, his brow scrunching.

“No, but what if it were? And why don’t you wear perfume?”

“Uhh…” Rhett wondered where Link was going with this. He surreptitiously sniffed his pit.

“I mean, it’s just a scent. And if I want to-” Link trailed off and shook his head, pressing a hand over his eyes before closing his book and rising to his feet. “Is there anything that you really want to do, but you can’t because - because everyone says that you can’t?” he asked, his expression somewhere near desperate.

“I’ve wanted to run through town nekid a few times,” Rhett admitted. “But your grandpa told me I could get arrested for stuff like that.”

Link blinked down at his friend, losing track of his own thoughts. “You want everyone to see your freckled behind?”

“No! I just want to run around nekid. It sounds awesome.” His brows suddenly lurched up to his forehead. “Skinny dipping.”

Link was completely distracted from the funk he’d been in. “What?!”

“Let’s go skinny dipping!” He threw down his basketball and it bounced off into a bush, then he smacked Link’s book out of his hand to the brunette’s chagrin and forced him toward his bike. “Let’s do it, man! This is going to be awesome. There shouldn’t be anybody at the lake at this time.” Link could feel Rhett’s excitement in the amount of sweat leaking from his large palms and soaking into his t-shirt.

“I never said anything about wanting to get nekid!”

Rhett bounded onto his bike, then looked over his shoulder at Link.

“Race you to the lake!”

Link scowled, then hurriedly hopped on his bike as his friend sped off ahead of him, his laughter trailing in the wind.


	5. Boys to Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett misses his best friend, Link, when he's sent away during the summer and doesn't recognize him when he returns.

Who knew that a haircut could hurt so much?

Link stared at himself in the mirror as his long brown hair fell to the floor around him. His older step-brother ran the clippers over his head cutting as close to the scalp as he could get while his father stood in the corner or the living room, his arms folded across his chest. He’d been stupid and careless because he was so used to his mother’s grudging acceptance. Something as small and unassuming as a charm bracelet had earned him a disbelieving look. Questions and accusations had come hard and fast.

“It’s only for a few weeks,” his dad said gruffly. “It’ll toughen you right up, boy.”

Military Adventure Camp. He knew the type of boys that got sent there. Kids who never obeyed their parents and got caught drinking and doing drugs in their bedrooms. He didn’t belong there.

“I can’t believe your mama let you run around with your hair down your back like some girl.”

Link’s jaw clenched. His dad said ‘girl’ like it was worse than a curse word.

“And you thinking it’s okay to go around wearing perfume and lipstick like some painted up whore.”

Other things they’d found in his bag. His step-brothers had chuckled gleefully when they made the discovery. His step mother had looked on with a pitying frown but said nothing.

His brother finally stepped back with a satisfied smirk, roughly dusting stray strands from Link’s head.

He didn’t recognize himself. This wasn’t who he was.

“I’m only doing this cause I care about ya. Understand?”

He met his father’s eyes in the mirror and felt his stomach twist at the look on his face. He looked like he’d lost his son even though Link was sitting right in front of him. So Link didn’t try to plea again, his tears had only brought disgust from his brothers and a heartbroken look from his father.

He nodded slightly and stood, his willowy frame looked wrong without the brown curls framing the angular face. His cargo pants sagged around his waist. “When will I be leaving?” he asked quietly.

“Tomorrow.”

He wrapped his arms around himself, his eyes on the ground.

Charles shook his head. “This never would have happened if I’d raised ya,” he whispered. “She turned you into a gaddam*ed pansy.”

He curled further in on himself.

“I’m sorry, son. I’ll try to be there for you more in the future. After…after they fix ya.”

Link wanted to disappear.

———————————————————————————————————————

Rhett sat anxiously in the Neal’s kitchen. Link usually spent a few weeks of the summer with his dad, then on the first day back with his mom, he and Link would go bike out to the woods together with a few other friends to see what they could get into. Last time they’d found an old house tucked away behind vines and thorny bushes that they’d never quite finished exploring.

“You sure Mr. Neal said he would be back today?” Rhett demanded again for the third time in half an hour.

Sue planted her hand on her hip and smiled indulgently. “Yeah. When he called he said they were heading out, so he’ll be dropping him off in a few minutes.”

Rhett’s hands stroked the wooden dining table in their well-lit kitchen, noon-day sun streaming through yellow, ruffled curtains. They didn’t really make it a big habit to call each other when they were apart so they’d have a lot more to talk about when they were together so Rhett had trouble containing his excitement.

He’d had fun at basketball camp, but it just wasn’t the same without Link.

He stood up and went to the window again to look for his friend’s dad’s car, and smiled happily when he saw dirt bundling up the road behind a black Oldsmobile. He settled back at the table so he could surprise his friend when he walked through the door and turned the corner into the kitchen.

He heard the car pull to a stop, then oddly soft voices that slowly rose in anger, thumping footsteps across the front porch, and then a door slamming open and shut.

Rhett jerked to his feet and moved around the dining table.

“No, mom! I don’t want to talk about it.”

He’d never heard Link raise his voice to his mother before.

His brows pressed together in confusion as he quietly made his way to the entryway where Link seemed to loom over his slightly shorter mother. His blue eyes seemed to blaze in his anger and a light scruff of hair on his chin highlighted the hollows of his cheeks.

“Link?” he said hesitantly. The guy standing before him in a dark, denim jacket and low slung jeans looked nothing like the sweet, soft-spoken Link who’d said goodbye to him only two months ago.

He stepped closer. Link even smelled different. The light floral scent that seemed to linger wherever he went was gone. He now smelled kind of like pine sap and oil, like he’d just come from days spent in the woods.

“Hey, Rhett,” Link finally said, turning his attention from his mother who was strangling a dish cloth in her hands in an effort not to reach out and grab him in a hug he so desperately looked like he needed.

 _What happened?_ Rhett wanted to ask. Instead he pulled a smile back onto his face. “Umm, hey. I was thinking since you’re back, we could head to the clearing and-”

Link shook his head, his blue eyes looked nearly gray with exhaustion. “I don’t really feel up to anything today, Rhett. Maybe some other time.”

Sue laid a hand on his elbow but he shook her off, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“I’m probably just going to try to get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

Rhett wasn’t used to this cold distance in his friend. “Can I…can I hang in your room until you fall asleep? Like when we were kids?”

Link’s eyes wavered before he looked away, gnawing on his lip. “Up to you, man.”

Sue smiled at Rhett gratefully when he followed Link to his room, carrying his bag for him and tossing it into a corner when he was there.

Rhett let out a breath of relief once the door was closed behind them. This place at least, still smelled like the Link who’d left for the summer. Without reservation, he took a flying leap and landed on Link’s bed, wrapping his arm around Link’s pillow and burrowing his nose in the soft scent. Realizing what he’d done, he jerked his head up and looked around at his friend, but Link wasn’t even paying attention to him. Instead he was standing at his dresser and assessing himself in the mirror, his eyes narrowed and critical.

He quickly peeled off his jacket and the t-shirt underneath, then the jeans and disappeared into the bathroom. Rhett heard the shower come on and fiddled with the model buildings Link kept on his nightstand. When Link finally emerged from the bathroom wrapped in his terry-cloth bathrobe, his eyes were red and a cloud of scented steam billowed out behind him. Without changing into boxers or anything, he settled onto the bed beside Rhett and rolled onto his stomach, tucking a pillow beneath his cheek and closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.

Rhett’s eyes roamed over Link’s head and he wondered what made him decide to cut his hair so short. He’d just started getting used to the long, brown curls Link sported toward the end of Freshmen year.

He reached a long arm over, easy to do on Link’s twin sized bed, and brushed the back of a knuckle over the shorn length near Link’s nape.

“I’m glad you don’t smell like other guys,” he whispered.

He felt Link relax slightly and pulled his hand back. “Are you okay?”

A long silence followed the question and he wondered if Link had fallen asleep until the soft voice whispered back to him, “No.”


	6. Dicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett is grilled by his supposed friends when Link lingers at basketball practice.

They never really talked about what happened that summer. The next day they went to the creek and Link laughed along at Rhett’s story, but there seemed to be something missing. His brightness seemed dimmer…dulled…tarnished.

Whenever Rhett got brave enough to ask him - in both roundabout ways, and directly - what Link had done for the summer, the younger boy would just smile, turn away, and talk about the weather. Anything but why his hair was suddenly so short. Why he wore oversized t-shirts rather than the fitted ones he’d previously sported. Why he seemed to spend more time inside of his own head with thoughts that kept poor company.

When their Sophomore year started, Link avoided Amber as if she had the plague and fell into his soccer training like a man in a desert would fall into an oasis. The exercises distracted him and kept contained the anger that had taken root in him all those weeks ago and only seemed to grow.

“I don’t know what the chicks see in him,” Gary said, frowning at a group of cheerleaders standing in a circle and throwing constant looks over at Link who sat uncaring and unaware on the bleachers at the far end of the gym. “I mean, he doesn’t look like a girl anymore. I guess _that’s_ something.”

“Why you always gotta dog on Link?” Rhett asked, dribbling his basketball in a staccato rhythm against the floor. “The dude never did anything to you. He never did anything to anybody.”

Gary’s brow cocked. “Not even to you?”

The suggestive tone in his voice made Rhett’s hackles raise. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Heard you two been having little slumber parties for years.” He pumped a fist in the air. “He as good as Tiffany?”

Rhett grabbed him by the collar, red hazing his vision as Gary just laughed and grabbed his forearms, pushing him off.

“Bet when that little fairy goes down on you now, you miss all that long hair you can just sink your fingers into.”

Rhett lunged for the chuckling dickhead, but was pulled up short when a sharp whistle rent the air.

“McLaughlin! We don’t need temper like that out on the court!”

“But coach!”

“Benched.”

“For practice?”

“ _And_ the game. Now sit down!”

Rhett glared at Gary who smirked and spread his hands wide. “I know you been joansin for my spot, McLaughlin.” He tsked and pursed his lips. “Coach don’t like guys who can’t keep their cool. Looks like you’re out of the running.” Gary laughed. “I bet your girlfriend’ll have fun drying your tears on game night.”

He wanted to punch him in his red, gloating face, but there was nothing he could do with coach watching. Heck, there was barely anything he could do if he weren’t. Rhett may have been tall, but he wasn’t that strong, and he really hated fighting. Getting hurt wasn’t really in his wheelhouse. He’d like to think he could take the pain of a blow or two, but he knew deep down he was kidding himself. A giant did not a fighter make.

He huffed out a deep breath and jogged over to where Link sat, staring off into the space.

“Hey, buddy.”

Link stirred and tilted his head back so he could look at his friend. His brows were pressed into a long, angry line above his stormy green eyes and his teeth were clenched hard enough to resemble lockjaw.

“Woah, somebody pissed you good.”

Language Link must have picked up from wherever he’d been over the summer.

Rhett scrubbed a hand through his blond hair and sank down next to Link, letting his butt drop down in the space between two bleachers. He propped his elbow next to Link’s thigh, lay his head back, and closed his eyes. Link’s hand fluttered in the air like he was going to pet Rhett’s head, then thought better of it.

“You ever have one of those days where you hate everyone and everything?”

Link’s face turned pensive. Seemed like nearly every day for him.

Rhett tapped him on the knee when it took him too long to answer. “Dude, pay attention to me. I’m looking for a little sympathy here.”

“I thought you were too macho for sympathy,” Link quipped, his lip twitching.

“I am,” Rhett agreed. “But you’re not too macho to give it, are you?” 

When nothing but silence greeted his question, he peeped his eye open to find a haunted expression on Link’s face that was quickly masked the moment he found he was being watched.

The niggling of worry tickled at Rhett again, that little scared feeling that made his heart tremble and wonder if he should talk to his mom, or his dad, or _any_ adult who would be better at handling this than him. Link was hurt, somewhere, way down deep, and he couldn’t just bust out some first aid kit and slap a band-aide on it like he’d done when they were little. 

No. 

This was something that needed leeching and prodding, maybe some stitching and even a cast.

“Hey, Link, I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“You know that pact we made a few years ago?”

“To do something awesome together?” 

Link kept his focus on anything other than Rhett. He’d known it was coming at some point. Who the hell wanted to stay friends with _him?_ He glanced over to where Amber stood in the middle of a stag pose, and hastily looked away when their eyes met briefly. He focused back on the logo decorating the gym wall.

“Yeah.”

“What about it?” Link asked, steeling himself for the blow.

“I was thinking, the best way to keep in touch when we go off to college is to go to college together.”

His eyes snapped to Rhett, surprise evident on his features. The blonde couldn’t help but wonder what Link had expected him to say instead.

“We could probably even get a room together if we’re lucky. I heard Cole say that you can choose if you get your application in early enough.”

“You’d want to room with me?”

“Of course,” Rhett said with an easy smile.

“Even-even though I’m messed up?”

“Messed up?”

Link pressed his hands between his knees, his canines digging into his lower lip. “Rhett…I-”

“McLaughlin!”

Both boys jerked as the coach shouted to get the taller boy’s attention.

“Just because you’re benched doesn’t mean you can lounge around and ignore the plays. Stay sharp!”

Rhett sighed, shifting over so he could prop one shoulder against Link’s leg. “I don’t think I’m going to play ball in college,” he confessed. “If everyone is dicks now about some high school game, imagine how they’re going to be there?” He shook his head, taking a moment to imagine it. “A dick and a set.”

Link laughed, Rhett’s weight and warmth battling some of the demons inside him.


	7. Rocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett's world is shifted when Link is suspended from school.

If a person holds something within them for long enough, it begins to gestate like a parasitic fetus, until one day it you’re full with it and it has to come out. In some instances, it is a gentle release, in others - it’s an explosion.

That’s the only way Rhett could describe it when he was being interviewed by the guidance counselor later. Link had exploded like a ball released from a cannon. One moment they’d been walking along the hallway, the next, Link had Jamison up against a locker, his elbow pressed hard against his throat to hold him in place.

**“Dude! I didn’t _mean_ anything by it!”**

**Rhett reached in and tried to grab Link off the guy, but he got elbowed hard in the gut for his efforts. He could only stand gaping in surprise, trying to get his breath back.**

**“I don’t take sh*t from little fags like you,” Link hissed between gritted teeth.**

**These words shocked Rhett more than the violence.**

**“Next time you wanna grab my a*s, you better think twice.”**

**Jamison’s face flushed red and he looked like he was about to burst into tears. Rhett thought about grabbing for Link again, but Amber got there first. She pressed through the crowd until she was standing in front of Link, her clogs putting her eye level to his chin. Hot blue eyes met disbelieving bluer ones and Link let go of Jamison like he no longer had any strength in his limbs.**

**“Amber…”**

“I swear, he never talked like that before. He’s never expressed hate against anyone or anything,” Rhett stressed. “Is he really gonna be suspended?”

“Only for a few days,” Ms. Jolly confirmed. “I already spoke with his mother. I just wanted to make sure everyone around had the same take on how events transpired.” 

She finished checking boxes and writing on a form before slipping it into a folder and filing it away. “I took statements from others before I got to you because I wanted to make sure his friend didn’t lie for him.” Ms. Jolly smiled as she continued. “You actually had a clearer version of events than just about everybody else. One kid claimed Charles lifted Jamison a foot off the ground with one hand.” She shook her head, round cheeks shaking.

Rhett left her office, his mind in a whirl. His heart still raced with the thought that Link had nearly been in a fight. Link’s usual propensity to avoid conflit had been completely gone. What could make a person change so much in just a few months?

Instead of heading back to class like he was supposed to, Rhett glanced up and down the empty halls, then pivoted quickly for the school exit. His long legs brought him to his car and he pealed out of the parking lot throwing sand and rocks up against a few neighboring pick-up trucks. He didn’t really feel too bad about it since most had done the same damage to their own vehicles by speeding through the back roads of Harnett County.

It didn’t take him long to reach Link’s house where he skidded to a stop in the driveway and was halfway to the front door before he noticed a bright-red car pulled up next to Link’s truck. His mom must still be at work since Link had driven himself home. So who….

Rhett walked around the low-slung brick house, dodging the withering garden Sue tried to revive every other vacation holiday she managed to take, and headed to the back where Link’s bedroom window was located. He was about to tap on the thick pane of glass when he heard voices murmuring and what sounded like heaving tears.

He pressed close to the glass until he could see past his reflection and through the cracks of Link’s blinds and the part in his curtain. Rhett swallowed around a lump in his throat when he finally realized that the owner of the red car must have been Amber. She lay on the bed with Link. Her blonde hair nearly covered his face entirely as she leaned over him, stroking his head and his back in a soothing rhythm as she murmured words to him. Link was curled into her lap and against her stomach, his arms wrapped around her waist, his shoulders moving in the unmistakable tremor of sobbing.

Rhett felt his emotions pulling him in about ten different directions. He wanted to run. Away? To Link? He wasn’t sure which. He wanted to take Link from Amber’s arms and hold him in his own. He’d always been the one before; the one Link ran to when he was hurt and needed someone to put a bandage on his wound. He wanted Amber to hold Link tighter because what she was doing didn’t seem to be enough. He wanted to storm in there and - and what?

He pushed away from the glass, smoothing his sweat-dampened hands over his shirt and forced himself to turn back toward his car.

Guys didn’t get jealous if their best friend took comfort from someone else. Guys didn’t get lumps in their throats from seeing their friend crying. Guys didn’t sit in their car blinking tears from their own eyes because they didn’t know what to do. So Rhett didn’t do those things.

He blew out shaky breaths until they were even. He turned the key in the ignition. He shifted the car into reverse and backed quickly out of Link’s driveway. He pushed the car into a three-point turn, shifted into drive, and turned his cassette up so high it didn’t leave him room to think.

——————————————————————————————————

Link waved to Rhett on his first day back to school, but he didn’t sit with him as Rhett had expected. Instead, Link took his tray over to a small table at the edge of the cafeteria and waited there alone until Amber bounced in, making her way over to him.

“Wow, looks like your girlfriend got a girlfriend,” Gary quipped, a grin at his own genius dancing across his face.

Rhett shifted away from his rancid breath, unable to take his eyes off Link. It looked like some of the spark was back in his eyes, but he was still sporting the baggy clothes.

The rest of the basketball team around Rhett chuckled in support of their team captain, but Rhett was getting tired of every single one of them. He was tired of discussing conquests in the boys’ locker room, leering over pilfered playboy magazines, and bagging on any guy who didn’t suit their standard of meat-head.

Link sat over at that little table with Amber in their own square of sunlight bent over a book Amber had brought full of highlighted pages and sticky notes poking from various pages. Their heads tilted so close sometimes they bumped. They would just giggle, glance at each other, then go back to the book.

When Link finally _did_ glance up and in his direction again, Rhett snapped his attention to the flat hamburger waiting on his tray.

Guys didn’t stare at their best friends hoping they would come over and talk to them.

So Rhett didn’t.

He pulled his burger to his mouth, tuning out the voices of his teammates.

The quarter hour passed like a day and the meat tasted like sawdust.


	8. The Boy I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett invites Link for a sleepover to find that bond they once had.

Rhett felt silly. He’d invited Link for a sleep over in a spur-of-the-moment kind of way. He hadn’t seen the guy all winter break and they’d only traded one or two phone calls. He’d figured Link was just giving him space for his most recent relationship and they’d connect again after that ended. It hadn’t happened. Link still hung out with him occasionally, but he didn’t seem like he was fully in the moment and was there more out of habit than friendship.

Rhett felt self-conscious for wanting his old Link back - the guy who’d reluctantly followed him into a cow field, giggling nervously as they made a blood oath that they were doing a very poor job of following through with. And life just didn’t feel the same without him.

So a few weeks into the second half of their Sophomore year, Rhett had rounded a corner and nearly come face to face with Link. In a moment of wild excitement at seeing his face (framed by a shaggy length of brown hair he’d apparently decided to grow back) Rhett had forgotten they were nearly Juniors and invited Link to a sleepover.

 _A sleepover!_ What had he been thinking?

He’d been about to take it back. Say he was just making some stupid joke and instead ask him to go camping - the manlier, more adult version of a sleepover, when Link broke through his panicked thoughts and answered him. Link hadn’t said anything about it being childish. He’d just smiled, nodded, and agreed to come over for the weekend.

So now Rhett stood watching Link fix up his bed in the guest room. It had been about two years since the last time he spent the night at the McLaughlin’s, and putting Link on a pallet somewhere on the floor in his room didn’t seem fitting with the adults they were growing into.  

Link’s hair flopped down in his eye as he tucked in a corner of the bedspread and he pushed it behind his ear with a gentle gesture before continuing to the other side.

“I haven’t really seen you down at the creek lately. Or the quick-stop,” Rhett said, the silence in the room starting to get to him. Usually Link managed to fill the McLaughlin house with endless chatter and his wild nervous energy, but today he seemed contained.

Slim fingers stilled in their actions for a second before he pulled a clean cover over the pillow he rested at the head of the bed. “Well, it was winter, dude. Cold.”

It felt good hearing Link call him ‘dude’ again.

“But, still…what’d you do all winter, man? You and your mom didn’t even come over to Christmas dinner like usual.”

Link settled down on the chair that had contained his bedding and Rhett sat down in the desk chair near him. They were sitting at odd angles, Rhett facing the eastern window and Link with his back to it. Rhett propped and crossed his feet on a low stool, tilting back so he could see Link’s face.  

“Oh, we had dinner at Amber’s.”

Rhett’s brows shot up, but he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised. They seemed to spend ever waking moment together. He’d even seen her glued to Link’s side at the end of his basketball games. Link used to go riding with him, helping him to blow off any excess energy hanging out in a field or going to a random party once they got old enough for those, now he just gave a quick wave before disappearing with Amber clinging tight to his arm.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He pulled an edge of his black, woven sweater between his fingers and didn’t seem inclined to elaborate.

Rhett cleared his throat. “You and her serious?”

Link looked away at this. Amber and Link had decided it was fine for people to think they were together, even perpetrated it so they’d get off his back. He really couldn’t take the taunting after the summer he’d had and she said she wasn’t really interested in the high school guys anyway and would wait until college to date again. Link had replied he’d quickly and loudly break up with her in a public place if she changed her mind and she’d laughed and said she’d do the same for him.

“Y-yeah,” Link said without looking up. He didn’t really make it a habit to lie to Rhett, but he didn’t know what his reaction would be if he knew the truth. Probably wouldn’t want him spending the night anymore.

“Oh…wow… Ummm,” Rhett ran a hand over his hair. He wasn’t used to having this much difficulty talking to Link. “I guess you _definitely_ won’t be missing any of my games now since you get to see Amber each time, hunh?”

“When have I _ever_ missed a game?”

Rhett grinned brightly. “You haven’t. Just glad that you actually have a reason to come. You’re kind of like my good luck charm, man.”

Link smiled, finally glancing over at his friend. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Rhett, tired of having to lean back in the chair to see Link’s face, jumped onto the bed, ruining all of Link’s hard work to make the blanket so smooth and wrinkle-free. Link’s eyes narrowed into frustrated slits beneath lowered brows and Rhett quirked a brow at him. He enjoyed peeving Link off.

“I always do twice as good when I know you’re out there trying to find a reason to take me down a notch.” He laughed. “I remember when I missed that free throw in my first game. You didn’t lay off me for a _week._ ”

“Yeah well, your arms are so long, it seems like you should be able to just reach out and _shhlock_ lay it in. The fact that it went so wide and nearly hit the score board-”

“Stop! You don’t need to remind me,” he chuckled.

“I mean the bricks you threw the rest of the night-”

“Liink!”

“Even the way you dribbled-”

“Geez, I got it.” Rhett insisted. “That’s why I look like a complete spaz on the days you’re missing. I’ve got nobody to impress.” When Link just chuckled at him with shining blue eyes, Rhett ducked his head in embarrassment, realizing how what he’d said sounded.

He fiddled with the tassels on the old-fashioned blanket. “I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut around you,” he murmured.

“What?” Link asked, tilting his ear so he could hear better.

“Nothing!” Rhett said quickly. His eyes darted around the room, looking for a new topic, wishing Link would start the conversation for once instead of sitting there looking like he was in a completely different world.

He suddenly thought of something and pushed himself off the bed. He held up a finger to his friend. “Give me a second!” He said, before darting out of the room.

Link listened to his footsteps as he jogged down the hall a bit to his room, then his footsteps as he jogged back. He couldn’t have been more surprised if Rhett had come back wearing a dress.

He gestured toward the instrument slung across Rhett’s chest, resting high on his abdomen. “…You play guitar now?”

Rhett beamed proudly. “Yeah. Well, almost,” he amended. “I’m learning.”

He strolled across the room and settled down in front of Link, forcing Link to sit up a little straighter so their knees wouldn’t bump.

“Why?”

His smile got even wider if that were possible, his green eyes dancing with excitement. “I started a band over Christmas break. Slightly before actually. I got bored not having you to hang out with on the afternoons after Cheryl dumped me.”

“You got dumped?”

“Focus on the band thing.”

Link bit the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing. “Okay.”

“Anyway, I was hanging out at the church after service one day - because there is seriously _nothing_ else to do in this town and just breaking into empty houses and biking around town isn’t really that fun when you do it alone - and the church band was warming up. I thought to myself ‘Rhett, that looks awesome.’”

“You spoke to yourself in third person?”

Rhett frowned at him and Link mimed zipping his lips.

“So, like I was saying, I decided to start a band. Got some of the guys who were also hanging around the church looking like they were about to make a deal with the devil to stop their boredom, and we just, you know, started a band!”

His eyebrows bounced on his forehead, expecting Link to share his enthusiasm, but even though Link hadn’t really been around, he couldn’t help feeling a bit left out.

“That simple, hunh?”

Rhett was about to nod, but shook his head instead. “Problem is, three out of four of us don’t know how to play the instruments we picked. Matt’s dad is helping me learn mine.”

“That’s cool.”

“We don’t really have a vocal,” Rhett said.

“Hm.”

“Like, we really need one. Might help pull the melody together.”

“I think the melody needs to be pulled together before someone starts screaming lyrics over it.”

“See, you’re already doing a good job as vocal.”

Link pointed a finger to his chest. “ _Me?_ ”

“Yeah!” Rhett said enthusiastically, his cheeks apples on his face. “I’ve heard you sing before. It’s not bad.”

“Yeah, but it’s not great…”

“We don’t need great. We need someone on the same level as us!”

Link’s brows drew down. Rhett had said barely any of them knew how to play instruments. Rhett seemed to figure out his mistake when Link just glared at him.

“I mean, you know what I mean.” Rhett fiddled with the strings of his guitar, the twanging bouncing off the walls of the small guest bedroom. “Will you do it?”

“Have you already asked someone else?”

Rhett shrugged. “Well, I tried myself but it just doesn’t sound right. There’s stuff missing, you know?”

“Like what?”

“Like harmony, backing vocals, main vocals…stuff to make it cohesive.”

Link gnawed on his bottom lip, considering it for a moment.

“What about the other guys in the band?”

“What about them?”

Link gripped the sides of his chair, his knuckles going white. “Do they know that the person you want to sing with them is me?”

“No. I just told them I already had somebody in mind when they wanted to start having tryouts.”

Link gritted his teeth and flicked his hair out of his eyes. “Because you figured they wouldn’t want me if they knew it was me?”

“What? No-”

“Save it!” Link said, folding his arms. “I don’t even know why-” he shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come over.” Link ran a hand through his hair. He’d been reading a lot of self-help books lately, even spent most of the winter with an LGBTTeen support group Amber and her parents had gotten him in contact with, and he still hadn’t been able to completely erase the damage done to him and the tenuous peace he’d come to within himself at that Military camp.

He glanced up to find Rhett looking stricken, the excitement from earlier completely washed from his features. He hadn’t meant things the way they sounded. He probably just hadn’t even thought about it.

Link huffed. “I’m sorry, Rhett,” he finally said. “I guess I just have a lot on my plate. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Rhett nodded. “I’m sorry, too…for…whatever I did…”

“Psh,” Link let out a dry chuckle. “It’s just…I’ve taken a lot from people over the years and thinking it was coming from you too, kinda made me flip out.”

“But I mean, you’re dating Amber, right?”

“People who’ve hated me since first grade aren’t going to suddenly like me just because I’m dating the hottest girl in school.”

“One of the hottest,” Rhett corrected. “Stephanie still has the best boobs.”

Link rolled his eyes and Rhett laughed, glad to see some of his dark mood had lifted again.

“And it doesn’t really stop the rumors, you know.”

He looked up, meeting Rhett’s eyes. He’d never asked Rhett what he thought about the rumors. The whispered words that a certain basket ball player liked his faggot friend to go down on him after games, that Link Neal was going to hell and would take every boy he touched down with him, that Link spread homosexuality like lice in a kindergarten classroom.

Rhett broke eye contact first, looking down at the guitar resting against his lap for the first time in nearly half an hour. He stroked the soft wood of it. “I know…”

Link leaned back in his chair, the setting sun taking most of the light from the room. He sighed and propped his feet on the bed beside Rhett.

“Should I…I don’t know what to-” Rhett scratched the back of his head. He’d caught a whiff of something sweet when Link shifted in his seat but didn’t comment on it. He’d actually grown used to the sandalwood scent Link had started wearing to school. It tugged at something deep within him that Link smelled like himself again. He shook his head at the odd thought that he wanted to pull Link closer so he could try to name exactly what the scent was. “I guess I just can’t understand why people don’t see you the way I see you.”

Link tilted his head in curiosity. “Oh? And how _do_ you see me?”

Rhett pulled his full lower lip between his teeth, looking shy. “Link, man, don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?”

A light flush stained his cheeks. This hadn’t been what he’d planned for their first sleepover in more than two years. He’d wanted to boast about his band a little bit, show off some flashy guitar playing, maybe play a little catch outside of he could talk Link into it. “You just…I mean…”

One thing Rhett hated talking about more than their next French assignment, were his feelings. And since Rhett was having such a hard time getting words out, Link guessed that’s exactly what Rhett was trying to do…talk about his feelings.

His brows rose higher and higher the longer it took Rhett to say something. “I’m listening…” Link encouraged quietly. He didn’t want to startle Rhett out of his sudden vulnerability.

Rhett kept his eyes on his shoes. “You’re…”

“Spit it out, dude. I’m not going to laugh at you.” He pulled his feet from the bed and leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. He scooted closer and angled his head so he could try to see Rhett’s face. “You’re red as an apple.”

“Some apples are green, even yellow. And-”

“Don’t change the subject. I’m in the mood to hear something sweet,” Link said with a teasing smile.

If anything, Rhett blushed even harder.

“Never knew you were a coward…” Link knew the words would immediately make Rhett puff up and try to prove that he wasn’t, which was exactly the reaction he got. He cheered internally when Rhett’s head shot up and determined eyes met his.

“You’re just…my Link, you know?”

“ _Your_ Link?”

“You know…,” Rhett grumbled, not really sure how else to phrase it. “The kid who stared at me on my first day of class in a new town. You didn’t back down even though other kids thought I was some giant freak. You’re like always there for me and you cheer me on, man and, geez,” he broke off, scratching the back of his ear. “Do I really need to say all this out loud?”

“Yeah,” Link said with a wide smile.

Rhett sighed and continued. “You talk me out of something really stupid when I need to be talked out of it. You do dumb crap with me if I can convince you it’ll be fun. And you don’t make me feel embarrassed about crying over commercials and stuff with my dad.” His cheeks were flaming but he marched on. “You make me want to be there for you the same way you’re there for me.”

Link sat there gaping at him. He hadn’t expected all that. He’d thought Rhett was just going to say something like ‘you’re cool’ or ‘you’re not bad’.

“I mean…you’re awesome,” Rhett finally finished, looking timid for a person breaching six foot seven.

Link smiled, so brightly Rhett thought his eyes may have watered from looking at it directly. He would have added that Link had the most beautiful smile, but he didn’t figure that was something he should say was a reason other people should want to be Link’s friend.

“Well…you’re kind of awesome too.”

“Heh.” Rhett rubbed the back of his freckled neck.

Link laughed, propping his feet up again and lacing his fingers behind his head. “Now that we’ve talked about our feelings-”

Rhett chuckled, wondering why his palms were so sweaty.

“Why don’t you show me what you’ve learned on that there _geetar_ , boy?” he said, slipping into a more heavily southern accent. “I might toss you a quarter or two if you play well enough.”

“Well, I don’t play for quarters, Mister?”

“Oh?”

“No, sir. I play for pennies.”


	9. Meeting the Guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link finds the courage to meet some of Rhett's other friends and ends up meeting a cute boy.

“Hi…” Link said nervously, shoving his hand back into his pocket after he waved. After some convincing, he’d followed Rhett to the church. The band was there practicing like they did often on the days Matt’s dad didn’t feel up to hearing their noise from his garage. John was apparently a nephew of the pastor and had gotten the permission to use the stage on Thursday and Saturday afternoons. They just weren’t allowed to turn on more lights than they needed or run the ac.

Matt, Eric, and John all looked up from the instruments they were struggling with in the cloying heat of the church. “Uhh…”

Rhett slapped a heavy hand down on his friend’s shoulder, causing Link to grimace. “This is the guy I wanted to be our other vocal. He says he’s not up for it, but I brought him to see what we were working on. Maybe we can change his mind, you know?”

Eric twirled his drumstick between agile fingers, the muscles rippling in his forearm. He, along with the other two boys, had discarded his shirt onto the carpet covered floor.

“You’re Link, right?” Eric asked, cocking his head at the slim boy who seemed he just wanted to hide behind his larger friend. From the way he kept glancing at the door, you’d think he’d been dragged there.

“Yeah?…” Link answered as if he weren’t sure that confirming who the boy thought he was was a good idea.

But instead of saying anything either positive or negative about it, Eric just nodded thoughtfully, his cheek dimpling on one side.

“I’m Eric.”

“Um…Link…” He felt like he was introducing himself for the second time.

“That’s Matt,” Rhett said, pointing to a boy sitting on a gray, metal folding chair near the keyboard. He had dark brown hair, the start of a beard, and an acoustic guitar across his stomach. Matt waved back and went back to trying to tune his guitar. “And that’s John on bass.”

“Hi.”

Link nodded, feeling uncomfortable. It’d been a while since he was with a group of guys who weren’t staring daggers or leering at him. Matt seemed more interested in his guitar, John was struggling to string at least two notes together, and Eric…well Eric just kept _grinning_ at him.

“Where do you want to sit?” Rhett asked, forcing his attention away from the smiling boy. He gestured to a stool over to the side and a couple of other metal folding chairs. Link grabbed a random one and pulled it next to a large, stained glass window helping to illuminate the building. Before sitting, he dipped into his bag and retrieved a book. He heard Rhett scoff above him.

“You’re not going to watch me?” he asked quietly.

Link laughed at his offended expression. “I watched you all last weekend, wasn’t that enough?”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’m listening, man. Seriously. I just really want to finish this book.”

Rhett sighed and headed to the platform where the rest of the guys waited, taking his guitar off his back and looking a little deflated.

Link shook his head. He couldn’t understand Rhett’s desire to always have him around when he practiced basketball or guitar. Making sure to keep some of his attention on the band, he flipped to the middle of his book, deciding to put Rhett’s odd behavior out of his mind. He felt strange reading a book about coming to terms with gender identity in the middle of a church.

———————————————————————————————————

“So what’d you think?”

Link looked up, expecting it to be Rhett, who always seemed to want to discuss his performance in detail once he was done with anything, but instead it was the boy who’d been sitting at the drums. He carefully closed his book, hoping he hadn’t seen what he’d been reading. He’d been wrapping his books with covers from other books when he took them out in public to keep some whispers at bay. He didn’t mind people talking about him. Not so much. Not anymore. But he wouldn’t be able to stand it if more talk got to his mother. He could already see the stress around her eyes at worrying what the future might bring for him.

“Ummm…Eric, right?”

The boy nodded, two dimples flashing as he showed bright teeth in a smile. _Wow._

Link cleared his throat, trying to hide the light blush that suddenly stained his face. “It..it wasn’t bad. I mean, _you_ sound like you know what you’re doing at least.”

Eric rolled a drumstick between his fingers, it seemed to be an easy habit of his. “Yeah. I’ve been learning since I was a kid. My dad plays keyboard sometimes and I wanted to learn music too, you know, bonding and whatnot.”

Link looked down, thinking about the last time he’d spent any time with his dad and tried to pin a grin on his face, but he felt a lump forming in his throat.

Eric scratched the back of his head, realizing he’d somehow made Link feel bad. That was the last thing he wanted. “So…what you reading?”

“Just a book,” Link answered evasively, causing Eric to feel even more uncomfortable. He felt like he’d put his foot in his mouth some time back and didn’t know how to get it out again.

“Ah…” He knocked his drumsticks together. “So, um, why don’t you want to be in our band?” he asked, finally hoping he’d settled on a safe topic.

Link rubbed his palms over the rough surface of his book. “I don’t know, thought maybe you guys wouldn’t want me in it.”

“Why not?” Eric asked, looking confused.

“You go to our school right?”

“Yeah…”

Link raised his brows and Eric suddenly realized what he meant.

“Oh, the talk going around…about you?”

“Un-huh.”

Eric smiled. “I don’t mind.”

Link frowned, his disbelief clear. “You _don’t_?”

“No.” Eric twirled his drumsticks, those dimples appearing again and there seemed to be something in his gaze. Link felt his face warming again. “I don’t.”

“You ready to go, man?”

Link jerked at the sound of Rhett’s voice. Eric’s smile was mesmerizing. He hadn’t even realized everyone else was done packing their instruments and folding their chairs away. He quickly stood, but lost his balance, one of his feet having fallen asleep. Eric reached out a quick hand, steadying Link against his solid torso before releasing him to stand on his own. Link felt like he’d just been pressed up against a furnace and the blush spreading across his face was impossible to hide.

“You okay?” Rhett asked, immediately coming to his side. “I swear you’re the clumsiest person I know. Always getting scraped up somewhere. You okay?”

“Yeah,” Link answered, still looking into Eric’s twinkling brown eyes. Being an inch shorter than Link, it was easy. “My foot’s sleepy. That’s all.”

Rhett’s lips quirked. “Your foot’s _sleepy_?” He readjusted the strap of his guitar. “Let’s go then.”

“You sure you don’t want to join the band?” Eric asked. “We’d really like to have you.”

Rhett threw his arm around Link’s shoulders, shaking him around a bit. “See, I told you, man,” he said into his ear. He didn’t seem to notice the intense eye contact between the two boys or the light pink staining Link’s cheeks.


	10. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link has a secret to tell Rhett, but he's not sure he can get it out.

Link sat on a large rock at the edge of a cow field. Rhett was supposed to meet him there in about an hour, but he wasn’t really thinking about that. He was thinking about Eric with those firm arms and inviting dimples. He felt himself getting warm again and stood up, walking a few feet until he reached a trickle of the creek seeping through the roots and dirt of the woods.

He didn’t know what to do about that. Putting himself out there again. What if Eric turned out to be like that guy at camp? The guy who’d twisted him in so many directions and made him forget who he was for a long time, trying to become who that guy wanted him to be. He’d thought he’d been getting acceptance when he’d really been being patronized and made fun of.

He didn’t want to think about Ethan. He didn’t want to think about that entire summer again, but it seemed to be such a looming part of his life and kept interrupting him like a bad guest.

Eric. He’d think about Eric. He seemed nice enough. Rhett said he was a good guy, and Amber had agreed that he needed a good experience to cancel out the bad. What if Eric could be that for him?

He sighed and walked back to the rocks where he’d left his shoes, sitting on one of the smaller rocks and wrapping his arms around his knees.

But did he really want to invite someone in who’d inevitably try to define him when he hadn’t even finished defining himself?

He stood up again, unable to relax. He yanked his hair out of the low ponytail he kept it in. It was now long, and thick, and curling down to his collarbones in the front. He loved the way it softened his features when he stood in front of the mirror in his room. The harsh, short hair cut his father had forced on him had left him feeling so unstable and unsure of himself that Ethan and those other dicks at that military camp-

Link kicked a patch of pebbles, stinging his bare toes, forcing himself to stop thinking about that. It was damaging. He didn’t know when or even _if_ he’d finally be able to completely put those weeks behind him, but dwelling definitely didn’t help.

“Link?”

He turned on the spot, his first and oldest friend working his way past cow patties and knee high, burred grass to get to him, his blondish hair shining in the summer sun.

Link couldn’t help the little smile that quirked the corner of his lip as the image of a giraffe sprang into his mind.

“Hey, dude,” he greeted, raising a hand into the gentle breeze.

Rhett lifted his eyes from the ground to wave back at him and paused for a moment, his mouth dropping open, before he forced it closed with a smile and continued toward him. He stopped barely a foot away, his expression strange.

Link folded his arms across his narrow waist and leaned against the nearest tree, cocking his hip to one side. “What’s that face for?” he asked, spreading his fingers and gesturing.

Rhett’s eyes seemed to jump around his face before he glanced up at the sky, appearing to fold in on himself for a moment before he chuckled wryly. “Just thinking about something I read in lit. I’ll tell you about it some other day.”

“Umkay…” He suddenly smirked. “I didn’t think you _knew_ how to read.”

Rhett lunged forward, pulling him into a headlock and ruffling his hair into unruly snarls.

Link grunted, struggling against the hold with all his strength, which was considerably less than Rhett’s and was practically panting by the time he managed to get out of it.

Rhett laughed and poked him in the ribs. “I thought you’d grow out of being annoying.”

“You’ve got to be wrong about something, know-it-all,” he said with an _oomph_ , wrapping his arms protectively around his stomach.

“I still think there’s hope for you.”

“Psh.”

“What did you want to meet out here for anyway? You sounded all nervous on the phone.”

Link plucked at the lose skin of his elbow with the opposite hand, scuffing his foot in the dirt and realized that this wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t ready. Geez. He’d been feeling impulsive and distant and needy and that just wasn’t the mindset he needed to be in for a conversation like this. And he wasn’t even sure if he was done having conversations with himself.

Rhett was good at thinking problems through, looking at them from different angles while Link just came at them different. Over the years he’d wanted to open up to Rhett to get his insight, but he also didn’t want to risk losing him. He hated that feeling: not knowing if Rhett was the type who would stick it out or tell him that he was just messed up in the head. But Rhett was never intentionally cruel.

He’d also wanted to ask Rhett more about Eric. Like, did he know that Eric didn’t exactly fit the normal definition of what a male should be and want? And if he did, was he okay with it? And if he didn’t…would he be?

“Link? You been hanging out with these cows too long? You learn how to sleep standing up?”

Link came out of himself, chuckling a bit. “I wish.”

“ _Well_?”

“Just…this might surprise you…” He shuffled a hand through his thick hair, unaware of Rhett’s intense gaze on the progression of his digits through the mane. “I wanted to talk to you about…Amber…”

“You called me out here to talk about Amber? What? Is she pregnant!” Rhett gasped, his big eyes growing even larger. “Are you gonna have to get married?! Dude, you’re not even out of high school! What about us rooming together at NCState?!”

Link sputtered, “What? Woah! Hold on, man. I just say a few words and all this?! You gotta lay off your mom’s gossip magazines.”

“Then _what_? We haven’t called one of these since I needed help deciding between Leslie and Julia. Thought it had to be something _big_.”

Link’s fingers shifted nervously together, pulling at one another. Since he couldn’t say it all out now, he figured that laying a line of bread crumbs would make the eventual confession a lot easier. Or maybe they would grow apart before the pressure to fully confide in Rhett grew too great. He hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but he knew what college and just life in general could do to people.

He finally settled down on the larger rock, scrambling up with his bare toes, and Rhett sank down on the smaller one next to his neatly aligned shoes. Sometimes he hated how neat he’d become after that summer. He’d already been pretty fastidious, but the regiment at the military camp had helped him feel the only amount of control he’d had in that situation. He peeled his eyes off the shoes and put them back on Rhett, his friend who’d lain in bed beside him on his first night out of that backwards, hell-hole and helped him with his presence more than many could with words.

“Amber and I aren’t dating.”

Green eyes like the end of fall and the beginning of spring. The first crush he’d ever had and helped him figure out he wasn’t like other boys. He hadn’t even realized it was a crush until he’d looked back on it recently and smiled fondly at the memory. Those same eyes were now blinking at him in sympathy.

“You broke up?”

Link bit the inside of his jaw. “Umm, no. We were never actually dating.”

Now Rhett looked shocked and very much confused. “What?!”

Link’s knee jiggled up and down and he squinted into the sunlight rather than looking at Rhett. “See umm, we’ve just been friends for a really long time.”

Rhett shifted on his own rock, not sure what to do with this information or exactly why Link was telling him this.

“We thought it would be a good idea to pretend to be a couple so people would stop, you know, talking about me. They didn’t exactly let up…but it got a little better, you know.”

“Why…”

“I just…I don’t like lying to you, Rhett.” Blades of grass whispered against each other and Link wondered if he’d given too much away with just this portion of his confession. His heart pounded, wondering if he was about to lose one of his best friends, if he was about to get his ass kicked.

He squeezed his eyes shut and flinched when he heard Rhett’s shoes scuttling up the side of his rock and felt Rhett’s sudden presence beside him.

Link waited for him to say something, to ask more questions or hurl accusations. But Rhett just sat there, silence stretching on. He finally pried his eyes open to look at his friend, but Rhett wasn’t looking at him, just staring off into the distance, his knees drawn up and his lanky arms draped around them. Link turned his head to see what Rhett might be looking at and just saw both their bicycles resting together near the edge of the cow fence.

Link opened his mouth wanting to ask Rhett what he thought, what he was feeling. He ended up shutting it again though, realizing that Rhett’s presence once again said more than words could.


	11. The Gig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett's band finally have a gig to play.

“Hey, Samantha,” Rhett said, pacing in his front yard as he dribbled his basketball. Samantha lived up the road a-ways. He’d been thinking about asking her out for the past few months, but he’d just never gotten around to it. He had basketball camp, training, and then band practice with the rest of the guys. They also got to play a bit around town now that they’d actually figured out how to throw a melody together and that was taking up a bit of time. Rhett also found that they spent a whole lot more time just shooting the breeze now that Link was part of the band. The guy could talk up a storm when he got going.

Samantha sank down on a patio chair on their lawn. Link usually sat there when he came over to hang out and watch him, but he hadn’t been around as much over the summer.

“Rhett,” she said with a smile, crossing her knees. “I heard Wax Paper Dogz is gonna play at the church dance next weekend.”

“Yeah.” He passed the ball from one hand to the other, squinting at her in the sunlight. Redhead. He’d never dated a redhead. And she had cute little freckles on her shoulders. “You gonna be there?”

“Going with Tommy,” Samantha grinned when she saw him frown. “Why?”

Rhett shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. He hadn’t dated anyone in almost a year and felt maybe that was the cause of the weird thoughts he couldn’t get out of his head. “Just wondering. Bigger the crowd the better, ya know?”

She pushed a cascade of red curls off one shoulder. “Sure. Looking forward to finally seeing you guys in action. I missed the last time you played.”

He started dribbling again, focusing on his layup. He was no longer interested now that he knew she was off the table. She could go chat about Tommy somewhere else. “Yeah, we just get better and better.”

He didn’t know if she tried to strike up conversation again, or when she left, his mind was focused on his sport and he made certain it didn’t wander anywhere else.

—————————————————————————————————————————

“You know, it’d be nice if we got paid for these things,” Matt griped, and not for the first time. He spent half of his time at a summer job that paid the same low rate as every other kid’s part-time job.

“I barely scrape together enough to buy gas,” John complained running his fingers over his electric guitar just to hear the strings hum. “I’m gonna need to carpool the next time we get together,” he said, glancing at Rhett who lived closer to him and on the way to the church.

Rhett lounged in the pews, exhausted from having jogged a few miles that morning to try to build his stamina. His long legs ate up a lot of ground, but he just couldn’t go the distance Link could. “Sure we can carpool.” He turned his head, looking for Link. He sat up when he saw him walking through the door just then, Eric not far behind.

“Wow,” Link laughed. “This is the first time we’ve gotten here _after_ the rest of you lazy bums.”

Matt chucked a balled up sheet of notebook paper at his head, which he easily flicked away.

Rhett jumped up from where he sat and threw an arm around Link’s shoulders.

“Jesus, one day you’re gonna break my neck,” Link said, pretending to be annoyed. He grabbed Rhett around the waist to try to wrestle him off. “I hope you know that if you damage me, my mom’s gonna come after you _and_ your family.”

As always, Rhett roughed up his hair before he let him go, earning a glare and a hard push to the chest. “Where you been, man? I was looking for you to go running with me the other day.”

“Avoiding you.” Link fluffed his hands through the long strands of his hair, easily fixing it. “I got a life too, ya know?”

Rhett bumped against his shoulder. “Yeah, right. And I’ve got a limo waiting for me outside.”

Eric made a sound in his throat and pushed between them. “If you guys are done flirting, can we start practice? I’ve got a date later tonight that I don’t want to miss.”

The suggestion that he’d been flirting with his friend hit Rhett like a cold slap to the face. He shifted uncomfortably and avoided looking at Link as he went to pull his guitar out of its case. “What song should we start with?” he asked, hoping no one would notice how red his face was. He fiddled with the sheet music they’d cobbled together.

“Forget practice!” John exclaimed. “Who’s the hot date? You haven’t dated anyone since what, fifth grade?”

Eric laughed, stretching his arms and flexing his fingers, warming up to play. “Don’t worry about it, dude. You should worry more about whether you’re going to be able to play a solid riff come Saturday.”

“My riff is locked down, man. Tell us about your girl. I need to live vicariously through _someone_.”

He scratched the back of his shorn head, dark brown tufts of hair rippling beneath his fingertips. “That’s sad, bro.”

“Yeah, pretty pathetic,” Matt agreed, getting in a dig at John.

“It’s not like you’ve got anyone either!”

“I’m saving myself,” he said, holding up his left hand which was decorated by a silver promise ring.

“Doesn’t mean ya can’t date!” John said, holding up his own adorned hand. “Ya gotta figure out which girl is the _right_ girl. Just standing around and looking at them isn’t gonna help.”

“But it’ll keep temptation-”

“Wow,” Rhett groaned. “We get enough of this on the teen retreats. Do I have to listen to it _now_ too? Even my brother’s been spouting this mess since he got back from his first year at college. Dude’s trying to be a pastor and drag me right along with him.”

“This must be torture for you then,” Link chipped in. “You’ve been hornin’ after girls since you were ten.”

“Dude, _shut up_.”

“Wow, really?” John asked, looking amazed. “If that’s true there’s no way you’re still a virgin.” He put down his guitar and leaned closer to the taller band member. “What’s it like?!”

All the guys turned toward him, their eyes bright with interest. Rhett glared at his friend who only smirked back at him, his arms folded over his small waist.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said through clenched teeth. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Especially if you do more than kiss,” Link said, waggling his eyebrows.

Rhett fought the odd pleasant feeling that went through him at Link’s teasing and instead frowned at him. “Really, Link,” he said in all seriousness.

Link studied him for a moment, then sighed, turning his half smile to Eric instead. “Did you start this little fight just so you wouldn’t have to tell us about that date you got lined up?”

The drummer held up his hands, a knowing grin on his handsome face. “Saw right through me, huh?”

“Yup.”

Instead of answering, he just winked and picked up his drumsticks. “We’ve got to practice, guys. Gig’s in only two days and we still sound like geese tryna birth a horse.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett stood out by his car in the parking lot, watching the entrance of the church for Link to come out. There seemed to be this weird…energy growing in his chest when he thought about his friend. He guessed that’s what years of friendship could do to a guy. It took a few moments, since Link was probably in there catching up with everybody he hadn’t seen in a week, but eventually he appeared, Eric’s arm draped casually around his shoulder and a laugh on his lips.

 _When did those two get so close?_  Rhett wondered, stepping into the ring of light from the lamp post.

“Link,” he called out, waving to get his friend’s attention.

Link smiled over at him, said something to Eric, then made his way across the low grass between the sidewalk and the church parking lot. “Wussup, man?”

“I just wondered if, ya know, you want to catch up. I figured I could drive ya home, since I don’t see your truck out here, and maybe we could…talk.” _Geez, I sound pathetic._ “Or listen to music. Been a while since we just cruised around and listened to music. Who knows how much time we’re going to have to do that once senior year starts? Not to mention college.” _Stop talking, Rhett. Just stop talking._  

The look on Link’s face was a conflicted one. He gnawed his bottom lip, then glanced over his shoulder to where Eric now stood next to his low sports car.

“I guess it’s just more convenient if Eric drives ya home since you both live on the other side of town, huh?” Rhett asked, also looking at the other guy. He shifted his attention back to Link.

“Maybe after the dance, then, if you’re not too tired after the show? I’m kind of going to be busy with training for the rest of the week.” He turned toward his car and was about to slip the key into the door when he felt Link’s hand on his arm.

“Wait for a minute, okay?”

He heard Link’s sneakers on the loose rocks of the pavement, then a mumbled conversation between Link and Eric and suddenly Link was at his side again.

“I have something to do after the dance, so tonight’s probably the most time we’re going to have before the school year starts.”

Rhett’s face immediately brightened as they slipped into the car, rolling the windows all the way down.

“I can’t keep ignoring my best friend.”

“Specially not after that crap you pulled in there.” Rhett shook his head and started the car.

“What? _Are_ you a virgin?” Link asked in surprise. “I thought for sure-”

“Being on the basketball team, you gotta have a certain reputation, okay? If the guys said something, I’d just play along.” He pulled out of the parking lot and headed out into the quiet streets of Buies Creek. “And yeah, I think about it a lot, but I’m not a freakin’ animal, man. I’ve got self-control.”

“Wow. One of the things I worried about when I was telling you that Amber is just a friend is that you’d know I’d never-”

“Well, you love your freakin’ rocks so much , I kinda figured.”

Link laughed, smacking him on the shoulder. “Don’t bring my rocks into this. Besides, I haven’t used my rock tumbler in years.” He scratched his chin. “I wonder if that thing even still works…”

“Probably not.” Rhett said, carefully taking a turn. “I think I broke it the last time I was over there.”

“Dude! I bought that with my own money!”

Rhett scoffed. “You haven’t used it in forever. You don’t even know if the thing works or not.”

“Still…”

Rhett laid a hand on his leg. “If you really care about the thing, I can get you another one if I was the one that messed it up.” He looked over at him in the dim light of the moon streaming in through the car windows. “Okay?”

“’Kay,” Link suddenly smiled. “Or you could just let me break something of yours in return.”

“Oh, like what?” Rhett asked, realizing where his hand was and moved it back to his side of the car as casually as he could.

“I’ll tell you when I find out if my rock tumbler’s busted.”

“What if you mess it up just so you can mess up something of mine?”

Link grinned, mischief in his eyes. Rhett laughed nervously. “I guess you’re just gonna have to trust me.”


	12. Night Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link's relationship with his boyfriend has become rocky. Rhett tries to comfort his best friend.

Link tilted his head back when Eric sat down behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and sliding his strong hands up his torso.

“I thought you were going to teach me how to play the drums,” Link huffed, when he felt a moist finger tip circling his nipple. God it felt good.

Eric scooted his chair closer to the stool Link sat on until there was not a breath of space between them. Link closed his eyes when he felt a warm, wet mouth nibble the sensitive skin on the side of his neck.

“You don’t care about playing the drums,” Eric murmured, sliding one hand down past Link’s belly button to skim the top of his pants. He twisted the material until he managed to free the button then slowly pulled the zipper down, wondering if this time, Link would finally let him go there.

“Hang on, Eric. The other guys are going to show up soon,” Link protested.

Eric groaned. “We’re like an hour early,” he breathed into his ear. “No one’s here.”

Link squirmed away from his touch and got to his feet, hurriedly fastening his pants. “I can’t take the risk.”

Eric walked toward him, trailing a hand up his ribcage. “If someone walks in, so what? All they’ll see is a little PDA.”

“No, Eric.”

“Link-”

“No! I’ve told you over and over again, no. I don’t want the guys to know or anyone else for that matter. You see how people treat me.”

“If you’re going to get treated that way whether they know or not, I don’t see why you can’t just tell people you’re gay.”

Link tossed his hair over one shoulder, his stance going from annoyed to furious. “I told you, I’m. Not. Gay.”

“Oh, here we go again,” Eric said, tossing his arms up into the air.

“Eric-”

“You’re a guy, who likes guys. There’s no need to try to tidy it all up by trying to pretend you’re a chick.”

“I’m not-”

“Just slapping on lipstick and a dress every once in a while, doesn’t make it so, baby. You can’t just-”

“I’m tired of trying to tell you-”

“And I’m tired of listening. _Jesus!_ I thought finally I had something. You know how hard it is to come out in this freakin’ town?!”

“Yeah. I know-”

“I mean, you’re the only other guy who I thought would get me.”

Link tried to control his own anger. Neither one of them was in an ideal situation, and raised tempers and voices wasn’t going to fix anything. “I get you…I do…I just…I really want you to get me too, ya know?”

“You’re a _guy_ , Link. A _guy._ ”

“I know what I am, okay? But it doesn’t change _who_ I am. I’ve been through so much just to get to this. Don’t take it from me.”

“I’m not trying to, baby. I’m just trying to tell you that-”

“Why are you guys hanging out in the dark?”

The lights came on, blinding the two boys on the stage in the church’s auditorium. They turned toward the door where Matt stood, balancing his instrument in one hand and a bag in the other. “We gotta get set up, people are going to start arriving soon.”

Matt looked around at the freshly decorated room. “Wow, they actually managed to make this place look like something,” he said, swatting at a white streamer hanging from the ceiling. The decorating committee had also added a few strings of lights, tables, and chairs around the edges of the floor where people could sit when they needed to rest or nibble on the refreshments that were to be brought in later.

Link pulled his jaw in tight and drifted to the edge of the stage, sitting down to let his feet hang over the side. He didn’t want to fight with Eric about his identity anymore. It was putting a big wedge between them. It’d been great when they first started dating and Eric hadn’t seemed to mind that he thought of himself as a girl most days and he’d assumed Eric was okay with it. But the first time Eric had seen him in a dress, he’d looked clearly disturbed. Now he refused to talk about it without flipping out. He didn’t understand and wouldn’t listen long enough to try to.

“Link?” He heard Eric approaching him. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.” He felt the back of a knuckle brush swiftly against his cheek before being drawn away. “Come on, baby. Look at me.”

Against his better judgment, he turned to face him, seeing regret in those soft brown eyes.

“We still meetin’ up later tonight?”

Link wasn’t sure. He kind of wanted to spend some time alone to work through his thoughts more, but Eric sat there waiting for him.

“Your place?” Eric asked. He knew Link’s mom was working the night shift tonight.

“I told you, I’m not ready-”

Eric held up his hand, a dimple flashing with his smile. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, I promise. Just…maybe if…maybe I can get used to the idea if I see it enough?” He didn’t sound convinced, but a least he was willing to try.

“What are you two whispering about?” Matt asked, adjusting speaker plugs.

“Nunya,” Link said.

“What’s that?”

“Nunya business,” he burst out laughing, falling back against Eric. “I can’t believe he fell for that,” Link gasped.

Matt just rolled his eyes, getting pretty used to Link’s antics at this point. “Wow. So clever.”

“I know right.” He pushed himself off his boyfriend and looked back at him. “I guess we’re still on,” he finally answered. “I really want to give us a chance.”

“Me too,” Eric said, glancing over his shoulder to see if Matt was looking at them, then at the door to make sure no one else had slipped in before planting a quick kiss on Link’s cheek. “Thank’s, baby.”

Link let him get back to his warm-ups and slid the rest of the way offstage, his feet thumping against the wooden floor of the auditorium. He wasn’t certain about his decision and felt nervous about what the night would bring, but he couldn’t be scared to try. The only thing worse than being turned down was never even having the opportunity to be turned down. Sometimes Link worried he was so grateful to have Eric in his life that he let him get away with too much, but other days he let that thought slip from his mind when he considered how few guys there were willing to take the risk.

“Geez, Link, where’s your head?” a voice above him asked when he bumped into something soft yet solid.

He lifted his eyes from the floor to find himself looking up at Rhett. “Sorry, dude. Lot on my mind.”

Rhett reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We’re going to be great tonight.”

Link shook his head. “It’s not about the show.”

“Oh?” Rhett looked toward the stage. “Let me go hook up my guitar and I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Link.”

“Hey, John,” he said as the other band member passed.

He fiddled with some pleats in a table cloth until Rhett came back. “Is half an hour good enough?”

“Maybe too much,” Link laughed. “I don’t have _that_ much on my mind.”

“Yeah, thought I heard the wind whistling through your head earlier.”

“Jerk.”

“Come on, let’s head outside. It feels great out there and the moon’s bigger than I ever seen it.”

“Really?” Link asked, following him. He gasped once they exited the church and he could see the moon sitting above the trees. “Wow! It’s not getting closer to us is it? Like, about to fall?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Rhett chuckled, sitting down on the ground and propping back on his arms so he could keep an eye on the glowing orb. Link settled beside him. “If the moon was falling the whole world would probably be under water by now.”

Link balled up his fist and punched Rhett on the shoulder. “If it does fall, I hope it falls right on you.”

“Aw, you’d miss me if I were gone.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah you would.  Cause I’d sure miss you being on the other side and all.”

Link tilted his head and smiled at him. “When did _you_ get so sappy?”

“I watched some stupid movie before we left where these two old guys were friends when they were kids, had some beef for a few years, then didn’t speak again until they were dying.”

“Wow,” Link reached over and rubbed Rhett’s arm, hoping to sooth the bruise away.

“Made me think about…us, ya know. You’re my oldest friend, Link. I don’t want that to change.”

“I don’t either. We made a pact.”

“Yeah, we did,” Rhett grinned. He looked over at his friend, their eyes meeting in the darkness. “Your mind all cleared up yet?”

Link rolled his eyes.“You been talking so much I haven’t even had a chance to think.”

“So, success?!”

“Ch. Yeah.” His foot bobbed up and down in the springy summer grass. Rhett always managed to make him feel better, and he figured that if things didn’t go well with Eric tonight, he would need a lot of cheering up soon. “Hey,” he said. “Want to come over tomorrow night ? We can celebrate being seniors together.”

Rhett smiled at the idea. “Want me to try to sneak a beer?” He asked in a whisper, feeling like he was being watched since he was so close to a church.

“What do they taste like?” Link questioned, also lowering his voice.

“I don’t know. But it seems like something we should do now that we’re older.”

Link already felt nervous thinking they would probably get caught but nodded anyway. “Okay…”

“And should I bring a change of clothes? I probably shouldn’t drive back if I’m gonna drink.”

Link considered it for a moment then nodded with a wide smile. “Sure, why not. I’ll dust out your sleeping bag tonight.”

“Geez, it’s dusty?” Rhett sounded grossed out.

“Yeah. It’s been in the garage.”

“Ugh. It’s probably infested with spiders,” He protested. “I’ll just bring the one from  _my_ house.”

Link shrugged. “Alright.”

“Guys!”

They turned to find a stressed looking Matt peeping out the door.

“People are here! I’ve been looking for you guys _every_ where. We gotta start playing!”

Heeding the urgency, Rhett hopped to his feet, then reached down to help Link, pulling him a little too hard and nearly unbalancing the smaller boy.

“Whoa. You’re light as a feather, man.”

“I’m heavy where it counts,” Link shot back, then blushed when he realized what it sounded like and Rhett’s eyes went round. “I mean I’ve got muscles. Get your mind outta the gutter.”

Rhett squeezed his upper arms as they walked back into the church. “All I feel is bone.”

Link laughed. “You’re one to talk, Scarecrow.”

“The best looking scarecrow in Buies Creek.”

“I’ll give you that one. Now hurry up and let me onstage before the crowd of six start to riot.”

Rhett chuckled, easily lifted him into his arms, making Link squeak, then giggle when he rolled him onto the stage like a sack of potatoes. John and Matt laughed but Eric didn’t seem amused.

Once everyone stopped goofing around, the show went pretty smoothly. Link forgot his lyrics once or twice and Matt and John may have dropped a few chords between them, but everything around that sounded good enough to keep half the crowd dancing. About an hour in, to catch their collective breath, the boys let the pastor’s son take over for a while, playing a few slow songs on the keyboard while a girl they’d seen a few times in choir sung gently over the microphone.

“Hey, Rhett,” a soft lilting voice said, breaking into the chatter of the boys as they hung around at the side of the stage getting drinks and snapping up finger sandwiches. 

“Hey, Samantha,” the tall boy said.

“Ya’ll sound real good.”

“Thanks. We worked hard.”

“I was wondering,” she twirled a long strand of red hair between her fingers. “If you’d like to dance with me while the music’s nice and slow.”

Rhett lowered his brow. “What happened to Tommy?”

“I got bored.”

The corners of Rhett’s lips turned down at her flippant answer. He’d broken up with a girl once just to see if he could get someone better looking, but it had taken being dumped to realize what a dick move that had been. He might not be looking for anything serious, but he certainly wasn’t looking to get dropped cold by a girl just because she got bored a few hours later. He flicked his hand. “Oh. I don’t think I can dance with you though.”

Her auburn brows climbed in surprise. “Why not?”

“He’s got cooties,” Link said, watching the entire exchange with amusement. “A real bad case of ‘em.”

Samantha stepped back a bit, resting a fist on one of her hips. “I bet he got them from _you_ , you-”

“Don’t!” Rhett snapped, making her mouth pop open, then close in surprise. “Could you just leave us alone? We’re tired and I _really_ don’t want to dance with you.”

She shot another glare at them before pressing her way back into the crowd.

Link cocked his head. “Aw, my knight in shining armor.”

“Shut up,” Rhett blushed.

“Where would I be without my hero?” He put on a southern bell accent, batting his eyelashes. “Why this damsel would be in absolute distress, that’s where.”

The guys laughed at Link’s corny humor, going back to their food with grins on their faces.

“Thanks for trying to step in for me, too, Link.”

“Anytime,” Link said, finally breaking his character. “I could tell she wasn’t your type just by looking at her eyes.”

“What? When did you learn to read people?”

“I didn’t. But when she spent more time looking at your butt than your face, I figured she just wanted a slice of the Rhettster, instead of the whole pie.” He cocked a dark brow, his pink lips turning up at the corners before slipping into another accent. “It’s elementary, my dear.”


	13. Hazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link have their first beers and Rhett discovers something surprising about Link.

Link rolled out of bed when he heard his mom’s voice calling him from the kitchen. Ugh, he felt like crap. He hadn’t gotten to sleep until four in the morning and he hadn’t even taken his makeup off, so he looked like crap too.

He went to his vanity and grabbed a couple of makeup wipes trying to get at the mascara clinging to his lashes and streaking his cheeks. Jesus. Breaking up with Eric had been hard, but he knew it was the right thing to do. He couldn’t stay with someone just because they liked him if they didn’t really want him to be exactly who he was. And he couldn’t change Eric. Eric was gay. He liked other guys, but Link just couldn’t turn off this feminine side of himself. He loved looking like a girl and feeling like a girl any chance that he could and realized that Eric just wasn’t attracted to him when he was a she.

Link sighed and peeled off his dress, hanging it carefully next to the others in the back of his closet wondering if he’d ever have the chance to date again. Where the hell was he going to find a straight guy willing to  pretend they couldn’t see the stubble on his cheeks or his large Adam’s apple?

“Liiiiinnk!!!!” His mom called again. “Hurry and have breakfast with me.”

“I’m just gonna shower real quick, Mom!” he shouted back, then grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank before disappearing into the bathroom, hiding a fresh stream of tears with the pelting rain of his shower. To make himself feel better, he shaved his pits and the trail of hair leading away from his belly button. He thought about getting at his legs too but knew that he’d be playing soccer again soon. He grimaced, then saved his legs anyway making a decision right then and there to quit the sport. He wasn’t good at it, he didn’t like it, and the guys on the team were a bunch of assholes. For the first time that morning, he smiled, knowing that Amber would give him a big ‘you go, girl!’ once she heard the decision he made. He shaved carefully, making sure not to nick the skin, then turned his ankle from side to side to admire the smooth, tanned flesh.

“If I were a guy, _I_ would date me,” he murmured, finally rinsing off and toweling his hair. He was amazed at how much better he felt just by getting cleaned up. He slipped into his outfit, grimaced at his baggy shorts, then went back to his closet to get a different pair. He picked out a pair of tan shorts that came up to his waist and settled way up on his long, lean thighs. He smirked, remembering how Amber would always go green with envy when she saw his legs after they were freshly shaved. He made a mental note to keep up running even though he wouldn’t be training for soccer anymore just to keep the toned shape to his legs.

“Liiiiinkkkkk!!!!!”

He smoothed on a pale pink lip gloss and freshened up his mascara, letting his hair dry naturally around his face. “Cooommmmiinnng!”

He heard his mom laugh and couldn’t help but add a bit of a spring to his step at the sound. Even though she worked the night shift often, she always made sure to come home and make breakfast for him before going off to bed.

Link stepped into the kitchen and noticed the spread of pancakes, eggs, bacon and orange juice waiting for him on the round, wooden table in the center of their small kitchen. “Geez, I coulda just had cereal,” he said, not for the first time. And as usual, she just patted his cheek and settled down across from him at the dinner table without saying anything.

He rested his hand on hers for a moment. “Thanks, mom.”

Sue knew he was saying it about more than the food. She felt her heart swell for the sweet boy she’d given birth to and raised, wishing that his path in life was easier than it had been. She raised her eyes to the ceiling said a quick prayer, then looked back at Link and the bright smile she lived for. “So, who you get all dolled up for?” she asked, passing him some bacon and noting his light makeup and fresh shave. “You and Eric got a date planned today?”

Feeling some of his good mood go away, he shook his head. “No. We broke up last night. He couldn’t really get used to, this,” he said, gesturing toward his body.

“Aw, honey I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be okay. Rhett’s coming over later so I’m probably not even gonna have time to think about Eric. You know how Rhett is.”

Sue gave him a sly smile. “Oh?”

Link rolled his eyes, shoveling some pancake into his mouth. “Gosh, Mom. I’ve told you that Rhett is like a big brother to me.”

“I know, honey, but he’s just so sweet to you that I wish-”

“Ugh, don’t finish that thought.”

She sighed and dug into her own food. “Well, no matter what, I’m sure you’re gonna find someone someday.”

“Really, mom?” he asked, not quite believing her.

“Yes, baby. When you got legs like a rockette, you tend to attract somebody when you ain’t even trying.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Alright, one two three. JUMP!!”

“Ahhhh!” Link screamed when his foot nearly came down on the bloated cow. “Oh man, I almost touched it. Oh man! Do I have anything on me?!” He asked, turning his feet this way and that in order to see the bottom of his shoes.

“No, you’re fine. You cleared it by _at least_ an inch.”

Link shivered. “Ugh!”

“High five!!” Rhett demanded, earning a smack to the palm.

“Never again,” Link said, glancing down at the dead cow. “We’ve been at this for like a half hour and I think my calves are about to give out.”

“ _Gruesome,_ but good one!”

Link rolled his eyes and shifted further away from the decaying beast who’d died halfway through the birthing process, her calf a rotting mess behind her as well. “If I have to do that again, I just know I’m gonna actually land on it.”

“Wanna test it?”

“If you go first.”

Rhett considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah. We’ve already proven ourselves warriors today.” He ripped his shirt off over his head and howled at the overhead sun, beating his fists against his scrawny chest. “Warriors!!!”

A few cows shifted nervously at his loud voice and Link reached up around him to put his hand over his mouth. “Shut up. I don’t plan to be murdered by a bovine before I even graduate high school.”

Rhett shook him off. “Not the worst way to go. I heard Old Lady Nellson tripped over one of her cats and hit her head a few weeks ago. At least a cow is a bit more impressive.”

“Geez, dude.”

“What! I’m just telling you what happened.”

Link shook his head. “You’re gross. Come on, let’s get outta this cow field. It’s starting to feel like blow flies are like trapped under my skin. And I don’t think I’m ever going to get this stink outta my nose,” he said pinching his nostrils.

“You’re probably just smelling your own breath.”

“If I beat you back to the truck, then it’s _your_ breath I was smelling,” Link said, taking off like a shot.

Rhett chuckled, his long legs easily outpacing his friend. He might not run much, but he was a good sprinter.

“Dang it,” Link said when he slammed into the side of the truck to slow his momentum.

“Well death breath, you ready to head back?”

“Yeah just-” Link suddenly scrunched his face and hissed in pain, lifting one ankle off the ground. “Oh no, ow. I think I twisted my ankle.”

Rhett grumbled in a long-suffering manner, “I’ll drive back.” He held the passenger side door open for Link. “You’re a mess you know that?”

Link crawled into the truck, keeping his weight off his right ankle. “You have _no_ idea.” He passed Rhett the keys and tried to rotate the foot to make sure his ankle wasn’t broken. It let out a tiny twinge of pain and his shoulders slumped in relief. “I don’t think it’s that bad,” he said once Rhett was in. “Should probably be good in about an hour or two.”

“Guess we can watch a movie or something and finally get around to those beers. You said your mom is gonna be out until nine?”

Link nodded. “Yeah, so we’re probably gonna have to heat something up to eat.”

“Dang, I was looking forward to your mom’s cooking.”

“Or to just seeing my mom.”

Rhett fleshed pink. “She’s a pretty lady, and I haven’t had a crush on her for years. Stop bringing it up.”

“I think it’s cute,” Link said. “You’d make a great step-dad. Oooh! Then we could hang out all the time.”

“I don’t _wanna_ hang out with you all the time.”

“Aww, come on. You love me. Say you love me.”

“No. Shut up,” Rhett laughed, his cheeks still tinged with warmth.

“Promise you’ll treat her right?”

“I promise I won’t beat you up if you leave me alone.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett pulled the beers out of the fridge where he’d stashed them after Sue had gone to work. He’d managed to sneak them away from a grillin’ party stash his family was organizing. He hoped no one would notice the case was missing. He carried them into the living room where Link was flipping through channels, his legs folded underneath him on the large sofa. Rhett took up a seat on the opposite end and set the beers between them.

“There’s nothing on,” Link deduced after having scrolled through each channel at least twice. “This is the worst time of day to watch something. There’s nothing but news and QVC.”

Rhett turned toward his friend, also folding his legs. “It doesn’t matter what’s on anyway.” He pulled one of the beers from the case, popped the top off, then passed it to Link before opening one for himself.

Link put down the remote, also facing the center of the couch. He lilted the beer toward his nose and coughed when the scent hit his nostrils. “Eugh!”

“Don’t smell it. Just drink it!’ Taking his own advice, Rhett sucked in a deep breath and lifted the bottle to his lips, grimacing when the thick, bitter liquid hit the back of his throat.

“How is it?” Link asked, watching his friend struggle to swallow.

“Umm….good?” Rhett pushed past his struggling throat, wiping tears from his eyes. “Awesome.”

“Liar,” Link chuckled, taking a drink anyway. He pounded a fist on his thigh to get the drink down, forcing his stomach not to heave when it hit the bottom. “Whooo!” He hollered.

Rhett brought up his bottle and clinked it against Link’s. “Again?”

Link blinked tears from his eyes and groaned, but drank when Rhett did. “This is terrible!” He gasped, but drank every time Rhett did. “Ugh, I’m starting to get a headache.”

“This is so nasty,” Rhett agreed, but not wanting to wimp out in front of Link. He wanted to at least finish a whole bottle. “Maybe by the last sip it won’t be so bad, huh?”

Link grimaced, unable to agree or disagree. He felt like his tongue had gone numb and soon his sense of smell would go next.

“Is it warm in here?” Rhett asked, taking off his flannel shirt, leaving nothing but the white t-shirt underneath. “Maybe you should bump up the A.C. or something.”

“Nah,” Link said, shaking his head. “Gotta keep it on a certain temp cause of the bills.”

“This is probably what hell feels like,” Rhett giggled.

“And _tastes_ like.”

Rhett finally forced down the last drop and put his bottle on the floor.

“Dude! Throw that in the trash. We don’t want to accidentally leave evidence laying around.”

“Want another one?” Rhett asked instead.

Link shook his head, but quickly stopped, putting a fingertip to his temple. “No, I don’t think I can handle another one.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He looked at the bottle in his hand, then up at Rhett. “Am I drunk?”

Rhett shrugged, then laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve never been drunk before.”

“Me either.”

“You like it?”

Link ran his fingertips through his hair, his movements feeling slower than usual. “I don’t know. You?”

Rhett snickered and spread his arms. “I don’t know either. Oops…” He’d moved his knee and accidentally knocked the other bottles to the ground where two broke when they made contact with the floor.

“Rhett!”

“It’s not my fault! The beer made me do it. I’m drunk!”

“Oh, suddenly you know what drunk feels like?” Link scoffed, heading to the kitchen to get some paper towels, feeling only a little less coordinated, but otherwise okay. “You’re not allowed to-” he sighed when he saw that Rhett had indeed opened another bottle and was sipping at it slowly. “You’re gonna help by getting _drunker_?”

“Evidence, you said it yourself.” He gestured toward the last beer, opened and sitting on the coffee table. “For you, man.”

“Fine, but you’re helping me clean this mess up first.”

Rhett groaned but helped him sweep up the broken glass and sop up the beer. Link was glad most of it had gotten on the floor instead of splashing up onto the couch, but the earthy scent did linger strongly wherever it had touched.

“My mom’s definitely gonna find out and she’s gonna ground me.”

“Psh, you never get grounded. Remember when we both got caught for breaking the glass in that old shed? And throwing rocks off the roof at NCState?”

Link threw his head back laughing, not having as hard of a time with the beer now. “Your daddy _whooped_ you. How can I forget?”

“I was kind of wishing you would,” Rhett mumbled, spots of red appearing in his slender cheeks. “You’re a bad friend for bringing it up. That was embarrassing.”

“Oh, am I gonna get whooped now?”

Rhett swallowed down the rest of his bottle. “Maybe.”

Link also finished his drink and set it off to the side. “I’d like to see you try.”

Rhett grabbed him by the ankle faster than it took for Link to even realize he’d moved.

“Woah!”

He was pulled across the couch and thrown across Rhett’s lap before he could even register what happened.

“H-hey. No, come on. I was just playing around,” he squeaked, trying to keep a nervous laugh down. “You can’t do this to me!”

“It’s all fun and games ‘til someone gets whooped.”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes,” Link said, dissolving into giggles. “Oh, maybe _this_ is what drunk feels like.”

Rhett smacked him on the butt, causing Link to squirm. “And this is what a whoopin’ feels like. Not so funny _now_ is it?”

Link gasped in surprise, pushing himself off Rhett’s lap and accidentally rolling onto the floor, bumping his arm against a leg of the coffee table. “Ow. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

“Neither did I,” Rhett confessed, looking a little stunned. “I think this needs to go down as something best friend’s never talk about again, huh?”

“Yeah. Right along with this!” Link exclaimed, sitting up suddenly, his fingers easily finding Rhett’s ribs and tickling him through the thin fabric of his shirt. He smiled when Rhett burst out laughing, trying to fight him off. He rose onto his knees for better leverage, getting some fingers into Rhett’s armpits, then regretting it immediately. “Jesus you’re _sweaty_!”

“I told you it was hot in here,” he defended, looking self-conscious. He brushed his sweating palms over the denim of his jeans. “Man, I’m glad those other bottles broke if this is what I’m like just on two beers!”

“I think the speed we guzzled those things down mighta been a problem too. I don’t feel so good.”

“Don’t throw up on me!”

Link shook his head. “Not nauseous. Just kinda dizzy.” He used Rhett’s knees to help leverage himself to his feet. “Uh, I don’t think I like this.”

Rhett stood too, putting a hand on the back of Link’s neck and squeezing the muscles there. “I think I got an idea,” he said, guiding him around the coffee table where they had a little more space. “Jog in place. Maybe we can burn the beer out or something.”

“I don’t feel like jogging. I wanna lie down.”

“Come on, Neal,” he encouraged, starting to run in place.

Link hung his head, but joined his friend. “Ugh, I can feel it sloshing around.”

“Ne-al, Ne-al!” Rhett chanted, garnering a smile. “Ne-al!”

“This senior celebration sucks and my mouth taste like that mulch my mom laid down in the garden.”

“How you know what that tastes like?”

“I ate some.” They shared a sarcastic smile. Link started pumping his arms in the air, just to double the amount of energy he expelled, lifting his knees high to make the jogging more intense.

“Hey…” Rhett suddenly said, slowing his own impromptu workout. “Why are your pits bald?”

Link pulled his arms close to his sides, then realized it was too late, Rhett had already seen. He wondered if he should lie and say he lost a bet or had some kind of skin disease, but the guy standing across from his was supposed to be his best friend, and he didn’t deserve that. “I-I shaved ‘em,” he nervously confessed.

“Shaved… Why?…”

The hard question. Why? What answer should he give? “I like how it looks…how it feels…” He fidgeted where he stood, realizing that Rhett was now looking down at his feet. He’d taken his shoes and socks off when they’d come inside earlier and now his bare feet peeked out from beneath his pants legs. He knew what Rhett was seeing; feet that used to be hairy were now smooth and absolutely hairless.

“Your feet…” Rhett tilted his head and squinted his eyes. “Do I want to know?”

Link scuffed his toe along the waxed floor. “I don’t know…do you?”

Rhett folded his arms over his chest and contemplated his friend. “Do I?”

“ _Do_ you?”

Rhett wasn’t that great at reading people, but he’d known Link a long time and he could tell when he was afraid. Why would he be afraid? He thought back over his friendship with Link, all the years of seeing how different he was from the other boys in class, how he never seemed to date, the way he seemed to be hiding something and seemed so distant sometimes…and that summer he never talked about. Link’s eyes seemed to be pleading him not to ask, but he was standing there waiting for him to if he really wanted to.

“Is it something bad?”

A shoulder rose to his ear. “Some people think so.”

Rhett considered that for a while, but couldn’t make sense of it. “Is it something big?”

A smile made it’s way to Link’s lips. “What is this? Twenty questions? It’s not a plant _or_ a  mineral.”

“Could you be serious for a minute?” Rhett asked impatiently.

“That’s about it, though.”

“Link…”

“Fine.” He put his hands behind his back, one hand holding the other wrist, his head hanging a bit low on his neck. “Yeah. It’s pretty big.”

“Do I want to know?” Rhett asked again, really wondering if he did or not.

Link chewed on his bottom lip, then finally looked across the room to his friend. “If you’re gonna be rooming with me next year, you might want to.”

“That’s the plan.”

Link’s head bobbed on his neck like he was nodding when really he was preparing himself. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, he was about to show himself as he really loved to be to someone he cared about. He held up his finger. “Give me a minute,” he said, disappearing into his bedroom, hoping that this time would go a lot better than the last.


	14. Before You, In a Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link shows Rhett his true self and aches when his best friend's reaction isn't what he'd hoped it would be.

Link found himself again staring at his own reflection in the mirror. He’d brushed and added more curl to his hair, put on mascara, and slicked on a tinted lip gloss. To help make him feel more bold, he’d sprayed on one of his favorite perfumes. It had a very light, fruity scent. If things went bad tonight, he would at least smell good.

Link smoothed his hands down the mauve, cotton dress that fell to the middle of his slender thighs. It looked more like a large sweater that became tight once it hit his legs. He’d thought about throwing on some heels, but figured that might be too much for Rhett, and he really wanted this to go well.

He wrung his hands together, somehow feeling even more terrified than when he’d first shown himself to Eric. He guessed he just had more to lose now.

“Please,” he whispered, his hands steepled as if in prayer. “ _Please_.”

Blowing out one more nervous breath, he gathered his courage and walked out of his bedroom, his eyes on the floor all the way to the living room. Once he reached the place he’d left Rhett, he put his hands behind his back and waited, one foot pointed and poking at the ground, the soft blue nail polish standing out vividly against the wooden floor boards.

Silence.

All he could hear was quick, sharp breathing then the sound of feet padding across the floor. Link clamped down hard on his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to cry when he realized the footsteps were retreating. Further and further away. They were at the door where they hesitated and he felt hope soar before it crashed back down when the door opened, then closed.

Link put his hands over his face and sank down on the abandoned couch, his shoulders shaking as he wept.

————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett stood outside Link’s front door, clutching the railing of the wraparound porch. He fought for thoughts but all he could see was a lengthy expanse of tanned leg and the confusing rush of emotions at Link’s obvious vulnerability. He pounded his hands against his forehead, then paced back and forth, wondering what he was supposed to do. After all the times he’d defended Link, saying that he was just a little different, turns out Link was as they said.

No, he wasn’t. He was just…a little confused, right? Why else would he be wearing dresses and makeup and shaving anything but his face?

Rhett shook his head. He couldn’t deal with this. What did Link expect him to do? Was he supposed to pretend he didn’t find it _strange_? The guy he’d known for most of his life was in there in a dress and makeup.

He paused in his pacing, thinking about how Link used to always wear those little hair bows when he could get away with it, and those lacy socks he’d presented to Rhett shortly after they’d become friends. The way Link liked to wear his hair so long without whipping it around like some rockstar like Rhett would do if he had the courage to grow long hair. The sweet smell that always seemed to emanate from Link’s body.

He laid his head back, realizing this wasn’t anything new. The guy had been dropping clues since they’d first met.

He clenched his jaw hard, about to take a short drive to clear his head despite the beer in his system, when he heard a sound coming from inside the house. He froze, listening hard, then felt ashamed when he realized it was the sound of Link crying. Here he was having a crisis about what he was supposed to do when it was _Link_ who had been through hell his entire life and now Rhett was contributing to it.

He was surprised by the sudden hard lump he felt in the base of his throat and rubbed a hand over stinging eyes. The memory of the previous summer came to him, with Link coming back from his dad’s with short hair and sad, angry eyes. Why the hell was he letting one night change their entire lives? Link in a dress was no different than Link in pants. Link was still Link.

“Link,” he whispered, shoving open the front door and rushing back inside to find Link curled on his side on the sofa.

He struggled to find words, some way to apologize for walking out on him, but the words wouldn’t come. So instead he climbed on the couch, wedging himself into the little space between Link and the back of the sofa, and wrapped his arms around his smaller friend, pulling him close against his chest.

He heard Link suck in a deep breath before warm hands latched onto his forearm.

“I’m an idiot,” Rhett said into his ear, Link’s hair tickling against his face. “I shouldn’t’ve left.”

“You came back,”  Link said softly.

“I didn’t know what else to do. I mean…like I’ve said before…you’re _my_ Link. I’m not going to let a dress come between that.”

He was surprised when he heard Link let out a rough chuckle. “So you want nothing between us?”

“What?”

“Cause I can be out of this dress in like two seconds.”

Rhett laughed, pressing his face even closer to Link. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

After their laughter died down, Link said, “I’m sorry for lying to you all these years.”

“Na. Don’t. _I’m_ the one who’s sorry. Sorry for hanging out with a bunch of asshats and _being_ an asshat. I refused to let myself see you as any different. I just chalked it up to you being soft, like my dad said.”

“Soft?”  

“Hey, he comes from a different generation, okay? And I shouldn’t have repeated what he said. You’re tough in ways that he can’t imagine.”

Link turned his head slightly so he could see Rhett’s face. “You think so?”

Rhett propped himself up on one elbow, stroking the hair back from Link’s forehead with his free hand, then passing his fingers through the smudge lines of his eye makeup. “You’re tougher than me. You never once changed yourself to try to fit in with the rest of those goons. You kept showing up smelling as nice as you wanted.”

“You’re always talking about what I smell like,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, well. I like it.” He put his fingers back in the strands of Link’s hair. “I like your hair too. Like a freakin’ horse, man.”

“What?” Link giggled.

“You know, all thick and shiny like Dean Unkerson’s horses over on the other side of town.”

“You tryna make up for walking out on me? Cause flattery will get you everywhere,” he said, showing his sharp teeth in a crooked smile.

Rhett put a hand on Link’s forehead, staring down into his eyes. “I really _am_ sorry about that.” He tapped his fingers against Link’s skull. “And the bangs really help hide that big forehead of yours.”

Link rolled his eyes and sat up, shifting to the foot of the couch, pushing his hair back into place. “With friends like you, I don’t need enemies.”

Rhett sat up as well, more slowly. “So…am I wrong to assume…that you’re not into girls?”

Link hesitated and Rhett sighed. “Dude, you’re sitting there in a dress that barely covers your buttcheeks-” Link blushed and tugged at the hem of his dress. “You think anything else will make a difference?”

“You’re not wrong,” he said, chewing on a fingernail. “I like guys.”

“So you’re gay?”

Link shook his head. “Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?”

“Well…” he gestured at himself. “I’m a girl.”

“No you’re not,” Rhett said with a smile like Link was playing with him.

“Yes,” Link insisted. “I am.”

“No, you’re-”

“Rhett,” he snapped.

“Fine, you’re a girl,” Rhett said, holding his hands up defensively. “And one with some mighty fine legs at that.”

Link blushed again, crossing his legs. “I know.”

Rhett chuckled. “So…you’re a girl…with…man parts…”

Link leaned back in the chair and looked over at his friends. “A little hard to wrap your head around, huh?”

“Little being the _operative_ word.”

Rhett squinted at him, his eyes running over him from his head to his feet then back up again.

“What?” Link asked, a bit self-consciously, rearranging his hair so his adam’s apple was obscured.

“Just…I don’t know. I guess it’s going to take me a while to get used to it. I mean, do you want me to say ‘she’ now and stop calling you ‘man’ and ‘dude’ and stuff?”

Link shrugged, relaxing a little. “I don’t care what you call me, I know who I am. All I want…” he looked down at his arms. “Is for you to accept me…”

Rhett didn’t know if that required words or some kind of official pledge or something, so just figured sticking around was showing acceptance. “Does your mom know about this?”

“How do you think I get stuff like dresses and makeup without getting to shop for them?” Link smiled. “Amber also gives me stuff, like her sisters old clothes. Last weekend, she gave me the cutest top. It goes with-”

“Ooh my gosh,” Rhett said holding up a hand. “Woah!”

“Oh sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about all that.”

“Maybe if I had another beer or two. You know how I feel about shopping.” He frowned. “I thought you felt the same way,” he said, sounding betrayed.

“Yeah, shopping for _guys_ clothes. It’s all the same stuff you know, button-ups, t-shirts, shorts, pants, boring, blah blah, boring.” He clasped his hands together. “But girls have all these different options like skirts, and dresses, and tank tops, and midriffs and halter tops, and skorts, cullots!”

Rhett grimaced at his friend’s enthusiasm. “I guess I never really thought about it like that. Sounds stressful.”

“You have no idea! I spent so long in there trying to decide what the first thing I wore in front of you would be. Man, I’ve thought about this for so long,” he said, tears coming to his eyes again. “How much I viewed it from every angle, thinking of each possible conclusion. You walking out on me, kicking my ass, calling me names…”

“Never thought I’d stick around huh?” Rhett asked, feeling guilty.

“I didn’t want to hope too hard,” Link said. “I thought it would hurt more if I became sure that you would stay, then you ended up dropping me. I’m still scared you’re going to wake up tomorrow morning and realize you want nothing to do with me.”

Rhett shook his head, then leaned forward, taking one of Link’s hands in his own. “I would like to think of myself as an open-minded, educated fella and I want you to think of me that way too. I’m not some backwater hick who can’t realize that one person can’t be exactly like another. And…the dress looks good on you.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett watched from his sleeping bag as Link took off his makeup in the mirror and slipped his hair up into a clip before grabbing a robe, a towel, and some light blue scrap of fabric before disappearing into the shower.

He clenched his fist, wondering if he really could get used to this. Next year they would be roommates at NCState and Link might be bringing guys back to the dorm. He might accidentally walk into the room one day and see Link making out with some hulking brute with a unibrow. He grunted, revising the thought. Link was too good-looking and too smart for someone like that. He would probably have some smarmy, business type. Would he be able to stand seeing Link make-out with some other guy?

He heard the shower switch on.

And what about Link? If he was a girl…if they had a communal shower…

An unbidden image came to his mind of turning from a shower head to find Link there beside him, long hair soaked and rivulets of water and soap running down his long, tan legs.

 _Now what’s going on with_ me _?!_ Rhett wondered, squirming around. _Link is my friend! My_ best _friend! Since first grade! It’s just kinda hot that the person I most like to hang out with also likes to put on dresses and makeout with guys. That’s all._

He breathed out slowly through his lips.

 _That’s it, man,_ he told himself. Nothing more. _Just some weird, passing curiosity._

He laughed at himself once he’d finally settled down. Sure, every once in a while he’d stared at Link and thought he was kind of nice to look at for a dude. And so what if sometimes he touched Link in ways he would never think of touching his other guy friends? It didn’t mean anything.

 _Those beers must still be affecting me,_ Rhett deduced.

The shower shut off and he heard Link moving around in the bathroom for a bit before he stepped out, wearing what turned out to be a light blue nightgown that was slightly shorter than the dress he’d worn earlier with a pair of tight, stretchy underwear or shorts underneath.

Rhett shot up in his sleeping bag, startling Link. “Dude! What are you wearing?!”

Link spread his arms and rolled his eyes. “My nightgown, obviously.”

“It’s practically see-trough!” Rhett rasped. “I mean, I can see your _nipples_ and everything!”

Link laughed, and put an arm across his chest. “There, is that better? Geez, I had no idea you were so conservative.” He went to the mirror and took out his hair clip, finger combing his hair before heading toward his bed.

Rhett scooted away from him. “Is this how you’re planning to sleep in the dorm?!”

“It’s how I’m most comfortable,” Link said, crawling onto his bed, unaware of the back view he was giving his best friend. “Why?”

“Maybe you could wear something thicker,” Rhett said, sounded strangled. “Or like pajamas. What’s wrong with pajamas?!”

“I don’t like they way they twist around my legs when I’m trying to fall asleep.” He ran a hand down the front of his silky nightgown. “Plus, this feels really nice.” He peeled up the hem of it and stuck it out toward Rhett, “Touch it.”

Rhett shook his head and huddled inside his sleeping bag. “No.”

Link shrugged and pulled his long legs under his covers. “Fine. You don’t know what you’re missing, though.” He flicked off his bedroom light and wriggled around until comfortable, stretching an arm above his head, wrapping his fingers around the headboard. He stayed like that for a while, then turned to his side so he could look down at Rhett in the slice of moonlight coming through his blinds. 

“But seriously though…does this weird you out?”

“You being a girl or the nightgown?” Rhett shot back.

Link chuckled. “All of it?”

Rhett thought it over for a while, then responded, feeling the need to be as honest with Link as Link was being with him. “Yeah. It honestly does. It’s gonna take a while for me to figure out how to be around you and how to talk to you and how to treat you. I mean, I can’t believe I almost flipped my shit when I saw your nipples. I’ve seen them more than a few times over the course of us being friends. I guess it’s just different looking at them when you’re…you know.”

“Honestly, Rhett? That made me feel good. You didn’t see me as a boy in that moment at all, did you?”

Rhett thought about his reaction to the nightgown and realized that he hadn’t for a second seen him as a boy. All of a sudden it just hadn’t seemed right for him to be staring at his chest or even being in the same room with him. “Wow, Legs. You’re right.”

“Legs?”

Rhett blushed, glad it was too dark to be seen. “When you were in your dress and that nightgown, it’s like _all_ I can see. They make up like two thirds of your body, man.”

“No way.”

“Yeah, I mean…I even kinda…” He pinched his lips closed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, _tell_ me!”

“No, really. It’s nothing.” Rhett scrubbed a hand over his forehead. He couldn’t believe he’d been about to confess that stupid fantasy he’d had. That’s something he would have told the old Link about _another_ girl. He didn’t want to make things weird. “I think that beer is messing with my head. Remind me to never drink again, huh?”

“Sure.”

They were quiet for a while and Rhett had assumed Link had fallen sleep until his voice floated into the darkness again.

“Oh yeah, are you ever going to tell me what you were thinking that time.”

“What? What time?”

“When I told you about me and Amber just being friends and when you first showed up, you kind of looked at me funny and said you thought of something from lit class.”

Rhett’s mind wandered back and if anything, his cheeks grew even brighter. Jesus, he hadn’t even known Link thought of himself as a girl then and he’d…

Rhett gnawed on his bottom lip like it was his salvation.

“Come on, dude!!! I told you I’m a girl and you can’t tell me _this_?!”

“Are you going to use that as your trump card for the rest of your life?”

“Maybe.”

“Jerk.”

“Come _on_ ,” Link pleaded.

Rhett sighed. “It was just this stupid passage that’d been stuck in my head from earlier in the day and you reminded me of it?”

“What? How? What passage?”  

“Do you really need to know?”

“You told me you’d tell me one day,” Link stressed. “So _tell_ me.”

“Link…”

“Today is that day. Come on man, I broke up with my boyfriend last night and I came out to you today. Don’t you think-”

“ _Boyfriend_?! Who-”

“Telll meeeeeee,” Link whined over Rhett’s words.

“Fine, dang!” Rhett huffed. “… _O, speak again, bright angel for thou art as glorious to this night bein’ over my head as a winged messenger of heaven. The white-upturned wonderin’ eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy clouds and sails on the bosom of the air_ ,” he said without taking a breath.

Quiet filled the room for a few seconds, then was broken by Link’s hushed voice. “Oh…wow…what’s that from?”

“Romeo and Juliet,” Rhett grumbled, fluffing his pillow with unnecessary strength.

“Oh…” Link said again. “How did I make you think of _that_?”

Rhett hesitated again, then mumbled. “In the sunlight…your hair was down…your eyes…” He pressed his nails into his palm. “You looked like something outta this world.”

He heard a high-pitched laugh, then something large but soft thudded against his back. Link had chucked one of his pillows at him.

“What the?!”

“I’m glad you’re my friend, Rhett,” Link said.

“Yeah, well, stop picking on me and maybe it’ll stay that way.”

Another pillow thudded against his back and the laughter of both teens filled the room.


	15. Prom Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and his ex, Eric, make a stunning revelation at prom that leaves Rhett absolutely furious.

Link was worried about the first day of senior year. He put on his favorite shirt, a pair of pants that were a little tighter than other boys’ in Harnet Central wore them, and brushed out his hair, letting it hang down his back. No little bun at the back of his neck this year.

He compressed his lips and glared determination into his eyes. His reflection was a good one. He was tall, broad-shouldered, narrow waisted, and gave off the appearance of confidence even if he didn’t feel that way inside.  

This was a new year and it was gonna be a better year. He wasn’t gonna let them keep him afraid. If they tried to knock him down, he’d stand back up. He wouldn’t give up any more of himself for them. He would-

“Liiiink!!!” his mom called. “Rhett’s about to eat your breakfast too if you don’t hurry!”

Link grimaced, deciding to finish his pep talk later.

He ran downstairs and paused when Rhett looked up at him, chewing his food slowly, his eyes scanning him up and down.

“What?” Link asked nervously, fiddling with the collar of his blue button-up.

“You…” Rhett swallowed down his food and the words he’d been about to say. “Is that what you’re wearing?” he said instead.

“Yeah…”

Rhett just continued to stare and mess with his pancakes.

Link sighed and walked over to his own plate, splattering some syrup on the stack his mom had given him.

He felt his mom’s hand on his, stopping him. He looked up to see concern, but also pride shining in her eyes. “You look good, baby,” she said fiercely, as if those words summed up everything she held inside.

Link smiled up at her, feeling some of his nervousness abide at her support. They’d either accept him or they wouldn’t and he was tired of hiding. He didn’t need them anyway. He had Amber, Rhett, and the gentle support of the most important person in his life. Heck, he even had the guys in Wax Paper Dogz. He’d never felt so sure that he was doing the right thing.

She released his hand and they both dug into their food, Rhett still silent. He stayed that way even on the drive over to school.

“Wassup?” Link finally asked, unable to take the silence any longer. “I’ve never seen you this nervous about the first day of school. It’s usually _me_ trying to hide my pit stains.”

Rhett chuckled lightly. “I guess I’m a little nervous for _you_. Most of the pricks on the basketball team graduated in May, not many other people were so vocal about you or so able to get other people worked up about it. I guess I just worry that this is gonna start all that again.”

Link ran his fingers through his long hair, dark curls swinging over his shoulder, then back. Just past his shoulders, it was longer than it had ever been and it was hot on the nape of his neck. He almost wished he’d brought a hair tie in case it got to be too much.

“Yeah well, I’ve gotten by without being liked by just about everybody my whole life. The people I got on my side are good enough.”

“It’s not about you being _liked_ , Link,” Rhett grumbled, sounded stressed. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Link smiled and put a reassuring hand on Rhett’s knee. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me. I _swear_ sometimes you treat me like I’m still six years old.”

Rhett calmed down under the warm weight of Link’s touch and missed it when it was so quickly gone. He tightened his grip on the wheel and focused on the road. It was easier than letting his thoughts run rampant. He vowed right then and there to get a new girlfriend as soon as he could.

———————————————————————————————————————————

Apparently, Rhett had nothing to worry about when it came to Link. All the other seniors were too focused on their future to bother him and the juniors just didn’t mess with seniors. Link felt like he was walking on air and while he never fully dressed in feminine clothing, he came as close as possible without attracting too much attention. So what if he wore a flowy looking sweater one day, hanging off one shoulder and a pair of tighter-than-normal jeans? He could pull it off.

With Link’s new confidence came the realization that as long as he was himself and didn’t cow under anyone’s stare or appear ashamed of what he wore or how he acted, most people didn’t press him about anything deeper than what the assignment was that everyone zoned out on. He made new acquaintances, but not many people were added to his tight knit group of friends. The rest of the guys in the band accepted him pretty quickly when he told them in early December. Matt didn’t seem to care one way or another, John just rolled his eyes, Eric tapped away at his drums, and Rhett had stood next to him, holding onto his elbow as if worried Link might faint. It had all been very nerve-wracking, but he’d felt better for it afterward. A few days later, Eric had shown up to his house, apologizing for freaking out when Link had told him he was a girl and asking him how he’d gotten brave enough to come out.

Link invited Eric up to his room and gave him some of the books he’d been reading and a few support groups he could contact. They became closer than they’d ever been when they were a couple.

“You know,” Link said one day when it was just him and Eric hanging out in Eric’s basement, watching some old movies. “Some guy’ll be lucky to get you one day. You’re not so bad when you’re not tryna get in my pants.”

Eric laughed, those dimples Link had fallen so hard for flashing in his tanned cheeks. “Those are some really nice pants, who wouldn’t want to get in those?”

Link rolled his eyes to the heavens. “I take back what I said.”

Cheesy music blared from the tinny speakers of Eric’s television set and Frank Sinatra appeared on screen. “And your channels suck too.”

“Hmmph,” Eric said. He turned the remote around in his fingers for a while, then looked over at Link. Sometimes he wished things could’ve turned out differently and they were still dating, but he liked how it was now. They still had a relationship, just a different one. “I almost came out to my mom yesterday,” he said softly. So softly Link almost hadn’t heard him, but he pushed his hair behind his ear and turned to face his friend.

“Oh yeah?”

Eric nodded. “She asked me why she hasn’t seen me bring home any pretty girls for her to meet. She asked me which girl I was planning to take to prom. I almost told her because it’s hard to keep _lying_ , ya know? I don’t like feeling ashamed of myself.”

Link frowned sympathetically. “What are you gonna do?”

Slumped shoulder’s shrugged and callused fingers massaged the back of a tan neck. Sadness seemed to weigh heavy on him. “I don’t know. Maybe wait til I’m off to college. Make a phone call. Write a letter…That way at least I won’t see if she…or hear…”

Link moved across the pale green couch and pulled his friend into a tight hug, patting his hand gently against his back. He fought against his own tears, struggling to comfort Eric. “I can’t tell you that it’s gonna be okay…” he said.

“I know.”

He pulled Eric closer and said with a little laugh, “Geez, boys’re always making me ruin my mascara.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett fiddled with the buttons of his jacket, closing and opening, then closing them again. Jesus a tux was a bad idea on a hot North Carolina night. At least it would get cooler the more the sun distanced itself from the sky. Pictures seemed to be taking forever and Link appeared to be in a weird mood. He’d be giggling one minute, then serious the next. Once they set off with their dates, Rhett wanted to ask him what was up, but the girls kept the car noisy with their laughter and talk.

Once they got to the venue, Link hopped out of the car and his date waved him off like she’d known he wouldn’t be spending the night at her side. Rhett frowned and took his date’s hand, helping her out of his car and closing the door tight behind her. Once inside, he caught a brief glimpse of Link across the room talking to what looked to be Eric, but they disappeared again so quickly he couldn’t be sure.

His shoes pinched.

The music was too loud.

His date just wanted to be friends.

Rhett was having a bad night.

And _where_ was Link?!

“You want to dance?”

Rhett turned his date down for the fifth time and she finally got fed up with him, walking to a crowd of boys and taking her pick. He couldn’t say that he cared, he was worried about what Link was up to. He also wondered why if Link were up to something, he wouldn’t tell Rhett, his best friend.

Punch disappeared down his gullet like water sinking into desert sand and he found himself having to go to the bathroom. He was only in there for a few seconds, but when he came back out, the entire world had changed. At least the world of the prom. Where it had been noisy before, there was only silence. Where couples had been grinding on the dancefloor, there were now only people standing absolutely still. The reason for that stood up on stage between a horrified prom queen and king.

Link had his hair down and Eric by the lapels, kissing him soundly on the lips. Once they broke away from each other, Eric with a wide, relieved smile on his face and Link with one of absolute mischief, Link turned to the crowd and said giddily, “Eric’s gay and I’m a girl. Goodnight everybody.”

A guitar riff broke the silence and Rhett snapped his head around to find John over by the punch bowl with his electric guitar completely hooked up and amped. He stared in confusion, then realized he must have been in on whatever Eric and Link had planned. Thinking of them, he looked back toward the stage to find that they were gone, vanished somewhere into the night, and with their disappearance, the spell on the audience was broken.

“What the hell?” he heard whispered.

“Was that some kind of prank?”

“Eric’s too hot to be gay!”

Rhett looked around to see at least three girls crying.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

“You know you’re probably gonna get your ass kicked on Monday,” Eric said with a nervous laugh as he drove Link back home.

Link shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” He punched Erick lightly on the shoulder. “Did you get better at kissing since the last time we made out?”

“Yeah, my palm is a really good teacher.”

“Ew.”

“Like you haven’t done it.”

“So? I wouldn’t admit it if I had.”

Eric smiled, stopping in Link’s driveway. “I kinda feel like an ass for asking you to do this then just disappearing.”

“You _are_ an ass,” Link said amiably. “But I understand your reasoning even if I don’t really agree with it. ”

“I just couldn’t take the hiding anymore. I know there’s only a few more weeks until graduation, but I need to get _out_ of here,” he said. “And college isn’t really it for me, ya know?” He pointed to the duffel in his backseat and the pieces of his drum kit he hadn’t managed to fit in his trunk. “I’m planning to head out to L.A. or Memphis, maybe even New York. See if I can find a band or a music school or something. Maybe a nightclub.”

“Yeah, you’re good-looking enough for a nightclub.”

Eric reached across the seat and took Link’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly a few times. “I guess my parents will eventually hear about this.” He shook his head. “In a few months I’ll tell you where I end up, okay? And you’ll let my parents know?”

“Of course,” Link said, squeezing his hand back.

“And if they don’t want to know…I guess I’ll find out when they don’t contact me.”

“ _If_ ,” Link corrected. “ _If_ they don’t contact you.”

“Yeah…” He looked up at Link. “I guess it’s goodnight, huh?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a long way to drive, no matter which direction you pick. I’ll be prayin’ for you if god’s not like the rest of these folk and is willing to listen to the prayers of a deviant.” He could feel the nervous tension in Eric’s hand. “And if you ever need anything, just let me know, huh?”

Eric tried to smile, but he just looked scared and resigned. “When I become famous, this night’s gonna be legend.”

“I’m glad I could be a part of it, although I wish I coulda thought of somethin’ more clever to say.”

“You’re sweet, Link.”

Link shrugged and glanced down. “I try.”

“One last kiss before I go?”

They shared a look that spoke volumes of worry and uncertainty, strength, compassion and hope, fear, bravery.

“Sure.”

————————————————————————————————————————————

Link watched Eric drive off, taillights disappearing into the darkness. He was about to go inside when he noticed a set of headlights coming up his drive. His house was really off the beaten path, so it wasn’t often someone headed that way without doing so to see the Neals. 

He wrapped his arms tight around himself, wondering if some jocks had pooled together to collectively kick his ass. He might have pretended not to be scared in front of Eric, but he felt cold all over knowing how badly this could end. One of the teens from his support group had been attacked a while back and ended up with a permanent limp because of nerve damage to his spine.

It wasn’t until the car was nearly upon him that he recognized who it belonged to and felt himself relax when Rhett pulled to a stop and came barreling out of the driver’s side looking madder than Link had ever seen him. He stumbled backwards but caught himself against the porch railing when Rhett came right up in his face.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Rhett roared, spit flying out of his mouth. “Do you know what you’ve _done_?!”

“Geez, Rhett, stop shouting, you’re gonna wake my mom.”

“Well you’re gonna break your mama’s heart if you get killed, Link. Don’t you know what people are like?! And where the _fuck_ is Eric?” he asked, glancing around as if the boy were hiding around a corner.

Link laid a shaking hand on Rhett’s arm, hoping to calm him down, but Rhett just flicked him off and started pacing in a circle.

“At least most of the kids thought it was a prank but-” He ran his hand over his buzz cut hair. “ _Why_ didn’t you tell me what you were planning, Link? I coulda stopped you from doing something so crazy.”

“It’s not crazy to just want to be who you are, Rhett!”

“But saying it out like that in front of so many people? And Eric…Eric’s gay?”He seemed to only just now seemed to be processing that particular part of the night.

“Yeah, Rhett. He’s been afraid to tell his parents and it’s just been eating away at him. He can never fully be himself here. Even if his parents know, what’s life gonna be like, _huh_? How many openly gay men do you know around Buies Creek?” He waited a beat to let Rhett answer and he spread his hands. “See? What kind of life could he have here?”

“And _you_ , Link? What about you? Now that you’ve told everyone that you’re a girl, you’re gonna take the chance to run away somewhere too?”

Link shook his head. “No, Rhett. I’m still going to State with you.”

“And if the rumor follows us there? If they’re hostile to you like they were here? If someone _hurts_ you, I-” Rhett’s voice broke and he turned away again, rubbing at his eyes and Link realized that he wasn’t angry, he was just afraid.

Link moved away from the porch and put his hands lightly against Rhett’s back before smoothing them around to wrap around the taller boys’s waist. He pressed close and laid his head between Rhett’s shoulder blades, feeling the muscles beneath his cheeks shift as Rhett breathed in and out, trying to push through the tears.

“I’m a big girl, Rhett. You can’t keep worrying about me. You’ll get wrinkles.”

Rhett chuckled and rubbed the sleeve of his jacket across his nose. “I hope so, that way you’ll see what you did to me, Link.”

Link started shifting slightly from side to side, rocking Rhett with him.

“What’re you doing?”

“Just go with it, man.”

Rhett closed his eyes, letting out another deep breath before inhaling and just letting his body sway to an invisible rhythm with Link’s. He was amazed by how quickly calm came. The night air was just cool enough that they were comfortable even in their suits while cicadas and crickets played rough music.

“Can you promise me you won’t do anything like that again?” Rhett asked softly into the quiet. “I almost had a heart attack.”

Link just laughed. “I don’t make promises I’m not sure I can keep.”


	16. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute boy at school is eye-balling Link, but he runs into Rhett instead.

Rhett watched Link move the boxes into their dorm room with concern, but he knew better than to offer help. ‘ _Nothing’s gonna happen to me_ ,’ Link had  kept promising. ‘ _Everything’s gonna be okay_ ” “ _Everything’s gonna be fine_ ”.

But shortly after prom, a few jocks who hadn’t had enough skills or money to move on to college had gathered together when word got around about the prom and they’d found Link. He’d been on his way to the convenience store to pick up some salt and pepper for his mom and they’d knocked him off his bike. They’d proceeded to pound on him until an old man noticed and started yelling, attracting attention as he ran into the closest building to call the cops.

A fractured pelvis. A concussion. Bruises that had taken _weeks_ to disappear. Rhett still couldn’t forget those days spent roaming helplessly outside of Link’s hospital room while Link’s brain struggled to mend itself and he could move past a broken few moments of time. But a month, an entire month had just pulled itself from Link’s memory.

“Link, you sure you’re good?” Rhett asked, even though he’d tried to stop himself. Link could only take being fussed over for a certain period of time before he started worrying you saw him as someone who couldn’t take care of himself.

“I’m fine,” came the words through gritted teeth.

_I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay. No one’s gonna hurt me._

Rhett knew that the area around Link’s mended pelvis still hurt and that the muscles were sore from being used after being avoided for so long. Link was in pain but he refused to give in to it.

“Stop looking at me like that!” he snapped, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he put down another box, finally closing the door behind them with a sharp kick.

“Link-”

“ _Rhett_ …”

He stared at Link for a while longer, assessing him. Arms folded across tiny waist, he was moments away from falling apart and Rhett didn’t want to push him over the edge so he pressed his lips together tight to keep himself quiet. Link flipped his hair over his shoulder and started unpacking, picking the half of the desk closest to the door. He pulled out a pencil holder and organized his desk with rigid precision. Pens in one compartment, pencils in another, a stapler here, the refill staples next to it, paper clips in their own little holder. Only every once in a while would he see a limp caused by a hasty turn, quickly masked. Knowing Link would only push himself harder if he said anything, Rhett decided to do his own unpacking so he could stop thinking about it, but his hands shook as he unfolded his sheets in order to claim the top bunk so Link wouldn’t have to climb the ladder.

“Don’t even think about it,” the quiet command whipped across the room and Rhett lowered his arms, instead fixing up the bottom bunk as his own. 

Arguing with Link wouldn’t help. The dude was stubborn when he wanted to be and a summer spent trying to convince him to go to a different school had drummed the lesson home. Link refused to give in to the prejudice that had plagued his entire life. He’d even decided to double major in social work and counseling once he got his basic courses out of the way so he could help more people like himself and Eric. Rhett didn’t see how  Link could help anyone if he wound up dead for being an idiot and sticking around North Carolina, but he would do everything in his power to make sure Link didn’t get hurt again.

Unpacking their items into their dorm room was slow work and it seemed to go even slower since they were so quiet. Rhett couldn’t stand that. Link was usually such a chatterbox but now his jaw was clenched tight in pain and not a little bit of anger.

“Link?” he called softly, moving around a few of their empty boxes. They only had about one or two to go each. They hadn’t really brought that much, just a few things they figured might be essential.

Link turned where he stood, waiting to see what fresh wave of concern and worry Rhett was going to push over him now. But instead, Rhett held out his hand, the one with the scar on the palm that had sealed their blood oath so many years ago. He sucked in a shaky breath and put his own hand out, sliding it over his friend’s, automatically forgiving him. He rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

“There was no way you were gonna be able to fold your big body to get on that upper bunk,” Link said with a half a smile, flashing sharp canines between pink lips. “That’s _me_ takin’ care o’ you.”

Rhett couldn’t help the smile that crested his cheeks and he scratched at the trail of hair he was trying to turn into a beard along his chin. Link’s hand was warm and solid in his. Things could have gone so differently that day. So much worse. He thanked God someone had found Link in time, but he was questioning the man heavily. How did someone as kind as Link get attacked on his watch? He’d asked his mother as much and she’d just quoted that the Lord gave no one more than they could handle. Needless to say, that answer didn’t satisfy him.

“Thanks,” he breathed. Still holding tight to Link’s hand so he couldn’t turn away. “And I know you don’t want to hear this, but Matt and I are gonna walk you to and from every single one of your classes.”

“Rh-”

“No,” Rhett cut him off firmly. “We’re not that far away from our hometown. Some more jackasses might get together some night and drive up here.” He swallowed convulsively, tears near the surface. He quickly pushed them down again and blinked any trace of moisture from his eyes. “I’m not saying you’re weak or that you can’t handle yourself, but _Jesus_ , three to one isn’t good odds for anybody.”

He watched Link’s jaw tighten, then slowly relax as he accepted that Rhett wasn’t gonna let up on this.

“I just…” Link let go of Rhett’s hand and rubbed his palms over his face. “I don’t want them to win, man. I don’t want them to see I’m scared or hiding or-” He shoved empty boxes out of the way with his foot and propped his butt on the surface of his desk, wincing a little when wood pressed against sore muscle. “And I _am_ scared,” Link admitted. “I just don’t wanna get comfortable being that way.”

Rhett gnawed his lower lip, wondering what he could say or do to help. There was no way he was gonna withdraw the offer of walking with Link, though.

“Maybe you could take some self-defense classes or something…”

Link rolled his eyes and Rhett realized he’d probably thought of that himself. He’d maybe even already enrolled in one and was just waiting for an okay from his next doctor’s appointment to make sure his pelvis was up to whatever stresses he may have to put on it.

Rhett brushed his sweating palm over the back of his neck.

“Thanks for worrying about me,” Link said with a little smile. “And sorry for making you worry and being a complete jerk when you do.”

Rhett chuckled lightly. “You’ve got nothin’ to apologize for, Legs.” He dodged a paperclip flung in his direction.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Is it true?”

It took a while for Rhett to realize that the thin, blonde boy leaning over his desk was speaking to him. One, it was the first day of classes. Two, it was a really weird way to introduce yourself. He frowned up into the boy’s brown eyes.

“What? Is what true?”

The guy leaned in closer. So close that Rhett could smell some kind of cherry candy on his breath.

“Your roommate.”

Rhett’s shoulder’s stiffened and he straightened in his seat, his eyes hard. “What about my roommate?” he asked carefully, looking the guy over and wondering if he could take him.

“I saw him at orientation and there was a dude next to me talking about him, said he’d gone to the same school as you guys.” For some reason, the blonde’s face reddened and he lowered his voice even further. Rhett had to strain his ears to hear him. “Gay…right?” his eyes flicked up, then down again, shifting to the sides a bit to make sure there weren’t many people close.

Rhett tilted his head. “No…”

The boy seemed to deflate right before his eyes and readjusted his backpack nervously. “You won’t tell anybody I asked about him, right?”

Blushing, fiddling, nervousness. Rhett reassessed the entire situation and felt mildly shocked. Pushing down an odd flux of irritation, Rhett folded his arms on top of his desk and asked as softly and non-threateningly as he could. “Are…you…” he cleared his throat, also glancing around. “Are _you_ …gay?…”

The boys face went completely red and he looked like he wanted to run, but Rhett grabbed onto his arm.

“Look, I don’t care if you are, well I do. I mean, it’s good if you are. Ya know I mean…Link needs some friends here, man and you probably do too.” Rhett had to admit that he felt a little weird snagging this guy, but he figured the more people hanging around Link, the safer he would be.

“What’s your name?” Rhett asked, releasing the boy from his grip and hoping he wouldn’t dart off.

“Jackson…” He shifted from foot to foot, his chest appearing to sink as his shoulders squeezed together like he was trying to disappear. The guy was small, even smaller than Link, and it had probably taken all of his courage to approach Rhett in the first place. Jesus, he didn’t look the type to want to hurt anyone or anything, but at least he could play witness if someone tried to attack Link.

“Listen, I was gonna meet Link after class so we could pick up a pizza for lunch before we head back to the dorms. Interested?”

Jackson bucked his eyes, studying Rhett for a moment before reddening all over again. He ran his hand through the fringe of blonde on the top of his head before giving a nervous smile and nod.

Rhett leaned back in his seat and grinned up at the boy, earning another quick blush. “Awesome.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Link, Jackson. Jackson, Link.”

Rhett had to admit he was a little confused when all Jackson did was give Link a little wave before turning back to Rhett and bombarding him with questions as he’d done the entire walk over.

“I thought you guys would be good friends,” Rhett grumbled when they reached the pizza joint and Jackson disappeared to the bathroom for a few minutes, leaving them alone. “But he’s barely even talked to you!”

“It’s cause he’s not interested in _me_ ,” Link said cryptically, a little smile dancing on his pink lips.

“But he was askin’ about you. I mean, I think he wanted to date you at first or somethin’, then he did a complete 180.”

Link shrugged. “Maybe he’s playing hard to get or… he just shifted his crush.”

“What?”

Link quirked an eyebrow, doing nothing to answer Rhett’s question. But when Jackson came back from the bathroom, slipping into the booth next to Rhett and scooting a little bit closer than he had to, the mirth in Link’s blue eyes did all the talking for him.

Rhett’s own aquatic orbs widened in understanding. He quickly reran their earlier conversation through his mind, but couldn’t figure out what he’d said or done to attract Jackson. His ego was getting a nice boost from all of the attention, but he couldn’t help worrying about how to let Jackson down easy. Rhett was barely able to enjoy his pizza when it came cause Link and Jackson kept shooting looks at him. Link’s was one of pure sadistic glee and Jackson’s contained a bit of hopeful nervousness. He was cute, like a little golden lab, but Rhett didn’t figure it was right to lead him on. It was hard to kick puppies, though.

They ended up finishing the pizza and heading to another class without clearing up the misunderstanding and Rhett somehow found himself agreeing to walk Jackson to his next class even though they’d already parted from Link. Maybe it was the eyebrows, always kinda scrunched in a bit of a plea. Or maybe his eyes, that kind of warm shade of brown that automatically made you feel like you cared more than you should. Link had similar eyes, kinda angled downwards at the corners. Sad but inviting.

Rhett scrubbed a hand through his hair and said with some relief. “Well, here you go,” he said, gesturing to the door of Jackson’s communication’s course.

“Thanks for walking me,” Jackson said, his backpack strap in a death grip, his smile so wide and happy that Rhett couldn’t help but smile back. Link’s smile was also like that, impossible to ignore.

Rhett blinked and stepped away from him. “Well, um, I gotta get to my own class, dude. It was nice hanging out.”

When Jackson practically lit up, he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“Maybe we could do it again sometime.”

His mouth was on autopilot, moving ahead of his brain. “Yeah. Sure…Okay?…”

Jackson bounced on his toes and disappeared into his classroom leaving Rhett to wonder if he was suddenly dating a guy.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“You are,” Link laughed, putting rollers into his hair for the night to keep the wave in his hair both manageable and neat.

Rhett groaned and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “ _Dang_ it.”

“He seems like a nice guy and he’s totally your type.”

“What?!” Rhett demanded, jerking up.

“Petite. Little. You like tiny things you feel like you can protect. You’re like a,” Link’s hands flailed in the air, trying to find the word. “You’re like a mama bird or something.”

“But, I mean, I’m not gay,” he said in exasperation.

Link just twitched one shoulder in a shrug, happy to have something to take his mind off dark scary shapes in the night and crowds of muscle-bound men lookin’ to kick the ever-loving tar out of him. He was jumpy and nervous and he hated it. He was secretly glad Rhett had pressed him to always have someone walking him to and from buildings, he would have felt like a coward if he’d had to ask for it himself.

“I’m _not_ ,” Rhett insisted, pulling Link out of his thoughts.

Link looked over at his friend, about to chuckle again, but saw the confusion plain as day on his friend’s face. Leaving the last of his rollers behind, he moved over to sit next to Rhett on his bunk and really focused on him. Rhett was rubbing his hands together in agitation and his breath seemed to be getting stuck somewhere in his chest.

“It’s okay if you are” he said cautiously.

“But…I’m not…”

“Do you think Jackson’s cute?” he probed, watching Rhett closely.

“I mean…who wouldn’t? He’s like a puppy or somethin’. I-” Rhett shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Rhett said firmly, then with some hesitation in his voice. “Yeah?”

“It’s okay if you’re not gay too, Rhett. It’s okay to think another man is cute. It’s okay to want to look out for him without being attracted to him. It’s-”

“I like his smile…and his eyes…” It came out as softly as an exhalation, but the words were on his tongue. “And he’s so small…”

Link put an arm around Rhett’s shoulders and squeezed gently. “It’s okay to want to find out, just be up front with him about it though. Don’t go leavin’ a trail of broken hearts and neurosis in your wake.”

Rhett tried to laugh, but his throat just didn’t seem to work properly. Link’s own puppy-dog eyes were looking at him with compassion and he fought the wave of fear and admonitions threatening to roll over him. Guys don’t like other guys. Guys don’t like other guys. Guys don’t like other guys.

His hands tightened like claws on his jeans and he forced in some air. Guys don’t think about the way another man’s body seems to generate so much heat. Guys don’t think about firm lips in a thin line or the angular planes of a handsome face.

“Rhett?” Link asked with some apprehension clogging his voice. “You okay?” he dropped a hand on top of Rhett’s and his friend went completely still. “Rhett?”

Guys don’t like the rough feeling of their best friend’s hand wrapped around their own. No matter how perfectly they seemed to fit.


	17. Misplaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is feeling lonely at college so Rhett brings him out with his friends.

Link never wanted to admit that he struggled, but he did. Any time he saw someone in a relationship or enjoying life in college, he would question himself again. When one of his professors had pulled him aside and talked about how his appearance could affect seeking a future career in social services, he’d wonder if he was doing the right thing. If he just cut his hair, people would stop talking. If he’d just dress like the other boys. Stop wearing eyeliner. How could he ever help anyone if people’s first reaction was one of fear and anger? But how could he be a role model if he hid away inside a shell of Charles Lincoln Neal? 

He spent a lot of time in his dorm room that first semester, afraid to walk around alone or trust new people with his secret. He was also getting a little tired of Matt’s company. The guy was nice and all, but he always talked about some girl in his philosophy class he had a crush on. Link could swear on the bible Matt had talked about her knee caps for at least a full hour one day.

Link looked at the digital alarm clock they’d placed on top of their dresser. 11:00pm. _Hmph._

Deciding that he couldn’t spend the rest of his life waiting for someone to hold his hand, although the caution was warranted, Link grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and left the dorm room, leaving a note for Rhett on his half of the desk just in case he didn’t make it back before Rhett. Link usually had to wait for one friend or another just to head over to McDonald’s for a coffee or if he just wanted to take a late night walk to blow off some steam. In order to play it safe tonight he twisted his hair into a tight bun at the nape of his neck and slid a pencil through it to hold it in place. It had taken Amber a full summer to teach him that trick and now his hands knew it by heart.

Once outside, Link made sure to stick to the puddles of light on his way to the parking lot. It was smarter to drive the few minutes rather than walk them. He wasn’t going to throw caution _entirely_ to the wind.

Link felt freer than he had in months when he rolled his windows down and blasted his music as loud as he wanted on the way to McDonalds and back.

Returning to the dorm, he had an idea that he wanted to bounce off Rhett, but his friend still wasn’t back from wherever he’d gone with Jackson, so instead he pulled out his journal and wrote it all out before he forgot. He wrote down any reference materials he would need, how much it would cost to purchase his own website, and a few other little details to check over later. Coming up with the name and the tag-line had been easy, but pulling it off would be difficult and time-consuming. An on-line help site where LGBT people could meet to discuss issues or find information otherwise unavailable to them. There were so few and they had such a sterile feeling. He would need to figure out how to make it a safe environment for kids and adults alike. Maybe he could ask one of his professors for any help or insight. He chewed his thumbnail, then grimaced. He’d forgotten he’d painted them the other day and the bitter taste nipped at his tongue.

He looked up when the door opened and Rhett finally came loping in. His face appeared troubled as it often did when he came back from seeing Jackson. It’d been weeks and Rhett still didn’t seem to know exactly what was going on with himself.

“Hey, man,” Link said, pulling Rhett’s attention from whatever thoughts he was rifling through.

“Oh, hey…” Rhett dropped his backpack on the floor and rolled his long body onto his bunk. He didn’t look up for any deep discussions on Link’s plan.

“Wussup with you?” Link asked instead of mentioning his idea.

Rhett shook his head and slung an arm over his eyes. “Nothin’.” He chewed on his bottom lip, tasting the cherry lip balm Jackson liked to coat his lips with to ‘keep them soft’ he’d said.

“ _Nothin’_?” Link tossed back at him. “I can practically see steam coming out o’ your years you’re working your brain so hard.”

A shoulder rose and fell in a shrug.

“Rhett, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Rhett seemed to struggle with the words for a little while before he finally spoke. He kept his face angled away though. “I think Jackson…I think he’s starting to want more than the kissin’ and I just - I don’t think I can do that.”

“Cause you don’t feel that way about him or cause you can’t bring yourself to touch another dude’s-”

“Yeah-” Rhett cut him off, not even able to hear it. “I still feel weird about it. I’m attracted to him n’ all, but I can’t get past this way of thinkin’. That if I touch him, I’m doing something… _bad_.”

Link compressed his lips and didn’t speak immediately. He felt like he was getting a crash course in his chosen profession and he wasn’t doing well at it. “Umm…have you talked about this with him?”

Rhett nodded.

“And what’d he say about it?”

Rhett thought back. “He said it was fine if we waited a little longer, until I was more comfortable with stuff, ya know. But I’m starting to think he’s still staying with me because I’m the only other not so straight guy he knows on campus. I can tell he’s getting impatient and we really don’t have that much in common…”

“Hmm…” Link turned back to his notepad, now just tapping his pencil against the paper. He didn’t know if he was even capable of helping Rhett through this, how was he supposed to help a bunch of struggling teens? There was so much more that went into this than just discovering what your sexuality or your preferences were. There were hangups brought on by environment and upbringing. How the hell was he supposed to help with that?

Link hadn’t even fully settled into himself no matter what he told Rhett. He was still trying to figure out what it meant to be a girl in a guys body and how he could ever walk around as the woman he wanted to be with the hard ball of fear and trepidation that settled in his stomach whenever he thought about wearing something more feminine than his tight jeans, shorts, and off the shoulder tops outside. He liked to pretend he was strong, but at the end of the day he knew he was putting up a facade.

“What about you, Link?”

“Hmmm?” He turned in his seat. “What about me?”

“Have you ever…you know?”

Link shook his head and Rhett sighed in some relief.

“I was kinda hoping you could give me some tips or something, but at least I know I’m not alone in this.” Instead of hiding his face now, Rhett rolled onto his stomach and stuffed a pillow under his head. “What’s kept _you_ from doing it?”

Link spread his arms. “Lack of partners maybe?”

“Really?” Rhett narrowed his eyes at his friend. He didn’t think that even if a bunch of guys were throwing themselves at Link he would just start sleeping around. Link guarded his true self too closely for that and probably thought sex meant a lot more than a quick excuse for release.

“I haven’t really met anyone too into me rockin my high heels and daisy dukes.”

“They would if they ever saw them legs.”

Link giggled. “You’re always talking about my legs! You got some kinda fetish or something?”

Rhett’s face brightened. “Maybe,” he said with a saucy smile and waggled brows.

Link extended one leg and stroked a finger tip down it, sliding the loose pajama pants away from the smooth skin. “Well, eyes off, buddyroll. These legs are for the future, Mr. Neal.”

“ _You’re_ Mr. Neal.”

This earned him an eye roll. “You know what I mean.”

Rhett grinned, glad Link had pulled him out of his funk.

“We’ve spent too much time moping around.” He said, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “This was supposed to be like the best year ever! No parents! No curfews!…well, the campus curfew…but I’m sure it’ll be easy to get around that. We should go _do_ something!”

Link pointedly looked at the clock and Rhett popped to his feet.

“No. Don’t look at that thing. We’re going to stay up all night tonight. _Out._ Let’s grab Matt, Gregg,…Davis…”

“Jackson?” Link suggested.

Rhett grimaced, not really willing to revisit that just yet. “Nah. No dates. Just a bunch of folks lettin’ loose! Come on!” He commanded, mouth wide and happy. Link felt like it’d been a while since he’d seen him that way.

“Let’s get some girls too,” Link said. “I’m not really up for a sausage fest.”

“Whatever.”

They gathered some people that they knew and headed into the forest bordering their campus, laughing and giggling as they kept shushing each other when someone stepped on a branch or let out an expletive after a limb snapped back and hit someone in the face or chest.

“This cooler is _heavy_ ,” Davis complained, helping Matt carry a dark red and white chest.

“Yeah, well, I had to bring enough beer for everybody.”

“You brought _beer_?” Rhett groaned, remembering the odd feeling it had given him the one time he’d drank it. He hadn’t revisited it since. “Any sodas?”

“Nope,” Matt said cheerfully. “What’s the point of sneaking out if we’re not going to get drunk too?”

“Yeah!” Gregg agreed. “Break one rule, you might as well break ‘em all.”

Link lifted his eyes to the heavens at Gregg’s wisdom. The guy was always throwing out stuff like that. He couldn’t understand how Gregg and Rhett were such good friends, but they seemed to work somehow. He knew Rhett liked to play video games over in Gregg’s room and sometimes he would go and hangout too when he was bored.

“Oooh, here we go!” Stephanie called, tossing long blond hair over a thin shoulder.

The group gathered at the sound of her voice to find her in a big clearing with a few large rocks strewn about as if they’d shifted of their own accord from nearby mountains. Rebecca hooted and scaled one of the biggest ones, shouting in victory when she reached the top, posing with a fist on her hip. Everyone cheered for her, then tried to climb rocks of their own, howling loudly at the moon if they succeeded and complaining when they didn’t.

A few of the less exuberant people quickly gave up and gathered around the cooler full of beers, passing drinks around. A guy named Drew broke out some cigarettes but shifted closer to the rim of trees in consideration of everyone who started grumbling about the choking scent and stinging smoke.

Link, having scaled his own rock a few times, settled down on it, happy to feel the wind on his face. He shifted forward when he heard someone come up behind him. The scent let him know that it was Rhett before his friend spoke.

“This was a good idea,” Link said, turning to look at him in the moonlight.

Rhett settled down behind him and slung an arm around his shoulder, passing him a beer while he was at it.

“Aw, come on, man, these are gross.”

“Maybe they’ll be better this year,” Rhett said optimistically.

“One whole year,” Link scoffed. “Big difference.” He twisted the top off anyway and sucked down about a forth of it. His taste buds complained.  “Ugh.”

Rhett’s arm snugged a little closer around his shoulders until Link was practically resting back against him. He took a long swallow of his own drink and looked down at their friends below.

“This semester hasn’t exactly been going the way I planned,” Rhett reflected, his chin strap scuffing against the top of Link’s ear as he spoke. Link giggled and shifted sideways a bit to escape from the tickling sensation, but kept his back against Rhett’s chest. It was a fairly cold November night and his jacket wasn’t as thick as it should’ve been. “I was gonna date the hottest girl, maybe show off my guitar skills somewhere, ya know, be more involved. But here I am dating Jackson and trying to just…figure things out.”

Link nodded. “I thought I was gonna be able to express myself. And just _be_. But I’m being walked to class on a daily basis. I’ve only spoken to a few people in my classes. I’m nervous around the straight guys and I don’t want any of the girls to think I’m leadin’ ‘em on by just tryna be their friend.” He took a deeper drink of his beer, liking the way it kind of made his mind buzz. “Maybe things’ll be better next semester, huh?”

“Maybe.” Rhett finished his beer then called down to Gregg for two more.

“Yeah.” Link traded off his empty bottle for a full one, tilting his head back into the crook of Rhett’s shoulder.

“You two a couple?!” Stephanie called up, spotting them in the darkness. Her brows were arched and her mouth pinched up into a smile at the outer corners.

Link made to move away from Rhett, but Rhett easily held him in place with the heavy arm around Link’s shoulders, hand pressed into his chest.

“And if we are?” he said with a challenging grin.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Link hissed nervously.

“I was gonna say you guys look cute together,” Stephanie said without a blink. “Not as cute as Matt and Gregg, though.”

The two boys in question tossed bottle caps from opened beers at her, causing her to shriek and cover her face as she ducked behind Rebecca.  

“What about me and Drew?” Davis asked, wrapping his arms around the taller boy and pressing his cheek against his as if they were posing for a photo. “Wouldn’t we just make the most precious babies. I mean, my red hair and those blue eyes?” he pressed a hand to his heart and pretended to faint.

Link watched the rest of the hijinks in surprise. No one was even talking about or looking at him and Rhett anymore.

“Cool bunch,” Rhett said, pressing his nose into Link’s hair. He’d felt the way the smaller boy had tensed and how his pulse quickened when he thought he’d have to explain himself.

“Yeah…” He relaxed again.

“I was totally gonna fight ‘er if she said something different, though,” Rhett claimed. “I think I can take her even if she looks kinda scrappy.”

Link laughed. “Nah, she woulda’ kicked your ass.”

“She doesn’t even come up to my nipples, man.”

“Easier for her to punch you in the balls.”

“Pff,” Rhett sputtered. “The way you say balls.”

“What about it?” Link asked, turning his head to look up at his friend.

He frowned when Rhett just looked down at him, face frozen mid-laugh. They were barely an inch apart, so Link could see a myriad of emotions playing across the blond’s face. “You look stupid up close,” Link smirked.

Rhett shook his head as if waking up from something and laughed at himself, but there was a bit of a bitter tinge to it. “You hold onto the word and kinda roll it around in your mouth,” he explained. “B-a-ulz.”

Link chuckled at the repetition and said it a few times himself, realizing Rhett was right. “Dang.” He went to drink from his bottle again and realized it was empty. “Is it just me or does beer taste different in the fresh air.”

“It’s just you,” Rhett put down his bottle and threw his other arm around Link, crossing his arms over his chest and planting his face in his shoulder.

“Dude…”

“I think I should break up with Jackson,” he murmured, baritone voice vibrating through Link. “I don’t think it’s working out.”

“Cause he’s a man?”

Rhett shook his head. “It’s not that. Well, not completely. I just think I’m dating him for the wrong reasons. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over-”

“The fact that he also has a penis?” Link asked, giggling at the word, probably a lot harder than he should have. Might’ve been the beer going to his head. He was starting to wonder if he was a lightweight.

Rhett rolled his eyes, but nodded. “Maybe I should just wait until he breaks up with me or something though. Might do his self-confidence some good. He keeps saying I won’t get intimate with him ‘cause I don’t like his body.”

Link shrugged. “Up to you.” He let out a puff of air to move the strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes. “So, no more experimenting for you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Link squirmed when he felt Rhett’s breath on his neck, then the cold tip of Rhett’s nose against his skin. A high-pitched laugh escaped his throat and Rhett pulled back, breathing funny.

Rhett released him from his tight hold and moved away from Link. He slid down the rock ‘til he hit the ground. “I’m gonna see if the guys are up for a game of tag or something. I think I need to burn this drink outta my system. You wanna play?”

Link leaned back and put his arms under his head. “Nah. I think I like the buzz.” He closed his eyes, feeling sleepy.

“Don’t go to sleep up there! What if you roll off and hit your head on something? You _know_ how much you move around.”

Link griped about Rhett’s overbearing attitude, but moved down to the ground. “Better?” he sassed.

“Awww, you guys really _do_ make a cute couple,” Gregg laughed before Rhett could fire something back. “Ya’ll shoulda seen ‘em last week. Rhett came over to play Streetfighter and Link just sat at his feet cheering him on.” He gave a melodramatic sigh. “A-dorable.”

“You got Streetfighter?!” Drew exclaimed, showing some life for the first time in over an hour. “Can I play?!”

“Sure.” Gregg loved kicking people’s butt at the game. The more the merrier. “I got tons of stuff.”

The conversation pretty much moved on from there. Link watched Rhett play a few rounds of tag, and he tried to stay up all night like Rhett had made him promise to, but sleep just called to him so sweetly, so he smiled and closed his eyes. He got a little cold for a while, then there was warmth all around him like a blanket. He snuggled into and fell into a deeper sleep undisturbed as everyone else continued to drink and laugh around him


	18. Roomies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link gets a call from an old friend that gets Rhett up-in-arms.

Rhett stared at Link getting dressed for bed across their dorm. Some nights he wore only boxers and Rhett had trouble looking at Link at those times for some reason, his chest just seemed off limits to Rhett’s eyes. Other nights, he would throw on one of his night gowns or a tank top and Rhett felt like he could breathe again, even when those odd little shorts Link wore made an appearance. Tonight it was the boxer option. Rhett had questioned him about it before; why some nights he lived as a man and why other’s as a woman. Link would always just shrug and say something about figuring it out.

Link leaned over his desk to bring his face closer to the thin mirror he’d attached to the wall above his desk and brushed some kind of cream over his face, massaging it into his cheeks and neck. His back stretched long and lean and so gleamingly sooth.

Rhett averted his eyes and tried to turn his attention back to his college algebra textbook, trying to refocus on copying and solving problems into his notebook, but soon his gaze drifted over again. He’d found himself doing that a lot lately. The guy was beautiful, there was no denying that, in his quirky, goofy, ‘figuring-it-out’ kinda way.

“What?” Link asked, pulling Rhett out of his thoughts. “You’ve been drilling a hole in the back-a my head since I got back from the shower. Do I like have a bald spot or something?” he joked, running a hand through the thick mane of his ponytail.

Rhett just shook his head dumbly, trying not to stare at Link’s nipples when he turned around. It was crazy how attractive something could become when kept away from the eyes long enough. All he wanted to do was look at them when they were finally visible. He clamped his teeth over his lower lip.

“I was just wondering what you’re going to do about the summer, I guess. Only a few more weeks and you still haven’t been accepted at any of the child service internship positions you’ve applied for,” he wanted to kick himself. He knew this was a sore subject. Whenever Link went on an interview and was interviewed by a male, they always seemed to sense something about him and never give him a callback, while the women working in human resources seemed few and far between and they tended to just hire the females which there was an abundance of in Link’s chosen field.

Link crossed his arms, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular as he thought through his predicament. Luckily it was only later in his major that he _really_ needed to be searching for something, but he wanted the experience now, to be around people helping people.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get a baby-sitting job or something,” his nose scrunched at the thought, though if he had a mother for a reference he might have a better chance at getting an internship later.

“Want me to see if my mom knows somebody?”

“Sure.” But it sounded a little defeated and Rhett wished he hadn’t brought it up just to keep Link from digging into why he was staring.

“I’ve also been thinking…”

“Yeah?”

“You want to move off campus next year?”

Link perked up for a moment, then deflated. “Ugh. I won’t have the money for that. No one’ll hire me for anything!”

Rhett wanted to go to him, but he didn’t feel confident in his actions. He’d been having the craziest dreams about Link for months and worried he’d end up doing something that would freak Link out if he actually touched him. His friend was already a little leery of the wrestling matches Rhett kept springing on him out of the blue. He just loved - god! He just loved feeling Link wriggle around in his hands. The thought brought color to his cheeks and he turned his eyes back to his notebook paper.

“Maybe… maybe I can get my dad to find you something. I don’t know. We’ll figure it out. But it’s a lot less expensive if we live off campus. Plus we can have like, real parties you know. Over night stuff. And you won’t have to use the communal shower. I know how that bothers you even though you don’t complain about it.”

He risked a glance up to find Link giving him a small smile. “That would be nice,” Link murmured. “I mean, I like to appreciate a nice body every once in a while but-” he shivered, “-not really something you want to be confronted with every night, ya know?”

Rhett laughed. “I know what you mean,” he agreed heartily. It would be nice to have a little privacy. And he could stop thinking about all of those guys eying Link. “So you want to go look for places tomorrow?”

“Wow, that early?!”

“Yeah. Places near campus are gonna go quick. We gotta be fast, man.” He jumped up from the bed despite his best intentions and grabbed Link’s arms, causing him to flinch in surprise, then giggle as he grappled him to the floor. “Faster than that. I swear you don’t have any reflexes.”

“Well, I didn’t know you were gonna attack me!” Link protested, trying to squirm out from underneath his much larger friend. He pressed his hands against Rhett’s chest and as usual, tried to turn onto his stomach to wriggle out, but that predictably, never worked. He felt all of Rhett’s weight collapse down on him and let out a heavy sigh at being caught in this position once again.

“I don’t think you know how reflexes work,” Rhett rumbled into his ear. _Mistake_ , his mind told him, even as he realized it for himself. Link seemed to fit under him like a glove, each bump and ridge of him molded to each soft and hard plane of Rhett.

“Shut up. Get off me,” Link whined.

“I’m dead,” Rhett said, blood rushing around his body as Link squirmed beneath him. Jesus, he needed to stop this. He needed to find someone to date so he would stop fixating on his best friend. There were too many complicated emotions wrapped up in what he felt for Link. There was just too much history there for him to trust what he was feeling as attraction or some misplaced affection, or even frustration because lord knows he didn’t have anyone to release that energy on. Anyone other than Link who shared this small space with him and just looked so warm and inviting and-

He rolled off and shoved himself to his feet, crawling back onto his bed. Link remained where he was, face near the floor, red with anger. He seemed to be mentally counting himself to a calmer plane of existence.

“I swear to God!” Link huffed, shifting to his back and glaring up at his best friend. “My next boyfriend’s gonna be a linebacker and I’m gonna get him to die on you for like half an hour, see how much you like it!”

Rhett feigned a stunned expression. “Is that some kinda fantasy of yours of something? You want to watch some big sweaty Neanderthal get it on with me?”

Link blinked at him, then rolled his eyes, trying to disguise the upward tilt of his lips by standing. “Maybe,” he smirked, causing Rhett to turn red as an apple.

He quickly cleared his throat and gathered his books. “I’m gonna actually head over to Gregg’s for a while. He’s got this class with me and maybe he can help with this assignment.” There was no way he could focus with Link standing there and being all…well… _Link_. He didn’t bother to organize anything before sliding it all haphazardly into his backpack and ducking out of the room.

Link watched his lanky roommate beat a hasty retreat and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, sighing. Rhett was a good distraction from the dark thoughts circling his mind like preying vultures. He always tried to cheer himself up by telling himself the first year didn’t matter and that the attitudes he received from many of his peers and professors was nothing compared to how his father had treated him so many years ago. But that wasn’t true. It hurt. It was hurt compounded upon hurt. Hanging out with their tight knit group of friends they’d managed to cultivate after that wild run into the woods did help slightly, but everything else was like trying to fit into some mold that scraped and chafed.

He turned back and found the eyes of his reflection, smooth skin and curling hair contrasting sharply with angular bones and the scruff of an incoming beard. No wonder no one knew how to treat him. He looked like some androgynous cast-away. Neither here, nor there. Neither this nor that. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be an either or. It was fun being a both, but he hated there were only certain places that was allowed, like the confines of his room.

Link couldn’t seem to find the energy to climb onto the top bunk, so just rolled onto Rhett’s instead, knowing he wouldn’t mind and figuring Rhett might stay over at Gregg’s overnight anyway since he’d done it occasionally throughout the semester.

He pulled his hair from its ponytail and let it cascade around his shoulders, shifting the strands through his fingers, wondering what it would feel like to finally have someone caress him in that gentle way. He closed his eyes and let his hands drift down his chest, the flatness another thing he hadn’t figured out. _Did he mind it? Did he want something more? Would he ever have the money to seriously consider that option?_ They hadn’t had the money to really think about hormone therapy when he was younger, so he’d settled into his body. Or at least he thought he had, until his dad, that military camp…and Ethan.

Link pressed his eyelids more firmly into his cheeks, dispelling those thoughts, letting his hands drift further, to his narrow waist. 

This was something he did every other night, exploring his body, finding what he loved and hated, what was pure human insecurity verses what was and wasn’t part of his identity. What defined him?

He liked his waist. He loved his bellybutton.

He stroked down his hipbones to his thighs, then to the part of himself that caused the most confusion. He rested his hand over it, blinking up at the bottom of his bunk. He knew there were surgeries that could be done, but he just didn’t know. Was it better to be caught between? He wondered, not for the first time.

Even if he physically transformed himself would he ever really be satisfied?

 _Will I ever know for sure?_ He wondered.

One thing he did know was that he couldn’t just label himself as gay and move on. It just didn’t fit.

He ran his hands over his body again, telling himself what he loved. What worked for him. What made him feel less this, more that.

When his fingertips brushed over his arms again, he mentally made a note that there was a least one thing he was gonna save for. Shaving his body was a pain-staking process and he’d heard about a laser hair removal process that was practically permanent. He hoped that he’d be able to one day have enough money to get the treatment. It would save him a butt load of shower time and he could finally get rid of those pesky, hard to reach hairs on his lower back.

———————————————————————————————————————————

“Just do him,” Gregg suggested in his usual straight-forward way. The guy never liked to beat around the bush when going through it was easier.

“He’s my _best_ friend,” Rhett stressed, struggling to block Gregg’s onslaught of punches in the game.

“Which means it’ll probably be even better,” he said with a shrug. “I heard it’s always better when there’s feelings involved.”

“Not when about ninety-nine percent of those feelings are confusion.”

Gregg shook his head, kicked Rhett’s butt, then picked another character so he could do it again. “You broke up with Jackson cause you supposedly couldn’t handle the dick-”

“Geez!”

“But now you’re lusting after your roommie? Well, let me let you in on a little secret, bro. Link’s got one-a those dinga-lings too.”

“I know!”

Rhett groaned when his character dramatically flew backwards across the screen and landed like a stone on his back. Round one lost. Seemed like no matter how much he played this game, he couldn’t get better than Gregg.

“Saw it last time I was in the shower actually and it wasn’t bad.”

Rhett turned angry eyes on his friend and got a knowing shake of the head in return.

“Just do him,” he said again. “Then you can go all donkey kong on everybody else tryna get a good look at him. And don’t think I haven’t seen other dudes trying to look. Well, trying _not_ to look,” Gregg corrected with a tilt of his head. “They won’t admit that Link is a pretty welcome addition to the men’s dorm room, if ya get my drift.”

Rhett slumped on the dark beanbag Gregg used as his ‘guest chair’ and placed his controller on the floor. “He doesn’t think of me like that, though. He keeps saying I’m like his big brother, so then I end up feeling creepy for having dreams about him.”

“Oh god, dude! T.M.I.!”

“Seriously?” Rhett said incredulously. “After everything _you_ just said?!”

Gregg shrugged. “It’s different hearing it outta someone else.” His shoulders shook. “Man, I wonder what Link would do if he knew what you were thinking?”

Rhett’s cheeks flared red, imagining Link turning to him with open arms and saying he felt the same way, then he quickly cooled imagining Link telling him he just thought of him as a brother, not anything else. Never anything else. He sucked in a deep breath, pressing his hands between his knees. “I hate this.”

Gregg was going to say something else flippant, but after seeing the look on Rhett’s face, he changed his mind. He wasn’t the best at being sympathetic, which is why he figured Rhett liked to talk stuff out with him, but he wasn’t a dick either. Well, not entirely.

“And I can’t tell him cause he’s already got enough stuff on his mind. He doesn’t need to worry about my stupid crush too.”

“Psh, yeah. A crush,” Gregg said under his breath, rolling his eyes. Watching the two together was like seeing some kinda well-trained dance team. They just seemed to fit. Maybe years of friendship could do that. Or maybe it was just because it was them. He didn’t know.

He shifted back to the character screen, listening to Rhett drone on and on about how perfect Link was in the background for a few minutes before he snapped and demanded Rhett either pick another character or leave his room so he could not do his homework in peace. Rhett left, feeling a little put out. Wondering yet again why he liked hanging out with the pseudo-gamer.

Rhett felt butterflies the size of airplanes fluttering around in his stomach when he reached their dormroom door and listened for any signs that Link might still be awake on the other side. He heard nothing and couldn’t help but breathe in relief. It was short-lived though when he quietly shuffled in and turned to find the brunette sprawled across his bedsheets, Rhett’s pillow tucked firmly beneath his smooth cheek.

Rhett’s heart stuttered in his chest, considering the implications.

_Did Link miss him? Did he feel the same way? Did he love being surrounded by Rhett’s scent as much as Rhett liked being surrounded by Link’s?!_

All of this and more passed through Rhett’s mind as he gently put down his back pack and kicked off his shoes, padding across the room in socked feet. His fingers flexed as he neared the bed, longing to reach out and finally, _finally_ brush his fingers through that dark hair.

“This is crazy,” he whispered. He settled his weight on the edge of the bed as lightly as possible so as not to disturb his friend, even though he knew Link slept like a rock and someone breaking through the heavy oak door probably wouldn’t rouse him. He scrubbed his wet palms dry and hesitantly, traced one finger around the curve of Link’s cheek.

A gasp pulled itself out of his chest at the sensation and he quickly flung himself away, feeling so wrong. Dirty, somehow.

He caressed his hand against his chest. Guys don’t long to touch their best friend. Guys just don’t do that. Guys don’t think their friends have pretty lips and want to kiss them.

Rhett crouched down against the door, realizing that there was something wrong with him. He was shaking, scared. Even worse than after he’d spent a few moments with Jackson.

Guys don’t date other guys.

It was like a litany, going off in his head.

“What the hell?” Rhett hissed, pressing his palms to his temples, staring wide-eyed into the semi-darkness of their room.

When he was with Jackson, he’d tried to figure out where the words came from, why they were seated inside him so deeply. His father had always said men had certain roles, but he’d never said anything like the the droning words in his head. _Where did it come from?_ He wondered, wrapping his arms around himself and shutting down those wild thoughts he had for Link again, finally feeling like he could breathe.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett ended up convincing Link to bring Gregg in on the apartment hunt that week and they all moved in together later that summer. Gregg made an excellent buffer against his feelings since he always seemed to be around.  His private frustrations easier to release now that he had his own room. He found a nice girl and started dating her and Link seemed to turn his focus elsewhere. He bought some kind of camera and stayed in his room a lot. Sometimes Rhett could swear he heard him talking to himself about something. Another year came and went without incident though it seemed something was weighing heavily on his best friend. There was a shadow behind his bubbling laughter and his smiles seemed to fall as quickly as they came. Rhett wanted to ask him about it, but knew he wouldn’t get a straight answer no matter how he pressed, so instead he did what he could to just be around sometimes and make Link laugh.

They tried to move to a bigger place with a guy Gregg suggested, named Tim, in the start of their Junior year but just a few days of getting to know him, they realized that while he was nice, he was a total slob when it came to common areas, so they stuck to the tried and true trio.

Link managed to get an internship that summer which he was released from for reasons he wouldn’t go into with Rhett, he’d just disappeared into his room again. 

Once he’d brought a guy home and that had ended up with Link falling into the same, worrisome stretch of silence. When he reemerged, he was wearing a dark, gray dress that Rhett just couldn’t take his eyes off of, black heels clacking against their wooden floor as he stood in the entrance to the living room.

“ _Damn_!” Gregg wolf-whistled, bringing a smile to Link’s focused face, dark lashes lowering over shy eyes. He posed in the doorway, turning in each direction and giggling at Gregg cheering for him. Rhett wished he could do the same, but his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Where you going lookin’ like _that_?”

Rhett couldn’t take his eyes off Link’s legs, so it took him a while to notice the little luggage bag dragging behind his friend. His eyes quickly darted up to his friend’s face.

“I’m taking a little roadtrip to see a friend.”

“Who?” Rhett managed to rasp.

“Eric. He’s playing a few gigs in Memphis and-”

“No.” The words snapped out sharp and hard from Rhett’s throat.

Link’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Excuse me?”

“After that son of a-”

Gregg put a hand on Rhett’s arm and said something to him in a low voice. The mottled color finally drained from his skin and he plucked at his pants leg. “I just don’t like the guy much after he disappeared on you, man. You put yourself on the line for him and he just left you to the woovs.”

Link smiled a little, shifting his bangs out of his eyes. He thought it was adorable that no matter how big Rhett was or how smart, there were still some things that always remained the same. “I probably would’ve gotten my ass kicked with or without that stupid stunt, and you know that. Not many jocks in that town hold a lot of love for me.”

“They’re just mad they can’t get someone as hot as you,” Gregg threw in.

Link laughed, feeling better than he had in days. Rhett was being his usual over-protective self and Gregg was just Gregg. His smile brightened. “Wanna go with me? That way I we can spell each other on the drive and Eric already got a hotel room set up for me, so you guys won’t have to do anything but grab a few clothes. I need a minute to change anyway, I just wanted to see what you guys thought about my new dress. I plan to knock at least one Memphis man off his feet while I’m there.”

“Believe me, you won’t have a problem with that,” Gregg said. “I wish I could be there to see it, but my boss scheduled me for some shifts this weekend. Rhett can probably go though, his weekend schedule is pretty clear.’

Rhett fully realized the feeling of being thrown under the bus. He usually had a third wheel between himself and Link for a reason. Instead of saying anything though, he just gave a tight nod and Link started vibrating in excitement.

“It’s been forever since we rode anywhere together further than back home to Buies Creek,” Link enthused. He disappeared back into his room, still talking out loud to himself about how much fun they were gonna have.

Rhett glared over at Gregg who just blinked back innocently. “It’s been a year. I thought you’d doused the fire in your pants. Guess I was wrong…sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all.

Rhett grunted to his feet and headed to his room, probably about to pack for what could possibly be the worst trip of his life.


	19. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link set off on a trip to Memphis to see an old friend and tensions are higher than ever.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Link finally said, an hour into the drive and missing Rhett’s voice crashing along with his to the music. “You’re gonna get a bald spot in your chin strap you keep that up.”

Rhett had been stroking at his beard, or the struggling strip of it, as he gazed out the window just admiring the wall of mountains.

“I was thinking. Something you don’t really shut your trap long enough to do.”

Link narrowed his eyes. “Wow. Harsh.”

Rhett sighed. “You know I was kiddin’.”

“Yeah…I know.” Knowing didn’t stop it from hurting sometimes though. “Look, if you don’t want to see Eric or you think you’re not gonna have fun, it’s not too late to turn back…”

He waited for Rhett to immediately disagree, but the blonde seemed lost in thought again. Link flexed his legs and gripped the steering wheel tighter. There’d been a strange tension in their friendship for a while now and it seemed to build between the silences. He noticed it was more prominent when they were alone. Rhett was his usual self around Gregg, but sometimes around Link he acted as if he didn’t know how to treat him anymore. He wondered if it had something to do with them spending so much time apart over the past few months and hoped this trip would bridge whatever gap had been forged.

“I thought we could hit up a few clubs while we were there. I mean, this can kind of be our celebration! We’re twenty-one. And _single_!” He bounced his eyebrows toward his friend and received a scowl rather than a playful tilt of the lips. Link shifted around in his seat.

“You’ve been grumpy since we left Raleigh. You hungry or somethin’?”

Rhett planted his chin on his fist and turned his attention back to the window. “Nah.”

Link hated to ask it, but he did anyway. “Ya mad at me for some reason?”

A hand knocked briefly against his shoulder and Rhett said more gently, “Nah.”

“Then?…” Link asked carefully.

“Just ignore me for a little while,” Rhett suggested. “And I’ll hit the harmonies later.”

Link smiled over at him. “Yeah?”

Rhett couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Link was asleep in the passenger seat, mouth agape and head tucked up against the glass. Rhett thought about waking him so he could take on the last hour of the trip like he was supposed to, but he didn’t really want to disturb him. Plus, it was nice sneaking glances at him whenever he hit a stoplight. It made the minute pass by too fast, though.

He bit his lip hard, wondering why he couldn’t feel about any of his girlfriends the way he felt about Link.

 _Is it time?_ He wondered, as the red of the stop light washed over his friend’s face, tinting those pink lips a deeper shade. Long dark lashes shadowing angular cheeks. Could time make him feel this strongly about anyone if he just waited?

A horn honked behind him and Rhett forced his eyes to the road, pressing the gas.

He navigated the old fashioned roads of downtown Memphis, the many v-shaped intersections causing him a bit of confusion, until he found the hotel Eric had purchased Link a room in. He pulled up to the Rodeway Inn and shook Link awake quickly, figuring sleeping beauty would prefer not to end up with a permanent crick in his neck. Link groaned and shuffled out of the car looking half-dead on his feet, blinking owlishly up at the flat ketchup and mustard facade of the Inn.

“We here?” he asked from a sleep-hazed throat.

“Yeah,” Rhett said with a smile, scrubbing a hand over Link’s hair and completely ruining his pony tail. He then reached into the compartment behind Link’s seat and grabbed both of their bags before closing the door and locking the truck up tight behind them. “Come on, let’s get checked in so we can get you to bed, babe.”

Link delivered a light punch to his shoulder, then ducked ahead of him to speak with the desk clerk. He flashed his I.D. then was handed a set of keys. He jingled them at Rhett and they were back outside again and headed up a single flight of stairs.

Rhett put their stuff away then grimaced as he surveyed the room. One bed. At least it was a king size. The wall was an off-putting green. The wooden furniture seemed to have been designed in the late seventies.  

As a testament to how tired Link still was, he didn’t bother to get out of the hoodie and jeans he’d adopted for the trip. He just flopped tiredly onto his stomach, stretching his six foot frame over most of the bed. Rhett locked the door behind them and actually opted to take a shower. He felt gross after sitting in the hot truck for eleven hours. Once he was clean, he hesitated, then took Link’s shoes and socks off, grimacing when he felt the cooled moisture. He debated with himself for a little while, then tugged down Link’s jeans as swiftly and gently as he could. He’d had to maneuver his friend to his back before he could accomplish that particular task. Now Link lay before him, half dressed, tan legs exposed from the top of a lean thigh to the tip of a tanned toe.

“You’re not gonna get my hoodie for me too?”

Rhett jumped at the sound of Link’s voice and snapped his eyes up the slender body to the mischievous blue eyes smiling down at him.

“ _Jesus!_ How long you been awake?”

“From the moment a big hairy man started to take advantage o’me.” Link laughed and pulled the hoodie over his head and tossed it to the floor, sighing in the air conditioned room. “I just had a two hour ‘nap’. I’m not gonna be tired again for a while. But I’m not wide awake enough to go take a look at the city.”

He folded his arms beneath his head as an embarrassed Rhett put away his dirty clothes before joining him on the bed.

“Hey, wanna brush my hair ‘til I fall asleep?”

Rhett’s entire face scrunched. “What?”

Link reached down to the side of the bed where Rhett had placed his duffle and pulled a hair brush from the side pocket. “It’s all in kinks from you messin’ with it.” He pulled it out of the bun, then turned on his side, his back to Rhett. He stretched his long hair out across the pillow. “As long as you don’t pull too hard, it feels nice.” He added some sweetness to his voice. “If you do a good enough job, I’ll return the favor.”

“No thanks,” Rhett grumbled, blinking at the hairbrush like it was a foreign species, then scrutinizing Link’s hair in the same manner. He’d never brushed hair so long and worried he’d mess up.

“It’s not rocket science,” Link murmured as if he’d read his friend’s mind. “Just put it in and stroke it through.”

Rhett propped himself on one elbow and set to the task, probably with a lot more care than most people would use. When he leaned forward a bit, he could see that Link had a little smile on his face, so he figured it was worth it.

“When I get married,” Link said, breaking the silence. “I’m gonna have my husband brush my hair every night. Feels good.” He sounded like he was two breaths away from a deep sleep.

“You can’t get married,” Rhett blurted then gaped, snapping his mouth shut. “I mean…maybe one day…”

Link turned over, startling his friend who felt like they were a few inches too close to be facing each other on a bed. “I know it’s not legal for me to get married. I _know_ that.”

“I know,” Rhett said, reaching out a timid hand, then brushing it alongside Link’s jaw before quickly drawing it back. “I know you know that. I’m sorry. It just came out.”

“People are trying-”

He stretched his arm out again, this time laying it against the side of Link’s neck, his finger’s gentle. “I know,” he said again softly. “I’m sorry.”

Link closed his eyes, shifting Rhett’s hand from his neck. “Sometimes I’m scared I’m gonna end up alone or become a cat lady.”

Rhett chuckled. “You’d make a cute cat lady.”

“Yeah…I’m too sexy to be a cat lady.”

“Yeah.” Rhett tapped the hairbrush. “Want me to keep goin’?”

Link turned over without another word and Rhett took that as a yes.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Link felt Rhett’s hand on his lower back the entire walk to the club. He knew it was a safety measure to keep him from tipping over in his low heels, but it still made him feel a little strange. Rhett hadn’t given a foot of space between them since they hit Beale street to check out some of the historic buildings and to take a few pictures next to funky murals in fading colors against chipped brick.

He pulled away from Rhett slightly once they stepped into the dim interior of the club Eric would be playing at and made sure to sit on the opposite side of a booth facing the low stage. When the band came out to start setting up, Link waved enthusiastically at Eric and popped up to meet him in a fierce hug when he bounded across the floor.

“Damn it’s good to see you,” Eric said, pushing him away to look him up and down, then spun him a bit when he noted the slight shimmer of the gun-metal grey dress hugging Link’s body. “Who you seducin’ tonight?”

Link giggled and slapped his chest playfully until he felt the dark, looming shadow of Rhett over his shoulder.

“Rhett,” Eric exclaimed, his face startled. “I didn’t expect you to be here!”

“Well, someone’s gotta look after Link,” he said gruffly, arms folded over his chest, glaring down from his impressive height.

Link elbowed him subtly, trying to get him to lighten up. Eric just turned a confused expression on Link who grimaced in embarrassment. “Rhett’s like the worst overprotective big brother,” Link complained even though Rhett stiffened more, if that were possible. “Don’t worry about him.” He pressed his hands together and wriggled in excitement. “You said you had someone you wanted me to meet?”

Eric nodded, breaking eye contact with Rhett, wondering exactly what bug had flown up the dude’s ass. “Yeah. I’ll send him to your booth when he gets here.”

Link bounced on his toes, his eyes sparkling in excitement until Rhett’s hand clamped down on his shoulder, spinning him around.

“I thought you just came here to see Eric!” he rumbled in a low tone. “Not to hook up with some random dude!”

Link’s eyes went round and he stepped away from his friend. “It’s just a date and even if it weren’t, what business is it of yours?!”

If anything, he could say the look it Rhett’s eyes was hurt disbelief, but the taller boy turned around so quickly he couldn’t be sure.

“I’ll go sit in a different booth then,” he snapped over his shoulder. “I don’t wanna ruin your date.”

“Wow, talk about someone who became a real asshole,” Eric muttered.

Link shook his head and defended his friend even though he was angry too. “It’s not like that, okay. He just doesn’t want me to get hurt. He doesn’t really say it well, but the intention is there, so-” Link shrugged.

“Whatever,” Eric said. “I gotta go finish helping the guys set up. I’ll send my boy your way when he shows.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett felt like a complete jerk for the way he’d spoken to Link, but he wasn’t about to go over there and apologize, especially not while some slimeball had Link hanging off his every word. He sipped down some more of his drink, the music compounding a headache that had been building in his skull.

He squinted in the dim lights toward his friend.  

Was that smarmy bastard’s hand on Link’s knee?

Rhett tossed back something else, but knew he should slow down when his vision blurred for a moment so he waved aside the next waiter to approach him.

He folded his arms on his little table and felt his eyes unwillingly drawn to that booth again.

Link looked so beautiful and soft in the low light, shoulders shifting slightly to the music, mouth parting wide in a smile, then a laugh. What he wouldn’t give to be the one over there. But he consoled himself with the fact that Link would be going home with him tonight, curling up next to him in bed.

He hung his head between his shoulders realizing he couldn’t fight it anymore. He was in love with Link. He wanted to hold him, comfort him, encourage him, protect him.

A toss of dark curls. Long, tanned legs.

“Hey, Rhett, you okay?” that soft voice.

Rhett tilted his head back so he could look up at the sweet face dripping those honeyed words. “Link?” he said with a bemused smile, realizing he’d lost a little time to the alcohol. The band wasn’t even on stage anymore.

Link giggled. “Wow, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”

His blonde head bobbed on his neck.

Another giggle. “Hey, Max, will you help me get Rhett to the truck? He’s too heavy for me, especially when I’m in these shoes.”

He heard a low voice rumble in agreement and suddenly he was leaning on a well-muscled frame. He tried to pull away and bumped into Link, sighing when his nose brushed the scented hair.

They had quite a time loading him into the truck and all three squeezing into the front seat. Rhett later felt himself being frog-marched upstairs and dropped on the bed. A hushed conversation started as Link helped him undress for bed. Rhett snuggled under the covers, reaching out for Link to join him, but he wasn’t there.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“You sure you don’t wanna come back to my room with me?” Max asked, putting on his most convincing expression, but Link shook his head with regret and closed the door after waving his date goodnight one more time.

The evening had gone well, and he wouldn’t mind hanging out with Max again, but he wasn’t sure if the guy was really his type. Max had been nice and dished out compliments like they were going out of style, but he’d spent most of the night talking about Eric. Link shook his head wondering if Eric and Max, who turned out to be the lead vocalist’s little brother and would sometimes run sound, would figure that out while spending more time on the road together. A misplaced libido wasn’t worth adding to the confusion.

He slipped off his shoes and wriggled the soreness from his feet before hopping in the shower. He spent a few minutes letting the water and his body wash rinse the day off him. Crawling into bed beside his friend, Link quickly slipped under the covers, wishing Rhett weren’t drunk so he could brush his hair again. He let out a squeak of surprise when a long arm wrapped around him and snatched him toward a slim torso.

“There you are, cupcake,” a baritone voice chuckled. “Been lookin’ for ya.”

Link laughed, but snuggled backwards. Rhett’s body heat really helped to offset the coolness of the air-conditioner. He’d been angry at Rhett earlier since he liked to appear a little more independent in public, but alone in their room, Rhett was a nice barrier against everything bad. “I ain’t yer cupcake,” he giggled.

“Ummm, sweet…soft…cupcake.”

He winced when he felt Rhett start to nibble at his hair. “Ew, ew! Oh gosh, ew!” Link turned, pushing at Rhett’s face. He sighed with relief when Rhett’s eyes opened and he seemed to wake up a bit.

“Link?” Rhett questioned, looking a little surprised. “What-”

“You got a little drunk. I had to get Max to help me carry you back.”

“Max?”

“My date,” Link explained. His brows shot up at the hurt he could clearly read on Rhett’s face this time. He brought a hand up to Rhett’s arm. “What’s going on with you?”

Rhett pulled away from Link and turned his back to him, crossing his arms. He felt Link shake his shoulder a few times before he gave up, just pressing his back against Rhett’s as sweet, sweet torture. Rhett grit his teeth and tried to hold the words back, but they’d just been too long in coming. The alcohol wasn’t helping to stay his tongue either.

He sucked in a deep breath and it all spilled out in a mad rush. His eyes stared into the darkness. “I love you, Link. Not like some stupid crush love, either. I love you so much that I can barely sleep most nights thinking how I’m going to tell you and how you might respond. I always hope you’ll tell me you feel the same way and we kiss and we hold each other for a while and-” he shook his head. “A little cheesy, I know.”

He heard Link turn to face his back and a wide, warm palm settled between his shoulder blades. He let out the breath he’d been holding.

“And while I hope sometimes that you love me too,” Rhett continued. “I hope even more that you don’t.” He curled in on himself a little tighter, feeling Link shape himself to his body. Link didn’t ask him why and he was glad for that. He’d probably figured it out for himself anyway. Sexual intimacy would be a problem, and while some might claim it wasn’t important, it was very important to Rhett to experience that level of togetherness with the person he loved. And from a few conversations with Link, he knew his friend had quite the unfulfilled sex drive. Even if Link were physically a woman, chancing their friendship was still a big deterrent, but he would never verbally express his exactly how strong his aversion to certain male attributes aloud to Link. He knew Link was still struggling with the physical aspects of his born gender and he would never forgive himself if he felt like he was part of some drastic decision or change on Link’s part. Plus, if Rhett could just find a way to work out what his aversion was to intimately touching another male, then maybe. Maybe.

“I’ll try not to throw a tantrum no matter how many dates you go on tomorrow, okay?”

He heard Link chuckle lightly. “Thanks. And…I love you too, brother,” he said softly.

Rhett grinned and pressed himself more deeply against the pillows. “I’m gonna pretend I was too drunk to remember this conversation in the morning, alright?”

Link nodded. “And I’ll pretend I was actually asleep this entire time.”

“’Night, Legs.”

He could hear the smile in Link’s voice. “’Night.”


	20. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is bored in his job as a clerk and starts a night time program that helps people like him.

Link wouldn’t say that their friendship changed drastically after that night. It was just different in very subtle ways. Link would be a little more careful about bringing any dates or potential boyfriends back to the apartment they all shared, not that he had many. Rhett continued to date a number of different girls for longer and longer stretches of time. The relationships seemed to last longer if he kept them separate from his friendship with Link. The girls always seemed to sense an undercurrent of something between the boys and would break up with Rhett soon after. Although Link felt distant from Rhett during these periods, he didn’t want to be responsible for Rhett missing his chance at happiness. Especially when that dream seemed so far away for Link.

The few months after graduation had left him feeling empty. Rhett had immediately been picked up by an engineering firm, so he was gone most of the day. Link at first spent stretches of time hunting for a job, a permanent position as a counselor or assistant to a social worker. The few places he’d been sure would hire him after having him as an intern, quickly let him know that female workers were much preferred on their staff since the children seemed to trust them more, abused women opened up to them more easily, and they were better at reading vibes from males who walked through the door. Link had wanted to argue against these things, but he could already see their minds were set.

In order to keep up his portion of the bills after Gregg moved out and he and Rhett got a smaller place, he’d found some work part time at the video store, but he could tell the business didn’t have a lot of time left in it. Maybe a few months. A year, tops. He needed to be looking elsewhere. 

In the meantime, he struggled to get his website off the ground. He’d called it Angel, tagging it ‘Never be afraid to be someone’s angel’. Rhett had convinced him to put on some wings and pose for a photo that he eventually used to spruce up the website at Rhett’s insistence. He’d said people would be more trusting if there was a face to put behind the business. He’d gotten one or two interested people calling in to a separate business line he’d set up, but they seemed hesitant to become fully involved. In order to find a few more people, he’d started a weekly live blog. There were more people on there, but many were hateful bigots who wanted to use their spare time trying to tear someone else down. It often scared away the few LGBT people who showed up.

“Hey, buddy.”

Link looked up from the back of the DVD he’d been staring at. There were so few customers that he spent more time zoning out than not. He saw that the person coming in was Rhett and sank back down on his stool. “Hey,” he said, offering a weak smile. “What are you doing here?” He glanced up at the clock. “You taking a long lunch break?”

Rhett’s smile was much brighter than his. He leaned his pointy elbows on the counter and grinned down at Link. “Yeah. I don’t think they’ll even notice if I don’t show up for the rest of the day. I’m gonna go absolutely insane if I have to draw one more line.”

Link nodded in understanding. He was in the constant presence of the mental strain of a boring job. He was well versed in it now. 

Rhett pulled a bag he’d been hiding from behind his back and set it in front of Link. “I figured you might be hungry.”

Not disguising his gratitude, Link tore open the McDonald’s bag with a passion and sunk his teeth into the breakfast sandwich. It was a little cold since Rhett had probably bought it earlier that morning. He knew Link preferred those to the burgers. The summer heat had at least had kept it edible.

“Thanks, man,” he said around a mouthful. Rhett nodded, his expression looking a bit hesitant now. “What?”

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah?” He set aside his breakfast sandwich.

“You know your live broadcasts…”

“Umm…yeah…”

“Do you want me to…I don’t know…screen the comments for you? Like maybe I can run the chat window while you talk?”

Link’s brows shot up. He hadn’t been aware Rhett knew so much about his broadcast. Had he been one of the viewers that would pop in and out? Had he been checking on him?

“Umm…”

Rhett shifted his focus to the glass counter-top. “I hate seeing you so down afterwords.”

“Oh…” Link picked up the sandwich and continued to chew on it. “I’ll think about it…”

Rhett leaned up to his full height, his grin back in place. “Alright. It was kinda weighin’ on me. I actually have to get back. Lines don’t draw themselves and rent doesn’t pay itself either. Can’t take the chance someone will actually notice I disappeared.”

He smacked Link on the shoulder and was out the door.

Link felt his cheeks warm from Rhett’s concern and wondered if he was between girlfriends again or something. He always seemed to look for some new thing to take up his time and attention when he was alone and Link was glad for an excuse to hang out with his friend again. And he was extremely happy that he wouldn’t have to see those comments himself. While he often worked hard to pretend they didn’t faze him, he would find himself thinking about them at random times throughout the day, the words eating away at him. He hoped having Rhett there would help.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Hey, ya’ll. Welcome to the sixth Angel Cast,” Link said, his hair brushed out smoothly and his makeup as perfect as he could get it. His mom sat across the room on his bed, offering up her support. She came out as often as she could cause she knew what a strain these were on him. Rhett sat at a right angle to him, the computer stationed in front of him and the soundboard at his fingertips. Link almost didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt giddy with his favorite people there in the room.

“Tonight we’re going to talk about coming out. A friend of mine gave me his permission to share his coming out story. We went to high school together. Were in a band together.” He cocked a brow saucily, “And even _dated_.” He couldn’t help the giggle that burst from his mouth at Rhett’s dark look. “His name is Eric. Some of you might know him as the drummer from The Peep Show. You know, the muscle-y one that always plays shirtless.” He could practically hear his friend roll his eyes.

“Anyway, Eric was a lot like most of you. He was afraid to come out, pretending to be straight most of his life. Talkin’ the talk. Walkin’ the walk.” Link leaned in conversationally. “There are a lot more pretenders out there than you would think. Guys who’ve been taught that it’s wrong to want or love another man. Guy’s who’ve been abused because they’ve been bold enough to boldly proclaim that they’re gay. Well, Eric was like that. He looked strong. He looked like he could handle anything that came his way. I’ll talk about how cute he was another night. Those dimples-”

“ _Seriously_?!” Rhett asked in disbelief.

Link laughed. Rhett still hadn’t forgiven Eric for Link ending up in the hospital and it was always a bit chilly between the two men whenever the three managed to get together now.

“Since we’ve got an hour tonight, I’ll tell you the whole story and even the part I played in it. You guys interested?”

Rhett held up four fingers. That wasn’t many viewers, but it was some and that was all he needed-to know someone out there was listening. Maybe he could change a few hard-headed minds in the process even if they were there to spew hate, they were still there.

“A friend of mine had started a band in Junior year of high school and asked me to take part in it. At first I refused, but boy, did Eric manage to change my mind.” He laughed, remembering how attracted he’d been to his dimpled friend. “At first I didn’t believe he was hitting on me. He was just _sooo_ good-looking. Those arms!” Link pressed his hands to his chest. 

“I thought maybe he was playing around with me. It wouldn’t have been the first time or the last time, but that’s a story for another night. Anyway, he finally managed to convince me when he told me about himself. He felt like he was normal until he heard other boys at school talking about girls they were attracted to or how many girls they were gonna get. Until his dad asked him why he was so behind the other boys and never brought a girl home. Until he realized he spent a lot more time looking at the boys than the girls who were next to them. All of this made Eric feel like he _wasn’t_ normal. He felt like some kind of outcast. He felt like there was no one else out there like him. So he pushed it all down, didn’t talk about it.”

Link paused to take a swallow from a bottle of water he kept on his desk when he knew he’d be talking a lot. He took a moment to look over at Rhett who had his jaw clenched but had all his focus on the monitor.

“You know what that feels like. Disguising the very essence of who you are. You don’t even feel close to your friends because every word that comes out of your mouth feels like a lie. ‘Yeah, Suzy looks good. I could totally go for her. Yeah, he looks like a total dweeb.’ You don’t even feel like you _have_ friends. Eric was at his point when we met. He’d been hiding for so long and starting to feel a little trapped so he kinda homed in on the first person who seemed like they would get him, and I did the same. He’d heard rumors that I was gay and approached me.”

Rhett signaled to him out of the corner of his eye and Link tilted his head to the side. Rhett popped his wide-spread hands in the air twice. _Twenty!_

Link gulped in surprise, but continued speaking, his smile so big it almost hurt his face.  

“We dated for an entire summer. We didn’t know what we were doing. We would go hang out at his basement whenever his parents weren’t around. He’d drive me to and from band practice so we’d have some extra time together. We’d talk about our first crushes, when we first _knew_. Make out where no one could see us - my bedroom most days.”

He heard Rhett suck in a breath and wondered if the amount of viewers had gone up.

“He’d sometimes get a bit reckless because he was so happy to have found someone to talk to. I was excited as well. He’d try to sneak his arm around me at school and though I pushed him away, I was angry. Angry that we couldn’t be like all of the other couples roaming around. We sometimes argued about whether we felt ashamed of the other but knew it was circumstance that kept us in hiding. We had a lot of anger and confusion in that relationship that we couldn’t really turn on anyone but each other since we were the only ones who knew about it. Well, my friend Amber knew.” Link sighed. 

“Anyway. One day I came out to the band about my gender, this was after Eric and I broke up. He said he’d always wanted to do something like that. Be bold and just tell everyone. Even though he knew I’d been scared, he was amazed that I was brave enough to try. The other guys in the band were surprisingly okay with my admission, giving Eric some courage. Just seeing that there were some people in his life who could be okay with his sexuality was a major boost to him. We talked, I gave him some of the reading material and help numbers that I have listed on the cite. And we talked a lot about who he would come out to, how he would do it, what he thought their reactions might be, what he would do depending on their reactions.”

Link grinned. “Eric might have been strong, but he was also realistic. Life doesn’t always turn out like you want and he was well aware of the general mindset of Buies Creek. So, two nights before prom, he came to me and said ‘Link, I’m leaving on prom night. I’ve already got my stuff packed. And even though I said I would wait until graduation or college or some crap like that, I just can’t do it. I feel like I’m smotherin’ and college really isn’t for me anyway. I love the drums and that’s what I’m gonna do. So prom night, I want you to help me tell everyone, kay?’ So we came up with a plan. On prom night, we each took a girl who was perfectly willing to skedaddle, and we got one of ouo. r friends with an electric guitar to set up in the darkest corner of the gym. Then-” Link’s eyes practically sparkled with the memory. “-after they announced prom king and queen, Eric and I ran up on the stage and I shouted _‘Eric’s gay and I’m a girl!_ ’”

“Half the female student body burst into tears,” Rhett threw in. “Two of the hottest guys in school all over each other instead o’ them.”

Link’s mom’s shoulders shook with mirth.

“Anyway, that’s Eric’s coming out story. He left town that night. His parents never tried to get in contact with him even though I keep leaving his new phone numbers and tour dates with them. They want nothing to do with them now.” Link shook his head. “Not every coming out story is going to be a good one. I can at least tell you that he’s now living a fabulous gay life with his partner Max so…silver lining?”

“Wait! Eric and Max are _dating_?!”

Link scoffed at Rhett. “If you paid attention when we hung out together last time, you’d know that.” He looked out at the camera. “I would like to hear your coming out stories as well,” he said. “You can add them to the forums page and I will pick one to read next week. Also, I’d like to hear from you why you personally are afraid of coming out. What’s holding you back? The week after that, we’re going to be discussing liking the same sex if you are a woman vs if you are a man. Do you think it’s easier for women to come out or harder? My friend Amber is going to be on as a guest that night. She’s driving up from Georgia just for this and I hope she has a lot of insight. Any questions?” He asked, turning to Rhett.

His friend put on some music for the listeners, then scrolled through the chatbox. He frowned, then shook his head. Link felt some of his euphoria from having twenty viewers dwindle a little, but he fixed his smile on.

“Well, then, this Angel is saying goodnight to you my beautiful viewers. Remember that you’re not alone and there’s always someone there to help you whether you know it or not. And if there isn’t, well, there’s always _you_ now isn’t there,” he said, pointing toward the camera. “Night my beauties. Never be afraid to be someone’s angel.”

Rhett shut everything down then looked over at him, a bit of surprise on his features. “Wow,” he said.

“What?”

“The story…I’m sure it’ll help someone. Maybe not even in the way you’d expect.”

Link blushed and ducked his head. “That’s all I want. I just want to reach someone, you know.”

He felt Sue’s arms come around his neck and she rested her chin on his head. “My sweet baby,” she said, tilting his face so she could plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “I hate that I have to leave already but I got a shift in the morning.” She gently fixed his hair, then turned her attention to Rhett, kissing him on the cheek as well. “Bye, Beanstalk. I swear you never seem to stop growin’.”

They all chuckled at the familiar, gentle ribbing and waved the older woman out the door.

Rhett and Link sat in silence for a while, until Link stood to take off his makeup.

“I want to be a part of this,” Rhett said, stopping him.

“What?” Link asked, turning his head over his shoulder in a bit of surprise.

“It’s a good thing you’re doing. People need to hear this. Plus, I like seeing you like this. All energized. You look like a corpse whenever I pop into the video store.”

“Yeah, that job’s killing me slowly and painfully and quietly. You were the fourth and last person in there that day.”

“So what do you say?” Rhett asked standing and offering his hand. “Partner?”

Link grinned and shook his hand firmly. “Kay. But if we’re gonna be partners, then you have to sit next to me, on camera, and talk.”

“What, but-”

Link wagged his finger. “I’m sure you’ll figure out some way to verbally contribute. Even though your vocabulary isn’t nearly on the same level as mine.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause it’s ten levels above it.”

“Jerk.”

“You started it.”


	21. Pumped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link reach a new stage in their career and their lives together.

Rhett watched Link work the crowd, shaking hands, smiling, and all in a pair of black pumps and a cute little black dress. Rhett shook his head. He didn’t know how Link did it.

“He’s somethin’ to see, isn’t he?”

Rhett looked around to find Cole at his side, raising a glass to Link. They were all in New York to celebrate the launch of a commercial. They did as many as they could get to help fund the Angel site and their living expenses. What had been a side project soon became a full time job. Especially so when Rhett was laid off from his engineering firm. They’d never imagined something like this.

“Yeah…” He took a long pull from his champagne glass. “She’s amazing.”

Cole frowned at him, but didn’t question the pronoun.

“We haven’t talked to our families yet,” Rhett started hesitantly. “But we’re thinking of moving out to California soon, now that we’ve got enough money. Things are just getting too dangerous in North Carolina. We’ve had to move our location three times.” His eyes tightened remembering the most recent incident of someone breaking into a studio they’d set up in Lillington. Most of their equipment had gotten destroyed, but thankfully they had insurance which paid for the recovery of nearly all of it.

Cole turned his body toward his younger brother’s. “What about Lisa?”

She’d been a girl from church that his parents had introduced him to soon after Cole got married, hoping their younger son would follow suit and settle down. They liked that he was an entrepreneur but didn’t really approve of his association with the LGBT community. They were perfectly accepting when it came to other people’s children, but they were afraid it would rub off on their own. They’d never stated it, but the dropped hints were pretty clear.

“She uh…she broke up with me when I brought it up with her. She felt like I was choosing Link over us.”

His older brother sighed, putting his glass on a passing trey and propping his hands on his hips. “And _were_ you?”

Rhett’s dark brows lowered. “What?”

“Were you choosing Link over her? I mean, I’ve seen the way you looked at him since-” He threw his hands up. “-well, since I don’t know when. Are you two-”

“No!”Rhett denied a bit too quickly. “ And even if we were, it would be none of your business.”

Cole scowled at him in disbelief, his tone hurt. “I’m your _brother_ ,” he said softly. “And I know how much you love him.” Cole put a hand on Rhett’s elbow. “But family is important too. What about mom and dad? Huh? You know how much they like having you and Lisa around. And you’ve been together for nearly two years now. I’m sure if you-”

“I don’t want her back,” Rhett said surely and firmly. He’d made up his mind a long time ago. There was no turning back now. Even if he could never be with Link, he couldn’t keep getting into these dead end relationships and leading people on. “It wouldn’t be right. You can preach all you want about the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, but living a lie with someone _can’t_ be better.”

“But Rhett-”

He held up his hand. “I love you and I love mom and dad, but _nothing’s_ going to change my mind, okay?”

Cole clenched his jaw but knew that look on Rhett’s face. “Fine. But when you end up bitter and alone without children or a godly woman to light your days, you’ll see that we were right.”

Rhett’s heart clinched for his brother’s close-minded views, but at least there was a kindness behind it. “I’ll find other ways, brother,” he said, looking over at Link who turned a big smile his way, blue eyes shining. “Thanks for coming out to support us tonight.”

His older brother shook his head, but clapped him on the back. “That’s what a big brother is for.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Hey.”

Link turned to find Rhett by his side for nearly the hundredth time that night. They’d spent a lot of time networking as a pair, then dividing and conquering… or at least attempting to conquer. The party was pretty much over and everyone was heading their separate ways. He’d noticed Cole had left quite some time ago leaving Rhett with a troubled expression.

“Hey, yourself,” he murmured, running his hand quickly over Rhett’s tie to straighten it. “You seem all in a huff, what’s goin’ on?”

Rhett helped Link into his light-blue trench coat, then slid on his own jacket. They stepped out into the chilly, gritty New York air. The sidewalks, while full, seemed deserted after the daylight hustle. Link felt Rhett reach out for him, using a hand to tuck Link’s arm around his elbow.

“Rhett?” He queried again, starting to feel a little worried.

His tall friend shook his head, guiding him along a crosswalk. They only had two more blocks until their hotel. Expensive, but worth the proximity to their venue. “I just…heard some things from my brother that I kind of expected but…didn’t know I was unprepared to hear.”

“Yeah?” Link asked, squeezing Rhett’s arm comfortingly.

“And I told him about how we’re planning to move to California soon.” He bit his lip. “And how Lisa broke up with me when I told her.”

Link stopped in his tracks, turning on the spot to stare up into Rhett’s sad eyes. “Lisa broke up with you?” He thought about how happy the petite brunette had looked the last time he’d seen the two together. “I thought you wanted to marry her. What happened?!”

“She just…wasn’t as excited about California as I was,” Rhett said, avoiding Link’s gaze. “Her whole life is here, she didn’t want to uproot it.”

“So is _ours!_ ” Link ejaculated, angry on behalf of his friend.

Rhett hung his head and grabbed Link’s arm again, forcing him to keep heading in the direction of the hotel. “Yeah, but she doesn’t have any idea what to expect. At least we’ve been out there a few times, got some connections established,” he mumbled.

“She could’ve-”

Rhett’s voice was gruff. “Look, it’s over, Link. I just don’t want to talk about it anymore, please? There’s no chance for Lisa and I. Just trust me on that.”

Link’s brows shadowed his eyes but he let the topic lie. “Are you okay?” he finally asked.

He was rewarded with a slim smile from his friend. “I will be.”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

Link giggled to himself, hearing Rhett humming in another room as they packed their stuff for their road trip. The drive would be long, but the company would be good at least. Rhett seemed so cheerful even though his girlfriend of two years had dumped him barely a week ago. He seemed so carefree somehow.

“I can’t believe that in a few days we’re gonna be in _California!”_ Rhett exclaimed, strutting through the room on his long legs. He looked like his high school self in that moment, nothing but legs and arms and a big grin, plus that crazy excitement that always seemed to roll off him in waves. He looked like he were amping up for a basketball game.

“ _I_ can,” Link laughed. “It’s all you’ve been talkin’ about.”

“This is gonna be-” Rhett grabbed Link’s arms and shook him around like a rag doll. “-The biggest adventure we’ve ever had.”

Link pressed his hands against Rhett’s chest, feeling a little dizzy. “Well I won’t be able to enjoy it if you manage to kill me.”

Rhett pulled him into a tight and surprising hug, dropping a kiss onto the top of his head before moving away, his eyes still bright. “Can you imagine how good our vlogs are gonna look in our new studio?! All that _lighting_ we’ve got! But ever since we chose green for the colors of the walls, I can’t stop wondering if we made the right decision. Isn’t it going to make our skin look weird?”

The smaller man was busy trying to get his hair out of his eyes. Rhett’s manhandling always left him in a bit of a mess. At least he didn’t flatten him to the ground with his weight anymore, _that_ had been an ordeal and a half.

“I guess we can take some kind of poll. Giving the fans an opportunity for input is always a good idea.”

Link just let Rhett ramble on as he carefully wrapped some more dishes in newspaper. _Of course_ Link was enthusiastic about how their lives would change once they were in such a vastly different place like California. He wondered if maybe he would find love there. He certainly hadn’t found it in North Carolina and he was getting lonely. Admittedly, he was still a few years away from thirty and nowhere near old, but he wanted _romance_ and intimacy.

He looked over at his friend, wondering if Rhett had given something like that up for him when it ended with Lisa, but Rhett looked happy. He wasn’t pretending. He literally buzzed with it. He genuinely wasn’t upset that it ended.

“What you thinkin’ bout instead of listening to me, babe?” said Rhett, closer than he’d been earlier, a warm hand on Link’s shoulder.

Link tilted his head back. From this distance, Link could see every year written on the blonde’s face in the small, nearly invisible scars he’d gotten while playing some game when they were kids, the strap of his beard inching across his face and the stray hairs of a real beard struggling to come in at Rhett’s impatient insistence, and the few extra freckles that appeared and disappeared with the seasons. When Link looked into those familiar eyes, he saw they were doing the same, tracing the contours of his face collecting and discarding information as it came.

Link had a sudden, aching desire to be in Rhett’s arms again, held tight against that warm chest and told everything would be alright. That their business would grow even more than it had, that the LGBT books they’d managed to get into local bookstores and libraries would reach someone in need, that they would no longer have to run and hide when they were on the streets and a hard stare found them, that they would be safe there in California. That they would become successful, more than they could ever dream, and show the world exactly what two small town men were capable of if they put their minds to it and their hearts were in the right places. He wanted to show that the only thing his sexuality or his gender should influence was how he himself chose to dress and act each day and that each little boy and girl should and could be whoever or whatever they wanted to be and the world couldn’t stop them if it tried.

He stepped closer to Rhett and saw confusion flicker in his friend’s eyes. Link lowered his head and pressed the side of it gently against Rhett’s chest. He then wrapped his arms around the blonde’s solid waist, feeling warm and comforted. This hug much different than the quick one his giant friend had thrust upon him earlier.

A sigh left his tall friend’s body and arms came around his shoulders and the middle of his back, a hand cupping his ribcage. Rhett’s hugs were the best. His scent always managed to clear Link’s mind. That familiar scent of soft-sweet pine and the deeper, earthy one of Rhett’s body.

“I’m glad I copied your curse words onto my desk twenty years ago,” Link said in his soft, high voice.

He felt Rhett’s chuckle vibrate through him. “I was pissed for a while, having to be stuck beside you for those extra minutes and watchin’ you spend the entire time colorin’ your picture so careful and nice.”

“I could _tell_.”

“I almost scribbled on it.”

“I woulda hated you for it.”

“Nah, you woulda thought I was cool, no matter what I did.”

Rhett could feel Link’s smile. “Probably.”

Link squeezed his friend gratefully before releasing him, his nerves finally settled. He punched the arm of his best friend, his rock. “Now hurry up and go finish packing. I want to get half of this stuff loaded into the truck before seven.”

Rhett gave the brunette a sarcastic bow and disappeared back into one of the bedrooms.

Link pressed a hand to his chest, his heart full.


	22. California Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link move their company and themselves out to California.

Link pranced around the living room, taking in their stacks of boxes with his vlogging camera. “We’ve finally arrived!” He exclaimed, putting a hand to his cheek. Sheets of his long hair were stuck to the sweat on his neck and shoulders from helping to carry in the boxes. He panned down to his tank and noticed it was soaked through in places. He pouted at what would be the viewers once he gave the footage to Rhett to edit and upload. “I’ve been a sweaty mess for days. Ugh. I’ll be so glad when everything is finally organized.”

“Is that what you call helping?” Rhett’s cousin, Nick, came into the living room and swatted Link on the backside, earning him a heavy glower from the brunette and his tall friend coming in the front door, boxes cradled in his straining arms. “Come on Princess, there’re only a few things left.”

Link frowned after him and Rhett appeared at his side. “I’ll tell him not to do that, okay? And I’ll get him to apologize.”

“Whatever,” Link said softly. Nick was Rhett’s cousin, so he was giving him the benefit of the doubt. He probably thought he was just being friendly. He had, however, been leering all morning and making the odd comment about Link’s appearance. “Is it okay if I just give the fans a tour of some of our house?”

“He’s the one who made you uncomfortable, _you_ shouldn’t be the one to leave.”

Link gave his friend a little smile, but shrugged. “I just don’t feel up to starting anything today, okay? And besides, this’ll probably be the only time I see him.”

“I’m still gonna talk to him.”

“And I know I can’t stop you from always trying to protect me,” Link said softly, his lips curled in a happy smile. “I just don’t want to deal with it today. I’ll keep vlogging.”

Rhett looked like he wanted to pull him into a hug or something, but instead he just nodded and moved to put the boxes in their designated locations, these set were marked for the kitchen.

Link put his smile back on and lifted the camera to his face again. “I’ll show you guys around okay?” He gestured with a wide swing of an arm. “This is the living room. Look at those walls!” he gushed. “I don’t even know how to describe that color. It’s like a pinky gold. I hope it’s coming through on camera properly.” 

He showed them the bathroom, spending a lot of time on the cool tile that formed a mosaic halfway up the shower wall. He showed them his bedroom on the first floor, telling the fans all about how he’d originally wanted to take the upstairs space. Rhett, however, had refused on account of Link having a bad habit of slipping down stairs. And that chance increased twofold whenever Link wore heels. And Link loved wearing heels, so he’d finally conceded. 

The bedrooms were pretty much the same size either way and both had walk-in closets. There was also a smaller room on each floor that they’d each converted into separate personal spaces. He hadn’t decided yet what to do with his and asked some advice from the fans.

Link took the stairs two at a time to get to the second floor. He could hear Rhett and Nick finishing up downstairs and sighed gratefully. He was glad it was just he and Rhett again.

“And this is Rhett’s bedroom,” he said, coming into the room. They’d both ordered their beds before they started driving out and had gotten the landlord to let movers in to set them up. They would have just used their beds from their North Carolina apartment, but Amber had advised them that something larger or at least better-made would suit their new stage of life a little better. Plus, weren’t they tired of their long frames hanging off the small beds? They’d both agreed that her argument was sound and had gone in for something large. Link’s bed was still just a twin size, but it appeared a little larger due to the contrast offered by the white head board. Rhett on the other hand, had opted for a California king. He was a big man and he loved his space.

“Look at the size of that thing!” Link commanded his fans. Then feeling giddy, he took a running start, then jumped, giggling when he crashed down on the fresh and inviting mattress on Rhett’s bed fame. He rolled from side to side, holding the camera over his face. He was so caught up in playing that he hadn’t noticed Rhett enter the room. Not until the heavy weight smashed into him hard and pinned him into the mattress, the camera falling from his hand and bouncing on the cushioned surface.

“Whatchu doin’ in my bed?” Rhett asked, his legs tangled around Link’s and his arms wrapped around Link’s chest, keeping him in place. “You’re sweatin’ up my mattress.”

Link groaned and tried to get out from under him, but Rhett was much too heavy for his slight frame to make much difference. “Why?~” Link whined in utter defeat.

Rhett poked him a few times in the ribs, Link trying to wriggle away from the touch.

“Get off me. I’m still filming.”

Holding onto Link with one arm, Rhett reached for the camera with the other and rolled them both onto their backs. He positioned the camera above their heads, now nestled close together.

“Hi guys, missed me?”

Link scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sorry to cut this vlog short, but Link and I are actually pretty tired and we’ve got at least a few boxes to unpack”-he barreled over Link’s protests- “before we nap a bit.” He grabbed Link’s hand and wriggled it in a wave. “See you tomorrow guys.” He winked, then shut the camera down.

“Rhett-”

The man in question snuggled against Link. “Wow, this mattress is comfortable. We might not even need to unpack the sheets. We could nap right here.”

“W-we?!” Link sputtered. Rhett’s arm was still tight around his shoulders, keeping him pressed to his side. He tried to look over at his friend and found that they were nearly nose to nose. A strange sound tried to force it’s way from the back of his throat and he shifted away slightly.

“Yeah, this bed’s big enough for the both of us,” Rhett said, releasing his friend and rolling nearly to the edge of the bed, spreading his long arms a bit. “And I know you barely got any sleep last night from being too excited about actually being here.”

“I’ve got my own room.” He sniffed. “And I should probably shower…”

“You still smell good.”

Link blushed happily and turned onto his side, putting a hand under his cheek. “You’ve been really nice to me since we left North Carolina.”

“I’m always nice to you.”

Link quirked his eyebrow. “You’re always my _friend_ ,” he corrected. “Not always _nice_. Now you’re being _super_ nice and I’m starting to freak out a little. You got some bad news you’re gonna drop on me or something?”

Rhett poked out his lower lip and shook his head. “Nope. I just wanted you to stop freaking out so much about moving here. One day you’d be excited then you’d be all glum about missing your mom and grandparents. Then you’d be all hyped up about the trip again.”

“You make it sound like I’m on some sort of emotional roller coaster.”

“If the theme park ride fit…”

Link chuckled. “I thought you said you were gonna get your asshole cousin to apologize to me.”

Rhett sighed and sat up. “I tried. He acted like he didn’t know what he’d done wrong, then he just left after totin’ in the last box.”

“I guess even the McLaughlin apples can fall far from the tree.” He sat up on the bed as well, resting back against the dark, mahogany headboard. “We’re really gonna be okay out here, right?”

“We still got each other, so I’d say we’re already doin’ better than alright.”

* * *

Visiting Los Angeles had been one thing. Living there was another thing entirely. Everything was so much bigger, yet smaller at the same time. For a while they felt like they couldn’t turn around without bumping into another human being and had quite a bout of home sickness for evergreen scented air and their parent’s houses only a short distance away. It took them a while to get their noses acclimated to the dusty, city air and the salt scented breeze the closer they drove to the ocean. Keeping up the old habits of vlogging everyday helped so they could talk out their experiences as they had them, reflecting on the good and the bad.

Link didn’t feel like as much of an oddity out here. He often wore a dress out now and didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. There were a few other androgynous men and women near his height and build strutting the streets. He felt his confidence nearly skyrocket. He felt like he could wear anything he wanted anywhere he wanted and wouldn’t get strange looks. He even wore one of his professional skirt and jacket suits to a meeting and no one thought anything of it, though Rhett had kept at his side to be extra supportive.

He loved most of all going into their office. They’d branded their company Mythical Entertainment though Angel Outreach was a big part of it. But since they’d hired on a staff and were beginning to plan a new weekly show to help cover the cost of their budget and living expenses, they’d discussed an umbrella term for what they did. Link was thinking about transitioning their vlog into something more similar to the casts he and Rhett had done when they first started out. They had a set built into their building so they could easily film something besides the game episodes he and Rhett did that were popular on the site responsible for most of their funding, YouTube. The fans loved seeing Rhett try to best him in a game of basketball while wearing a pair of heels. Rhett might have been the better player, but Link was better in the arched torture devices.

“Morning, boss.”

Link smiled and greeted the staff as he passed them. Morgan at his desk, always at work editing something. Chase over to the side doing some research on a new game they could play or challenge they could take on. A curled afro peeked over the edge of a computer monitor, Daniela hard at work on the Angel Outreach site, probably updating it a bit and talking with the people who hung out in the chat room. They only had a few people working for them at the moment, but the expense had well been worth it since they were also seeing an increase in their profits and viewership.

He tapped on Stevie’s door on the way to his and Rhett’s office and was humming when he finally settled into his seat.

Rhett looked up from his computer screen and crinkled his brow at him. “What’s got you in such a good mood? Were they giving away coffee I.V.’s over at the Starbucks?”

Link laughed and crossed his legs, the pencil skirt restricting his movement slightly. “I wish.” He’d gone there to grab a muffin since he hadn’t had breakfast and they only had toast in the office kitchen. He propped a hand on his chin and looked over at his best friend. “I’m just…happy I guess,” he said with a brilliant smile. “We had no idea what any of this would lead to. I mean, we had completely different visions for our lives. Now look at us.” He spread his arms wide. “We run our own business. I’m helping all those people I wanted to help and _more_. Your beard finally grew in.”

Rhett chucked a piece of wadded paper at him.

“You been working on those skits you were pitchin to me?” Link asked.

His friend nodded going back to his computer. “Yeah and I think they’re gonna be a hit. We might need to hire on one more camera guy though, one who knows something about this type of filming.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Still talking toward his computer screen, Rhett said a little softly. “So um…you maybe want to go out to celebrate our success. Dinner, a few drinks?”

“Sure,” Link said happily. “When?”

Rhett’s hands were motionless above his computer keys. “Tonight?”

“Oh, I can’t tonight,” Link said apologetically. “I have a date.”

“O…oh…”

“Saturday night?”

Rhett pasted a smile on his face. “Alright.”


	23. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link have a disagreement, then a man they thought they'd never see again makes a reappearance in their lives.

Rhett thought he could do it, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He waved Link out the door for another date that wasn’t with him and he knew he couldn’t do it anymore. He’d been lying to himself when he resigned himself to this role. The supportive best friend. Hopeful that the next guy Link went out with would be ‘the one’. Rhett sank bitterly onto the couch as Link’s red jacket disappeared out the door hoping that the guy that had Link on his arm tonight would trip down some stairs somewhere and end up in a universe where he didn’t know Link.

Rhett scrubbed a hand over his mouth feeling sick and drained, knowing he couldn’t go on like this. Not another year. Not another month. Not even another day.

Just like every other night when Link went out, he stayed there on that couch, playing a movie in the background but actually watching the time tick by on the clock suspended above their mantel. Ten came and went. Eleven. Midnight. His jaw clenched. One. Two. He heard footsteps on the walkway and quickly flicked off the television and went upstairs to his own room to feign sleep or a half-finished project he just had inspiration on in the final hour.

He heard their voices, but unlike other nights when the men had been sent home, this one was invited in. He heard their voices recede toward Link’s bedroom and shot off his bed, closing his door tightly. He didn’t want to overhear. He returned to his bed, huddling around himself and wishing he had the courage to go down there and kick that man out, the strength to take his place attempting to win Link’s heart.

Rhett’s sleep was fitful once he finally managed to let it drag him under and he awoke to near noonday sun poking him awake. He struggled up from his bed, feeling a terrible headache gnawing at his skull and forced himself to shower and head downstairs, praying that Link’s date had left.

“Hey, Sleepyhead.”

His eyes drifted toward the voice of his friend, all wrapped up in a soft, white bathrobe at the oven, attempting to make eggs. There were already some toasted waffles sitting on the table along with syrup and juice. His confusion was palpable. Link hated cooking.

“Hey, yourself,” Rhett responded, unconsciously shifting Link out of the way of the stove and taking over. Link didn’t seem to mind. He sank down at the table and started in on the waffles. “H-how was your date last night?” Rhett forced himself to ask.

“Oh, _amazing!_ Sean is so interesting. I think we stayed up until four just talkin’.”

“Yeah?” He halved the scrambled eggs between their two plates, quickly rinsed the pan, then settled at the table as well, not really feeling hungry. Was talking all they’d done?

“We plan to go to a movie tonight and-”

“I thought we were celebrating tonight…”

Link looked startled for a moment then his eyes widened. “Oh yeah.” He waved his hand. “Tomorrow night?”

Rhett bit the inside of his jaw. “I really wanted to celebrate tonight.”

“But-” Link broke his words and looked a the tension etched across Rhett’s face. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been an asshole every time you met Sean and now you want me to break a date with him?”

“You made plans with me first,” Rhett said, thumping a hand against his chest.

“Yeah, and I’m sorry about that, but we spend practically every waking moment together. Moving around a dinner isn’t that big of a deal.”

There were so many words choking Rhett’s throat that he couldn’t get a single one of them out. Being in love with Link had never been so hard. There’d always been excuses. Distractions. Now there was just the blatant realization that no matter how much he loved Link or how much he’d fought with himself about those affections and his own issues, Link would never feel more for him than he did for a brother or any other friend. He felt all of the energy drain from him all of a sudden. Link had never even hinted at wanting anything more from him than his friendship.

Rhett scooped a forkful of eggs into his mouth, still feeling Link’s baleful glare.

“If you don’t like Sean, just say so. But it’s not gonna stop me from dating him. I value your opinion, brother, but I’ve got to make up my own mind about these things.”

Link stared at his friend, waiting from some kind of rebuttal. That he just wanted to look out for him. That he’d seen Sean do something shady. Something, anything. But Rhett was just munching away at his food as listless as a cow. He felt his breath seize a little in his chest at the thought that Rhett might really be mad at him for forgetting their plans together. “But…I could cancel tonight if it’s really important to you…”

He stretched his hand across the table where Rhett had his left arm curved protectively around his plate. Link entwined their fingers and waited for Rhett to look up at him. “I’m sorry I forgot our plans,” he said, chewing on his lower lip.

Rhett just blinked sadly and pulled his hand away. Scraping up the last of his food, then placing the plate lightly in the sink. He needed to be away for a little while.

“Rhett?”

“I’m gonna go for a quick jog,” he said instead, disregarding the previous conversation. “I’ll be back later.” Rhett headed upstairs to change, having a hard time looking at Link’s sweet face.

Link pressed himself more deeply into his bathrobe and forced himself to eat around the lump in his throat wishing that Rhett would just come back and talk to him about what was wrong. He pulled out his phone and sent a morose text to Sean, telling him that he wasn’t feeling up to a night out but asked for a rain check. Sean agreed easily and hoped Link would feel better the next night.

Link halfheartedly finished his meal, then went to his bedroom, pulling on a pair of shorts and a cute blue, pink-striped sports bra. He tied his hair up into a quick ponytail then strapped his iPhone to his arm. He waited at the front door until Rhett came downstairs. Rhett’s eyes flickered over him in surprise, but he didn’t say anything. They walked out of the house together, then started jogging without a word. 

Link popped in his earbuds and kept pace beside his long-legged friend. He let thoughts roll around in his head as familiar tunes played in his ears. Trying to figure Rhett out even after all of these years was still one of his favorite pass-times. Rhett was angry, he was sure about that. But mostly he was sad about something, looking practically heartbroken. Rhett didn’t really like to talk about his feelings, so it was usually up to Link to coax out exactly what was going on. This time he figured he’d just let Rhett stew for a while until he felt like opening up.

Rhett unclipped a pair of shades from his shirt and slid them on when he realized he couldn’t stop the way his eyes drifted to the side to watch Link’s taut stomach flex and glisten in the afternoon sunlight. A few years ago, Link finally had enough money to do a laser hair removal procedure so he was smooth just about everywhere. Link had been excited for months before and months after about not having to shave again. It had taken ages for it to be complete, but Link had endured with a giant grin on his face.

 _You’re beautiful_ , he wanted to say, watching Link’s ponytail brush the crease of his back as he ran. _The most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out. Being next to you has taught me there are so many things I can overcome. Not having you…_

Link halted his momentum and bent down to tie his shoe, Rhett stopping beside him. Two boys who’d been sitting on a nearby park bench got up and approached them with hesitant grins on their faces.

“Angel?”

Link straightened and smiled down at the teenagers. “Sometimes,” he said with a giggle. Rhett rolled his eyes as the two boys clasped each others hands and came even closer. The caramel boy with the curling chocolate hair grinned down at his shorter friend and gave his hand an extra squeeze. The freckled boy unbent his neck as if he’d just been given two doses of confidence from the touch.

“I never thought I’d get to meet you in real life. I mean. I know it’s not you who responds to some of the emails on the website. It’s probably one of your staff, right? She’s always kind though, and helpful. And the stories there-” He blinked his eyes in wonder. “My parents, after I got the courage to come out to them, they kicked me out.”

The caramel boy pressed his hand again and Link leaned in attentively, Rhett’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“I didn’t know what to do, I was scared and I thought everyone around me would react the same way as my parents. But I read the stories, _all_ the testimonials. Spoke to some of the counselors linked on the website. And I got the courage to come out one more time.” The pale boy looked up at his taller friend. “This is my friend Raj. We’ve been friends since we were little and his parents have always been like my parents. Well honestly, better than my parents.” He blinked as if he were trying to push down some tears. “I told him I was gay and that my parents had put me out on the streets.” Raj threw his arm around the smaller boys shoulders as if sensing that just holding his hand wasn’t enough. He pressed his face against Raj’s chest, his t-shirt catching his tears. “Just- I’m glad that there are really people out there who’ll love you just the way you are. Even if they aren’t the one’s who gave birth to you.”

Raj squared his jaw proudly. “You guys came from some rinky dink town way on the other side of the continent. Mikey always said if two hicks from nowhere’s ville had the brass to put up with everything life threw at them, then he shouldn’t let his brave Irish blood down.” He mussed up Mikey’s spiky red hair. “I always wondered about what kinda person was behind that website.” He looked Link up and down and glanced over at Rhett. “I’ve been watching your vlogs since Mikey came to live with us. Cool.”

Link laughed at Raj’s straightforward stare and Mikey’s happy smile. “I’m sorry that your parents were too blind to see what they were giving up,” Link said, pressing a quick hand on Mikey’s shoulder and looking at Raj. “But I think he’s finally somewhere he’ll be appreciated despite all that.”

Raj jerked a quick nod and Mikey wrapped both arms around his torso. “My mom finished up the adoption paper’s with Mikey’s parents just last night.”

Mikey gasped and shifted away from him. “What?!”

Raj grinned at the awe on his face and pulled him back into a quick hug, slapping his back while Link covered his mouth with his hands. “Sorry little brother. It was supposed to be a surprise. Dad wanted to tell you himself.”

Rhett clapped the two happy boys on the back with his large hand. “Congratulations.”

Mikey seemed overwhelmed by the news. He threw his arms around Link, then Rhett, then back to Raj who was laughing, exposing a gap toothed grin. “I think he’s happier about this than meeting you guys. Sorry to steal your thunder.”

Link shook his head, his hands pressed together in front of him. “I’m happier about this than being recognized _any_ day.” He looked up at Rhett and they quietly sneaked away, leaving the boys to their new discovery as brothers.

Rhett kept his arm around Link’s waist, enjoying the warm feel of him against his side.

“We should probably head back home,” Link said with a wide smile.

Rhett’s happiness from earlier waned. “Oh right, you have to get ready for your date.”

Link paused on the running path and tilted his face up toward his friend. “I canceled,” he said proudly, waiting for Rhett to show how happy he was about that. Instead his friend’s brows lowered and a painful expression appeared on his face.

“I told you not to do that. I know how well things have been going with Sean. If you want to be with him, then go be with him. I don’t need your time on pity.”

Link gaped. “I want to be with you because of all the reasons I’ve _always_ been with you, Rhett.”

Rhett took his arm from around Link and Link felt the removal like a knife wound. What was going on?

“Because I’m your _big brother_?” Rhett demanded. “Because you feel like you have to love me unconditionally because that’s what you do for your brother? Well, I’m not your brother, Link. Never have been. Not by blood, not by paper like those boys back there.”

He reached for Rhett’s shoulder but the taller man moved away.

“How can you not _see_ it?!” Rhett shouted, causing Link to flinch away and look around to see if people were watching.

“Look at Mikey and Raj back there. Look at how Chase and Morgan interact. _How_ can you not see it?” His voice was a plea now. “That’s how brother’s look at each other. Friends.”

He hung his head and drifted up the path without Link. Link hurried to catch up, walking beside him, trying to decipher his words and his actions. He thought back to the protective yet gentle gazes passing between the teen boys. There was love there, yes, but there was also a bit of an amused exasperation with one another. That’s how Cole and Rhett used to be when they hung out. They could turn on each other in an instant, but if the world tried to invade, they’d be side by side.

His footsteps slowed as they reached their front porch and he still didn’t know what Rhett meant. That’s how they were for each other, right? Or was Rhett suggesting that what was between them was indeed conditional? Breakable. Was it his relationship with Sean that was scaring Rhett so badly. Did he think that Link would move on with Sean and their friendship would lessen somehow. 

He guessed he could see why Rhett was worried about that since he had forgotten a planned dinner after Sean had asked him out again.

Link pressed a gentle hand to the center of Rhett’s back and stepped up, wrapping his arms around his waist, laying his head where his hand had just rested. He remembered doing this on prom night when Rhett had stormed up to his front door trying to bluster his way through the possible repercussions of his and Eric’s actions that night. But rather than feeling Rhett relax this time, he stiffened in Link’s arms.

“Why do you never just say what you’re feeling?” Link asked. “You always have to get all worked up instead. If we just talk-”

Rhett peeled Link’s arms off his body and darted into the house, disappearing up the stairs. Link stared after him, feeling the prickle of tears in his blue eyes.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett slammed his bedroom door and flopped sulkily onto his bed. He knew he was being unfair and mean but couldn’t seem to control himself. Link was right there. Always right there, but always so out of reach at the same time. And who couldn’t blame him if he didn’t remember Rhett had told him he was in love with him on a warm Memphis night so many years ago. They’d both said they would forget and never talk about it again. And they hadn’t. He slung an arm over his eyes. Link hadn’t told him he’d felt the same way back then either. He’d received the same words of love from Link that he always had.

He never thought much about people in movies and on television shows who couldn’t let go of a person who didn’t love them back. But how was he ever supposed to get over a person like Link?

He growled and shot off his bed, rushing down the stairs and to Link’s room. He threw the door open and paused when he saw Link sitting on the edge of the bed chewing on his lip like it was his salvation, the only thing keeping the shimmer of tears in his eyes from leaking down his cheeks.

Rhett let out a sound of protest and sank to his knees in front of his friend, gripping his manicured fingers tight between his own. “I’m sorry, Legs. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Link sniffled. “I’m not crying.”

Rhett signed and brushed a hand against Link’s smooth cheek. “I just- I think maybe I need some time alone. Yeah. That’s probably it. It’s been a long time since we went back to North Carolina and I know my mom misses me.”

“You sayin’ you gonna take a trip back without me?”

Rhett gripped his hands even tighter. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been without each other.”

Link sucked on his lower lip then said softly. “I don’t want to be without you.”

Rhett smiled sadly, wishing the words were as romantic as they sounded. He lifted Link’s hand and brushed it softly against the side of his face, staring up into the Link’s eyes and willing him to see the love there. He was ready. Ready to be with Link. If only Link could see it. If only Link felt the same way.

“I don’t want to be without you, either.”

Link sucked in a shaky breath. “Rh-”

The doorbell rang, causing them both to jump.

“Who could that be?”

The doorbell rang frantically again and Link pulled his hands out of Rhett’s so he could check his phone. He frowned. “It can’t be Sean. He would call before he came. You know how he is about scheduling stuff.”

He got up, Rhett right behind him, wondering if it could be a neighbor. Link got to their front door and looked through the peephole as the bell continued to shrill through the house. Rhett heard his gasp as he shifted away from the door looking pale.

Rhett stepped up to the peephole instead and nearly lost his own breath. He glanced over his shoulder at Link, then pulled the door open, standing protectively in front of his friend. “What’re _you_ doin’ here?”

Cold blue eyes drilled up at him. “I came here to see my boy.” Those eyes searched until they zeroed in on a bloodless face reliving past hurts. “Hi, Link.” Charles Lincoln Neal the second said. “It’s been about fifteen years. I think it’s time we talk.”


	24. Father Figure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link talks to the man who hurt him all those years ago, and it prompts a night out on the town with his best friend.

Link could barely breathe as memories of that summer so long ago washed over him. His stepbrothers finding his makeup and perfumes. His father standing by as he was forced to cut his hair. The camp. That god awful camp.

“You hear me, boy?”

Rhett put a hand on Charles’s shoulder, keeping him on the threshold. “Why didn’t you call before you came so we coulda told you we didn’t want to see you?” Rhett asked. “You didn’t have to waste the trip.”

Charles glared up at the much taller man. “I was in town on business and Sue told me a while back where you boys been livin’. I figured I’d stop by. See if Link was ready to talk.”

Link turned on his heels and walked quickly away, disappearing into his bedroom. Rhett started after him, then realized Charles was still darkening their doorway. They stared at each other for a few tense moments before Charles made to come inside. Rhett shifted to block him.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You can’t keep me away from my son,” Charle’s protested in disbelief. “It’s been _fifteen_ years!”

Rhett stood firm. “I don’t care how long it’s been!” he said, equally as loud. “Do you have any idea what you did to him?! He-” Rhett stopped when he felt a hand on his back and turned to find Link had come back. He’d changed from his jogging outfit into a pair of purple skinny jeans and a slinky black sweater. He’d also pulled his hair into a quick bun on top of his head. His eyes were soft, but determined when he looked up at his best friend.

“It’s okay, Rhett. Whatever this conversation is, it’s long overdue.” Wary eyes flicked to his father, then back. “Do you mind making us some coffee and see if you can find some snacks of some kind. Cookies…chips…” Link shrugged, the line of his collarbone tantalizingly exposed in the draped knit fabric.

Rhett licked his lips and nodded reluctantly, heading off to the kitchen. He heard Link inviting his father into the living room and the rustle of cloth as they settled on the stuffed cushions.

Link smoothed his hands over his pants and tried to appear calm, collected, and strong. He didn’t want to be anything else in front of his father. “So,” he said sharply. “You wanted to talk?”

Charles rubbed his palms together, taking in his son from head to toe. He felt that familiar tinge of heartache mixed with confusion and shifted his eyes to the floor. “You were the first kid I ever had,” he started. It wasn’t where he’d meant to start, but it was what came out, so he cleared his throat and kept going. “So little. I _swear_ you were nothin’ but eyes.” He chuckled to himself. “I was so scared to hold you. Thought you might break or pop or something if I squeezed too tight and I might drop ya if I held ya too loose.”

He glanced up to find Link watching him with a closed expression on his face. “I loved ya from the first time I saw ya,” he said earnestly. “I wanted to protect you and take care of you and … everything…” Charles shook his head. “You don’t automatically know how to be a parent just because you got a kid, ya know. I’m still just a man and I made a whole lotta mistakes. Mistakes with your mother.” He sought Link’s eyes again. “You.”

Link swallowed, wondering if this were a fifteen year late apology that would do nothing to erase everything that had happened.

“All that girly nonsense? What was I supposed to do with that?”

Rhett came back, settling a cup of coffee loudly in front of Link’s father, then sat down beside his friend. Close enough to offer support, but not so close it looked like Link needed someone to lean on. He handed Link a cup, flavored the way he liked it, then settled back into place, arms folded across his chest.

“I thought you’d thank me, ya know. When you got back…I thought you’d fit in. Not be picked on any more. Your mama used to tell me how isolated you were at school. I didn’t know it was because of…” he waved his hand to indicate Link’s wardrobe. “When I found out you thought of yourself as a girl, well, what the hell was I supposed to do?”

“You coulda just let me be,” Link said quietly, thankful to have the cup in his hands to quiet their trembling.

Charles gripped his own coffee. “I… you weren’t… _normal_ ,” he said as if that were explanation enough. “Your mama…she told me what they did to you…and about that boy Ethan-”

Link’s entire body stiffened before he shot to his feet. “When?!”

“…what?”

“ _When_ did she tell you?!”

“Some time around Christmas of that year. I…wanted to see you, wanted to find out why you didn’t come around anymore. Or call. I knew you were pissed about that camp, but I had no idea and I’m truly sorry. I thought they’d fix you. I didn’t think-”

Link tossed down his coffee cup and it shattered against the hardwood floors, but he didn’t seem to care. “They didn’t _fix_ me cause there’s nothing to fix!”

Charles pushed out his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m not saying that, son. I’m just telling you why I did the things I did. I-”

Link threw out his hands, his face a mask of ravaged pain. “I thought you’d come here to apologize, not remind me of all the reasons you hate me.”

“I don’t hate ya, son-”

“Well, _I_ hate _you_. And I haven’t missed you. Not one single day have I missed you.” His breaths were sharp and fast and he knew he would start crying if he didn’t get away from his father. “You made me feel like I was the one who was wrong. That _I_ was the one who was supposed to change.”

Charles stood up, trying to calm his son, but Link brushed him off, his eyes hard.

Rhett and Charles watched Link vanish into his room again, closing his door with an explosive snap.

“Damn it.” There were worlds of regret and pain in those two words.

He rubbed his hand over his mouth, looking lost and more than a little frustrated and Rhett couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the man. Link had a right to be upset, but Charles didn’t seem like he’d set out to hurt him on purpose. Rhett sucked in a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck, standing so he could face Charles.

“Listen, how long are you gonna be in town?”

Charles rocked on his toes, looking at the spot his son has disappeared into. “’Bout two more days.”

Rhett nodded. “Link’s gonna need some time, okay? You hurt him real bad back then.”

“I was tryna do what was best for h-”

Rhett held up his hand. “Well it wasn’t and that doesn’t matter right now. I think Link was willin’ to forgive you if you’d just started with an apology or asked how he was doing, but you had to bring up the past and that’s something he’s been fightin’ to get over for years.”

“I-I don’t know…I don’t know how to talk to ‘im…or what to say. The right _words_ … I- maybe it’s better if I just - fifteen years…”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Link sat in his bedroom, feeling like that teenage boy all over again. He hadn’t lain eyes on the man in nearly fifteen years and he’d been fine. He _had_ been.

A knock at the door sent him reeling and he looked down at himself, wondering if he had the strength to face his father again. But his hands were shaking and his toes were curling into his carpet, holding him in place.

“Go away!” he snapped out instead.

“Wow.”

Link’s shoulders slumped in relief - Rhett’s voice.

“If you wanted to sound even more like a little kid you could make your voice crack in a coupla places.”

Link rolled his eyes and got to his feet, opening the door for the snarky blonde. “Is he gone?”

“Yeah. But he’s coming back to morrow.”

“Rh-”

The taller man reached out, bracing his hands on Link’s shoulders, his thumbs skimming along his collar bones and Link shivered at the tender touch.

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Link mumbled instead.

Rhett nodded. “I know. I don’t really want you to talk to him either. Not if it’s gonna hurt you. But you’ve been holding onto this resentment for too long and I think he’s genuinely sorry for what happened. You gotta remember that he grew up in a different era. His thoughts are old and outdated and he was scared. He didn’t know what to do with a sassy thing like you.”

“He-”

Rhett held up a finger, tapped it on Link’s nose twice, and continued. “He’s here now. I think he wants to be in your life again. I think you should give him a chance at…I don’t know…at least knowing you as you are now. He clearly knows you aren’t going to change and I think he’s trying.”

Link smirked and leaned toward Rhett. “How can I give advice like this nearly everyday but it just flies out the window when it comes to myself? ‘Don’t let hate rule your life. Forgive even if you can’t forget, but forget where you can.’” He rattled off mantras then sighed looking up at Rhett. “I just never thought I would see him again. I pictured myself in a black dress at his funeral about thirty or forty years from now lamenting all the time we could’ve had together if he hadn’t been so _damn_ close-minded.”

“Oh yeah? A short little number? Those high heels with the red bottoms you only bust out on special occasions?”

A smile worked it’s way across Link’s face and he pressed a hand against Rhett’s chest. “I swear you like those shoes more than I do.”

“It’s not the shoes I’m likin’ when you wear ‘em,” Rhett said, waggling his eyebrows and earning one of Link’s embarrassed but pleased giggles.

“I swear, one day I’m gonna wake up and find you’ve built a shrine to my legs.”

“Already have,” Rhett said. “It’s a little pop up I bring in here every night then take out before you get up in the mornin’.”

“Ch.” Link swatted the taller man’s chest, his sadness quickly forgotten. He’d give his dad a chance. For _his_ sake, not for Charles’s. And for Rhett because he knew it would make the man happy to know Link no longer had that terrible time weighing him down. “I shouldna stormed outa there. Or at least I could’ve said something clever or tossed my hair on the way out.”

Rhett swept his hand up Link’s neck and destroyed Link’s messy bun, taking the dark strands into his hand. “What a glorious exit that woulda been. At least if you talk to him again you’ll have another chance to make that happen.”

“Maybe I should stay pissed at him so you can see how amazing I am at leaving a room.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know,” Rhett said a little gruffly, forcing himself to take his hands off Link’s warm body and shift backwards a step. He rubbed at his eye and focused on anything that wasn’t Link.

“You know what?” Rhett said, tilting his head. “It’s barely four and all we’ve done all day is talk about our feelings. The sun’s still out and I think there’s some kinda festival happening a few blocks over. Put on somethin’ cute and meet at the front door in about a half hour.” He held up a finger. “No, an hour. I know how long it takes you to figure out what to wear, Legs. I swear you make up a chart to weigh the pros and cons of each outfit before you even slip one on.”

Link propped a hand on his hip and jutted it outwards, making his waist look even narrower. Rhett couldn’t help being drawn to the idea of putting his hands around it and pulling Link close, but like he’d done so many times before, he pushed the thought out of his mind.

“It takes time to look this good.”

“Yesterday you said you were just effortlessly glamorous.”

“Well, _yesterday_ , I was.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

The night out had been needed; Partaking in a few more drinks than they usually did, dancing up on people they didn’t know as they bar hopped (Link grinding on a few more than Rhett even dared to look at), eating more than they should’ve from street vendors.

Link now sat with his feet propped on Rhett’s lap, begging for a massage as they put a random show on Netflix.

“Come on,” he pouted, blue eyes large. “If you’d been in those heels for seven hours, you know _you’d_ want one. Just do this for me, _pleeease?_ ”

Rhett thumped at Link’s toes, feeling giddy. “Call Sean. I’m not your personal slave, ya know.”

Link slumped back against the arm of the sofa, the skirt of his blue dress pulling up to reveal even more of his leg. Rhett sucked in a hard breath.

“You suck,” the smaller man glared, slinging an arm over his midsection and turning on his side to focus on what turned out to be the ninth episode of Quantum Leap.

Rhett barely heard him. Link didn’t know how spot on he was about Rhett having a bit of an obsession with his legs. He would look at them all day given the opportunity. If only he could touch them. When Link shifted again, the hem of his skirt rode up even more and Rhett was hard pressed to control the burgeoning erection in his pants. There were reasons he didn’t drink more than he should often. It broke the tight control he had over himself around his best friend. _Jesus,_ if longing could kill, he would’ve been dead a long time ago.

“I would hate to be Sam,” Link said. “I mean, sure it’s fun to have all these different experiences, but being unable to get back to your own timeline?” He shook his head. “And Al gets zapped off more often then not, so he can’t be like a real friend or anything.” Link glanced back at his own best friend. “I would hate to be dragged away from you somewhere. I don’t even know what I’d do by myself.”

“Is this a subtle way of telling me I’m not allowed to go on vacation alone?” Rhett asked trailing a finger over Link’s smooth calf, his heart beat galloping.

Link wriggled down and sat up, leaning an elbow against the back of the couch, his knees across Rhett’s thighs. “I didn’t really think I was bein’ that subtle.”

Rhett laughed, but it sounded strangled even to him. God, Link was hotter than the sun and he never seemed to notice how much Rhett burned beside him. What would Link do if Rhett told him he wanted him? What would he do if he just kissed him? Would it really be so bad? They could talk after. They’d find a way to forgive each other. And maybe Rhett could finally move on knowing for certain that Link didn’t like him that way. Could never like him that way.

Emboldened by a late night and too much liquor, Rhett wrapped a hand lightly above Link’s knee and said softly. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Link smiled and tilted forward, pressing his face into Rhett’s shoulder. “You better not.”

Rhett snaked an arm around Link’s waist and without really thinking about it, pulled him a little until he was nestled on his lap, his face buried in the curve of Rhett’s neck. He inhaled the sweet scent of Link so close to him. He hadn’t known he’d needed this until he’d done it. It felt so good to have him there, weighing down his thighs, lithe waist gripped gently in the curve of his arm.

Rather than shifting away, Link sighed and sank more deeply against his large friend, the woodsy, musky scent of him as familiar as Link’s own. “You ever gonna tell me what you were upset about earlier?” he asked.

“I wasn’t mad,” Rhett said, taking liberties and wrapping both arms around Link, snugging him even closer. “Frustrated, more like.”

“About what?”

Rhett debated what he could answer to that, frowning up at the man who’d known him nearly twenty-five years, marveling at how obtuse he could be. He shifted his head back and Link pulled his head from the crook of Rhett’s neck, looking down into his eyes. Rhett brushed the back of his fingers over Link’s smooth cheeks and watched his pupils dilate slightly. His breath caught somewhere in his chest and he stared in abject wonder. Was Link affected by his touch?

“Rhett, what-”

The sharp intrusion of a cell phone ringing cut Link’s words short and he shifted out of Rhett’s lap, grabbing up the phone he’d placed on the coffee table next to Rhett’s. Link smiled when he saw who was calling and answered immediately, heading to his bedroom so he and Sean could speak in private.

Rhett’s fists clenched on his thighs where Link’s warmth had so recently been and he realized that maybe he hated Sean more than just a little.


	25. Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett finds his body betraying his mind when it comes to his sweet, best friend.

Link sat in his room, completely flustered about what to pack. His jaw was beginning to ache from the tension he was keeping on his teeth, but just thinking about returning to North Carolina always stressed him out. And there were more reasons for stress this year. First of all, his father would now be attending the Christmas celebration and whatever family he’d attached himself to. Secondly, Sean was coming with him. Thirdly, despite having dated for nearly five months, Sean and Rhett were like two cats in a bag. All they did when they were in a room together was exchange terse greetings then flinty eye contact. He’d tried talking to Rhett about it, but his friend would clam up. So then he’d turned to his boyfriend who’d get up in arms about why Link was pretending not to know what the problem was.

Therefore, Link had been planning to return to North Carolina with just Rhett, as usual, but Sean had insisted on coming along. He’d already met Link’s mother at Thanksgiving so he was fairly well-versed on how careful they had to be as a couple when walking around town, so Link hadn’t really understood why Sean had been so hell-bent on coming with him.

He grumbled in the back of his throat and decided to pack more pants than dresses, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to wear them outside of his house anyway. He didn’t like stifling who he was, but he wasn’t going to risk another beating by painting himself as a target. Back home, the judgmental outweighed the people who just plain didn’t care and the supportive were few and far between.

Link had started a program there, but he knew it didn’t see much traffic in the way of teens experiencing what he had. They didn’t want to risk outing themselves, even for help. The on-line resources were being utilized, so that was at least some relief.

“What are you in here sighing about?”

Link turned to find Rhett standing in his doorway. His brow twitched in surprise when he realized the man looked very tired and worn down for some reason. He hoped this vacation managed to perk him up, although he felt that winter North Carolina was a poor excuse for a proper vacation despite the bonus of seeing family. Some foreign sand would be nice. Music to take the mind off things. He sighed again.

“North Carolina. Sean. You. My dad,” Link listed, rolling up a pair of thick tights and fitting them carefully into his carry-on.

“ _Me_?” Rhett asked, looking insulted.

Link rolled his eyes. “I just don’t get why you don’t like Sean. Or why he doesn’t like you. I’ve never seen either of you act the way you’re acting.” He folded his arms. “Now it’s gonna be all extra tense when our families get together on Christmas Eve.”

Rhett’s eyes narrowed and he stepped further into the room. “Well, maybe I would actually like him if he weren’t such a jerk.”

Brown brows arched above the glasses perched on Link’s nose. He’d had to get them when he turned twenty-six and he still wasn’t sure if they cramped his style or made him feel smarter. He at least looked smarter, but for all that, he couldn’t figure out what Rhett was talking about. “He’s not a jerk.”

“The way he looks at me!”

“It’s because _you’re_ looking at him like that first!”

“He deserves it.”

“What’s he ever done to _you_?”

Rhett clammed up, making Link even more agitated. He’d never fought with Rhett as much as he had over this boyfriend. The other ones, Rhett had been at least civil to, and some even friendly with, but somehow, Sean, the most easy-going of them all, had Rhett’s hackles up. And it just seemed to get worse the longer they were together.

“What is this really about?” Link asked, wanting things to be resolved before they stepped foot on their home turf. But Rhett just avoided his eyes and looked pensive. “Have you seen him do something? You find him on predators most wanted? You gotta give me _something,_ Rhett.”

“Can’t I just hate him and avoid him when I have to? Why do you want so bad for me to be all chummy with him?”

Link’s arms gestured wildly as they often did when he spoke. “Cause you’re my best friend and he’s my boyfriend. My very serious boyfriend. We’ve been talking about maybe-” he hadn’t wanted to bring this up until after their holiday together, but he figured now was as good a time as any. “Maybe moving in together.”

Rhett looked like he’d been punched in the gut and his tall frame seemed to shift in the still air of the room. _Serious._ The reason Rhett had found it so easy to be nice to Link’s other boyfriends was because Link had never given him the impression he was serious about them. And Rhett hadn’t been on the verge of proposing a relationship between the two of them. Now it was completely different.

“I really like him, Rhett,” Link said in that soft voice that always made Rhett want to give in. “And I want to start a family before I’m too old to run around with my kids, ya know?”

Rhett brushed a hand over his eyes and swept it down his face. “You think this guy is the one?”

Link started perking up, knowing that tone of voice. “I’m hoping so.”

His friend’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll try harder I guess. I just…I just want you to be happy.”

Link moved across the room and pulled him into a quick hug, that familiar warm spark flitting between them at the brief contact. “I know. And I want you to be happy too, you know. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you putting the grooves on someone.”

“Oh god, who talks like that?”

“Nana.”

Rhett finally laughed, has hand lingering on Link’s back before he moved away and headed out of the room. “Hurry up and finish packing, okay? We need to edit a few more vlogs before we head out since most of the crew took early vacation. Don’t want to leave any disappointed fans.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Hey, little brother. What’s going on with you?”

Rhett looked up as Cole came over to where he’d been sitting on the living room couch and trying to pretend he wasn’t glaring hatefully at Sean and Link across the room, smiling into each other’s eyes as they spoke.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, taking another sip of his beer. It reminded him of the first time he’d drank with Link and Link had come out of his room in that dress. He sucked in a deep breath, then another. He felt like he was falling apart at the seams.

“Dude, all these years and you still haven’t-”

Rhett shook his head. “I had some shit I had to work through. Now there’s-” he waved his hand at the dark-haired man leaning into Link’s personal space.

Cole grimaced and squeezed Rhett’s shoulder. “Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is the path God has laid out for him and has another, better one laid out for you.The Lord-”

Rhett brushed his hand off and stood. “Save your platitudes for your flock, man. I love Link, okay? And maybe that’s not right in your eyes and never will be, but that’s not going to change anything.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath and suddenly realized he’d been speaking a lot louder than he’d intended. He quickly thought over his words and figured he hadn’t said anything too damning, so he just took a few more sips of his beer and wandered closer to the Christmas tree, pretending to look at the ornaments.

He sighed when he felt a touch on his back, recognizing who it belonged to immediately. “Thanks for always defending me to your brother,” Link’s voice said. “I know he doesn’t hate me, heck I practically grew up in this house. I just don’t think he’s ever gonna resign himself to my lifestyle.”

Rhett nodded but didn’t turn around, hearing Link move away eventually. _Just hold out for a few more days,_ he told himself. Y _ou don’t want to fall apart here of all places._

“I fuckin’ knew it.”

The unfamiliar voice was close, so when Rhett snapped around, he was nearly nose to nose with Link’s boyfriend, Sean. Rhett felt a scowl emerge. “Knew what?” he snapped.

“I could see it in your eyes the first time I met you, but Link doesn’t feel the same, so why don’t you just give up?”

“Listen, asshole-”

The man poked a finger into his chest, his eyes hard, but there was also a sense of desperation about him and an unveiled jealousy. “Link’s been agonizing for weeks about moving in because he can’t imagine cutting the umbilical cord. Let him go!”

“Link can do what he wants! And if he’s taking his time to move in with you, let him! He’s careful and organized, he likes to make sure everything’s lined up and in order.”

“You just want to see if he’ll eventually realize how much you want him-”

“Shut up. You have no idea-”

“Are you two speaking parseltongue?” one of Rhett’s cousin’s asked, popping out of nowhere, her blonde, curly hair in a messy and failing braid. “Cause all I hear over here is _sssssss_ , and Aunt Diana’s been trying to get your attention for dinner so.” Having said what she wanted, she flipped her hair, further destroying what little control she had over it, and walked away.

Rhett turned to Sean and grit his teeth, looking down at the man. “Listen, I know how much Link likes you. I just want what’s best for him, okay?”

“And you think you’re it?”

Rhett shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know, but I know I want to be in his life whether he’s with me or not. He’s only gonna keep getting pissed at me if I keep acting like I do around you.” He stuck out his hand and Sean shook it, although a bit hesitantly. “Just don’t break his heart, okay? He’s been through a lot.”

Sean nodded. “I know. I would never hurt him on purpose. He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I guess I just feel threatened by the history of you two. And the fact that you live together, of course.”

They looked each other over for a few minutes and Rhett said suddenly. “I told him once, a long time ago, how I felt about him. And he only says that he loves me like a brother so-”

Sean winced sympathetically. “And nothing’s changed since?”

Rhett gnawed on his lip and that was answer enough to Sean who’d been friendzoned more than once. “I just- I love him. More than I even know what to do with.” He felt his eyes prickling and covered the sudden roughness in his throat with another swallow of beer. “And for so long that sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.”

Sean looked a little uncomfortable by the confession and turned out to be one of those guys who folded his arms by sticking his hands into his pits. “I’m - uh- gonna go in to dinner.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Link sitting beside Mama Di’s place near the head of the table was grateful that Rhett and Sean seemed to be having a civil conversation, though it appeared they’d been arguing moments before. Maybe Rhett was finally coming around to see what a nice guy Sean was.

“You’re an asshole.”

Link’s eyebrows shot up and he turned to find Cole seated on the other side of him. “What did you just say?”

“I said you’re an asshole. I may be a pastor but I’m still the guy who’s gotta sit here and watch my brother try to be friends with your boyfriend for _your_ sake.”

“They’re both important to me, of course I want them to be friends.”

Cole made an impatient sound and grabbed Link by his elbow, dragging him outside into the cold, winter air. Link pressed his arms around himself and glared at Cole. They were nearly the same height, so he didn’t feel intimidated in the least. “What-”

The blond man razed a hand through his hair, then grimaced. “I always thought you were a dumb kid.”

“Hey!”

The older man shook his head and smiled a little bit. “I don’t know what Rhett sees in you, but I know he’s miserable right now and all you care about is that boyfriend of yours. Rhett’s been there for you longer, but have you ever been there for him?”

“Of course I have! I-”

“Do you even know why he’s really upset right now? Have you even paid attention to what his life is like except for how it revolves around you?”

“That’s not-”

“Do you know if he’s dated anyone in the past year? Two years?”

“He has, but nothing serious.” Link tilted his head, thinking. “He would tell me if he were.”

Cole sighed and seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, before he spoke again with resignation. “Link, listen. I know you’re a good person, okay? Just talk to my brother and be, I don’t know, just listen more, I guess. Pay attention. Don’t let him off the hook just because he makes you laugh. Force him to tell you what’s really going on, okay? Maybe not tonight, but soon. I think it would be good for…for both of you.”

With that he turned a bright red, pinched his lips together, then disappeared back into the house. Link blinked after him wondering what in the world was going on with him, then shifted his attention through the window where he could see Rhett still standing near the Christmas tree. He was alone now and still nursing that beer he’d had in his hand since they’d shown up to his parent’s house.

Link studied his face and realized that there was a tight sadness around his friend’s eyes. Had been there for a long time. He sucked in a deep breath wondering how he could’ve been so self-absorbed to have missed it. He resolved to kidnap Rhett some time tomorrow morning, taking him out to the talking rocks they would go to as kids when they needed to discuss something serious and get this all figured out. He’d sit on the listening rock and hoped Rhett would open up. The guy really liked to keep his feelings to himself though.

He went back inside to Mama Di and asked if she’d be up around seven to let him in and she nodded, squeezing his arm. He hoped that whatever was bothering Rhett wasn’t something too serious.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett spent the rest of the evening on the fringes of the party, trying to make himself as invisible as possible. He didn’t feel like speaking to his brother again who kept blinking over at him with an odd look in his eye and an uncomfortable smile. Sean kept avoiding him, which was to their mutual relief. A few seconds in the guy’s presence was enough. He’d reached his polite-ness quotient on that front.

He came to life when it was time to say goodnight and was careful to keep any of the tumultuous emotions off his face when he hugged Link goodnight. Sean barely glanced at him on the way out the door. Sue squoze him extra tight and looked sympathetic when she pecked him on the cheek.

His head felt like it weighed a ton when he went to bed that night in his old room, now converted to another guest room, but it still had a few old pictures of him. Him by himself. With a group of friends. The old band. Link.

His heart seemed to tighten in his chest when he thought about Link and the first time he realized he was attracted to him. _Jesus_ he’d been beautiful that day, his hair haloed by the sunlight.

Rhett closed his eyes, then opened them later, the vision of his dreams before him. A gasp of breath caught in his throat and he reached out for his dream. He trembled with how real it felt, that smooth, firm skin. Those startling blue eyes. And those lips.

His dreams were the only places he was allowed to taste them, so he propped himself on his elbow and groaned at the flavor. Sweet and minty and-

Rhett’s eyes snapped open and he pushed himself back on the bed.

_Real._


	26. Precious You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett finally speaks from his heart, but maybe a little too soon.

Link wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled them up so he could rest his chin on his knees. The rock was cold and hard beneath his bottom, but he barely noticed it with the raging dialog going on in his head. Rhett kissed him. Rhett had kissed him.

He glanced out of the corners of his eyes so he could look up at Rhett, sitting on the talking rock, without being too obvious. Sure, he’d pretty much been asleep at the time, but Rhett had kissed him.

Link chewed on his bottom lip, then stopped hastily blushing, remembering yet again that Rhett had kissed him. Not like he’d actually forgotten or anything.

“Dude, are you even listening to me? You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn and now you’re just sitting there watching the grass grow.”

Link struggled to align his thoughts to Rhett’s words and scoffed. “It’s the middle of winter, dude. I don’t think it’s doin’ much growin’.”

Rhett forcefully held back a sigh. “What did you want to talk about anyway?”

“Erm,” Link twined his fingers together, popped them, then folded them together again. “I wanted to know what you’re so upset about.”

Rhett sighed, he’d thought they’d settled that conversation back in California. “I’m not. I told you.”

“But you’ve been all grouchy and snappy. Especially to me and Sean. What’s going on and don’t beat around the bushes or anything. Just be up front, man.”

A few brown birds hopped around in the low bushes, but mostly the winter morning was silent.

“And it’s not just you being angry all the time. You look sad too. I didn’t notice how sad until your brother pointed it out.” He looked up to his friend, blond hair haloed by the mellow light, propped up against a solid blue sky. “I hate to think I’ve been being a shitty best friend to you.”

Rhett’s thick brows arched down in the center, giving him a fierce look, then they suddenly drooped. He spoke, his voice quiet in the still air. “Yeah, Link. I’m sad. I’m pissed. I’m all those things you and my brother think I am and more. I’m jealous, I’m lonely, and I’m fuckin’ miserable.”

Link’s expressive face twitched in surprise. He’d never heard Rhett sound so…so defeated. “You know you can tell me anything, Rhett.”

His mouth pinched and his head shifted from side to side in denial. There was honest, then there was being honest, and there was laying your heart totally on the floor for it to be trampled and trodden to bits and pieces.

“Rhett?” Link insisted, standing up and reaching until he could place a hand on his friend’s jean-clad knee.

Surprisingly, Rhett reached out and laid his hand gently on top of his, wrapping his long fingers around the back until they caressed Link’s palm. Link sucked in a startled breath.

“What did you feel?” Rhett asked, snapping Link’s attention from their joined hands.

“Huh…what?”

Rhett dropped down from the rock so they could stand face to face, completely breaking tradition, but neither of them cared much anymore. They needed to talk and the old format didn’t really seem to be working out.

“This morning…when I kissed you.”

Link’s lips pressed together as if he were trying to hide them and he snatched his hand out of Rhett’s. “Nothing, dude. I know you were half asleep and probably dreamin-”

“About you.”

His head was hanging as if he were ashamed, his eyes on his shoes disappearing into the withering grass.

“What?” Link’s heart seemed to have stopped beating for a moment, before it started up again, sending a rush of blood and sound to his ears to the point he couldn’t really hear anymore. The world kind of went silent and Rhett’s mouth was moving. Words were coming out, but he couldn’t hear a thing. “What?” he asked again.

Rhett’s expression turned stormy with anger. “Is it really so hard to believe that I’m attracted to you?!” he snapped. “I have been for so long that I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t. I’m tired of you telling everyone that I’m nothing but a big brother to you because it makes me feel like some kind of sick pervert for wanting you.”

Link turned, pressing his hand against the rock to stay on his feet. He felt dizzy and uncoordinated and more than a little shocked.

“I don’t…I thought…”

“Link, babe. Have you _ever_ , even for a moment, wondered-”

Link sliced his hand through the air, cutting off Rhett’s words. He needed time to think, to process. Why did his legs feel so unsteady? His mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour leaving him utterly numb. fig

He felt fingertips brush gently against the side of his face, then Rhett was there, his shoulders blocking some of the light. He shivered.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Rhett,” his voice was barely more than a whisper. “But I can’t think about this right now.”

“Babe-”

How many times had he called him that? For how long?

“My brain’s not workin’ or something. I can’t seem to-” Link shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

It was pointless to move out since they still saw each other at work all the time, but they barely spoke when they weren’t on camera for their skits or awkwardly making their way through a vlog. Link still couldn’t seem to focus his thoughts. His mind felt dull and foreign. Things with Sean kind of fell apart since he couldn’t talk to him about what was bothering him. Every time he’d been with the other man, all he’d been able to see was Rhett’s desolate expression when he walked away from him that day. He’d felt like a total asshole leaving Rhett in that field, but he figured he owed Rhett an honest answer, an honest conversation, and that couldn’t happen when he was reeling from finding out his best friend wanting more than friendship out of him.

Sometimes he tried to imagine what it would be like with Rhett, but his imagination would always shut down. Un uhn. No way. Not going there.

If they ever started anything, it would have to be forever. Link didn’t want to lose Rhett’s friendship should things not work out. But he also didn’t want Rhett to keep going through the pain of seeing him with someone else.

Would things really be so bad if they- un uhn.

Link was still agonizing on it while he sat at their dining table, sun streaming in through their floor length windows, the California sun battling the UV tinted glass.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett stretched after he rolled out of bed, paying special attention to his lower back muscles. They needed to be strengthened if he didn’t want to risk a shifted disk. As usual when the house was quiet, the wondered what Link was getting up to, and what he was wearing while he was doing whatever he was doing. It was still pretty early, a little before eight, so he was most likely traipsing around in one of his cute silk bathrobes and humming something while he sipped his coffee, pink lips pursed on the rim of one of their mugs.

He groaned and got to his feet, pulling a pair of sleeping pants over his underwear. His heart nearly stopped when he made it to the living room.

“God you’re beautiful.”

Link’s head snapped up at the quiet words, dark hair shifting around his wide shoulders. Even though it was early, Link was already dressed in a cute pink jumper, flattering against his tan skin. His cheeks flushed when Rhett’s words registered and he looked down at the table.

Rhett made his way over, his steps slow, awkwardness between them that hadn’t been there before the confession. But at least Link knew and that was something. And he hadn’t left. And Sean was gone. And Link was still there. With him.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from Link, his foot accidentally bumping Link’s before he hastily removed it.

“So,” Rhett said. “You ever planning on actually talking to me again or…”

Nervous fidgeting was his only answer and blue eyes that would flit to him and away again.

He sighed. “Let’s play a game.”

Link shifted in his seat, then sat up a little straighter, his face showing some life. “Um…okay.”

He went into the kitchen, searched until he found a lemon, then cut it into halves. He placed one in front of Link on a tiny paper plate, then took one for himself on the opposite side of the tiny table.

Link looked at him, confusion and curiosity plain on his face.

“We ask each other questions, ten each. You go first. You have to answer in less than two seconds. No thinking, just responses, first thing that comes to your head. If you think too long, you have to lick the lemon.”

“Geez, Rhett.”

“If we don’t talk now, Link, I’m scared that we’ll never be able to talk to each other properly again. We can’t let over twenty years of friendship just go down the drain.”

Link rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes uncertain, but he placed his fingers around the lemon. His mouth worked, lips fluttering as he created, then discarded questions in his mind. Rhett knew Link wished he had a sheet of paper to write them down on so he could figure out how to word them properly, but neither of them wanted to leave the table.

Link finally looked up at Rhett through his dark lashes, shifting his bangs with a flick of his head.

“Why did you want to be my friend?”

“I liked the way you looked at me like I was the coolest person in the world,” Rhett answered immediately, remembering how Link had stared at him so long ago on the first day of first grade.

Link huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Why did you stay my friend?”

“You were different than anybody else I knew.”

“What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Your stupid eyes.”

Link rolled said eyes, but couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. He put down his lemon and tapped a fingertip on the table. “When were you first attracted to me?”

“That day you confessed Amber wasn’t your girlfriend.”

Link blinked in surprise, thinking back, then snapped his eyes to his friend. “That was before I even told you I see myself as a girl…” He scrubbed his fingers through his bangs, rearranging them then leaning back in his seat, gnawing on his already ragged fingernails. “Are you over your aversion to dicks?”

Rhett’s hands squeezed around his mug and he nodded. “It took a lot of work, some counseling. I haven’t tried anything yet, well with another person anyway.” His cheeks turned ruddy and he couldn’t meet Link’s eyes. “But…I don’t freeze up like I used to.”

“You went to counseling?”

“Yeah. Every Thursday.”

“Ah, instead of the gym?”

Rhett grinned. “Yeah.”

“So that’s why you still look a little soft in the middle.”

“Dude!”

Link smirked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rhett blushed. “I’m not sure.”

Link cocked a brow but didn’t ask the question again. He was running out of questions anyway. “Are you in love with me or just lusting after me?”

“Both.”

Link rolled his eyes so hard Rhett felt they were in danger of falling out of his face. “What do you see for us in say ten years or so?”

“A family. Us married. Two dads. The dadliest of dads. And at least two kids.”

Link folded his arms across his rib cage, his expression again looking a bit distant, but he said. “Your turn.”

Rhett sifted through everything he wanted to know. He couldn’t start off with something like ‘ _are you in love with me_?’ since it was pretty clear Link wasn’t. He raked a hand through morning tangled hair. 

“Have you ever been attracted to me?”

“Yes.”

One word answer, the cheat. Rhett sighed and realized he’d have to think about his questions a little more carefully.


	27. Sweet Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett finally gets the date he's craved for so long, but will it turn out the way he wants?

Half an hour. That’s how long he’s been staring at me, Link thought, feeling nervous under the scrutiny as Rhett thought of his next nine questions. How Rhett could manage to be silent and still for so long, Link would never know. He’d crossed, uncrossed, and recrossed his legs in the amount of time it’d taken for Rhett to blink. He’d chewed his nails to the quick and had nothing left to chew, especially not with the way his teeth were shaped.

He sighed and glared across the table about to snap, but Rhett opened his mouth.

“I love you.”

Link’s jaw dropped, worked soundlessly, then shut again.

“How did that make you feel?”

“Confused.” Link pressed his lips together though it was too late to take the word back. Not that he wanted to. Not really.

Rhett grinned and Link felt himself blush.

“About what?”

“About how you mean it and…how I want you to mean it.”

Rhett tilted his head and leaned his elbows on the table, causing his sloping shoulders to drift up toward his ears. “And how do you want me to mean it?”

Link parted his lips, hesitated, then took a few licks of his lemon. His eyes drifted over the table top, taking in the grains of the wood Rhett loved so much. He’d been living with in some capacity for about ten years. Was it really so crazy that Rhett was in love with him?

“How do you want me to mean it?”

He licked at his lemon like it was saving his life. Rhett’s lips on his. That kiss. Barely a kiss. Two lips just touching. Well two pairs of lips. Four lips if he were being honest. Touching.

“How do you want me to mean it?”

Jesus that lemon was sour. Link’s face scrunched and he put it back down on his plate.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Link twitched at the change in question but answered quickly enough. “Sure.”

Rhett smiled happily and Link felt a twinge of pleasure at making his friend happy.

“Friday night at seven?”

Link’s brain started stuttering again. Things were moving too fast weren’t they? Wait, did he even want things to move? “O-okay.”

“And can I kiss you at the end of the night?”

“Rhett~” he protested, not seeing Rhett’s smirk.

“So it’s alright if I woo you?”

Link found himself giggling at Rhett’s choice of words and nodding despite his reservations. Would it really be so bad to date someone he cared about and who cared about him? But what if things ended badly? What if-

“Don’t over think it,” Rhett said, breaking into his thoughts. “Don’t plan it out. Don’t look at how it might end, huh? Just, give it a chance.”

Link had a tendency of worrying while at the same time being a tad impulsive. Both aspects of his personality often got him into trouble, but it also could lead him to do something he’d never expected of himself.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and glanced across at Rhett through his lashes. His best friend was handsome, he’d give him that, but that wasn’t all. He was also kind, smart, and open-minded. Funny when he wasn’t being entirely lame. He knew just about everything there was to know about Rhett…except what it would be like to date him. He felt his heart flutter at that thought.

———————————————————————————————————

The days leading up to the date were tense ones for both of the men. They had no idea what to expect from the other. There were going into this with shaking hearts and sweaty palms. Rhett made sure to keep a napkin in his pocket so he wouldn’t leave a big sweat print on Link’s back were he guiding him around the restaurant. Link made sure not to drink coffee so he wouldn’t be more jittery and shaky than he already was.

The evening of the date, Link agonized over which outfit to wear. Rhett had told him they were going to a ‘fancy’ restaurant. That could mean anything from expensive bar-b-q to something completely exotic. He kind of wished they were just going for pizza so Rhett wouldn’t end up nitpicking at him for not trying new foods. He wasn’t sure he could handle new foods with his stomach jumping around and making him feel sick already.

He decided to wear something loose so as not to put any more pressure on his stomach. He chose pale blue tent-cut halter style dress made of a think chiffon with a sheath underneath. It hit him mid-thigh and flattered his toned shoulders. He slipped on a pair of nude heels, then completely rethought his outfit. He sighed and went back to square one, holding up different dresses in front of his body. Geez he’d been at it two hours.

Rhett meanwhile was already dressed and sitting in the living room, fiddling with his keys and wondering if Link was having second thoughts about going on the date with him. He’d been worried all week that Link would change his mind and say it wasn’t worth risking their friendship. But Rhett felt that it was. It was truly worth the risk.

He blew out a deep breath and commanded himself to patience. He instead went over his plans for the night. He and Link already knew each other so well, so conversation should be fine. Unless they were both too nervous. Dinner would go well if he could just remember not to nag Link about his food and how slowly he ate. It wouldn’t really help his cause to make Link mad at him. Then a nice walk near the beach maybe. Depending how comfortable Link’s heels were. Then a bar. Get just a little buzzed but not too much. And a kiss at the end of the night. He really hoped things would work out that way.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Link ran his hands over the black silk, cotton blend pants he’d chosen to wear and hung his purse on the back of his chair. He tried not to fidget, but he just couldn’t help it. He shuffled his fork from one side of the plate to the other and nearly knocked over his glass of water. Rhett just kept smirking at him from the moment he’d exited his bedroom to the minute he sat across from him at the table.

“You look good in red,” Rhett said, his cheeks plumping as his eyes roamed over Link’s torso. He wore a soft, red, cashmere sweater that bridged the gap between feminine and masculine. It made his eyes seem bluer than ever, especially paired with a classy smudge of dark eyeliner. He’d simply braided his long hair and swept it over one shoulder. “Sexy.”

Now Link blushed to match his top and Rhett’s smile got even bigger. He’d forgotten how bold Rhett could be once he decided to go for something. He was an all or nothing kind of guy.

“Want to do the love questions?” he asked.

Link rolled his eyes. “I don’t know if I want to play anymore question games with you. The first one lead to this date. Who knows where the next one’ll get me.”

“Maybe just a second date,” Rhett leered. “Or maybe…” he waggled his eyebrows and Link chuckled.

“I haven’t even un-friendzoned you yet.”

“You will by the end of the night. Then we’ll just have to figure out if we’re sleeping in my room or yours.”

Link sputtered and had to suppress his words until the waiter, who’d darted in to take their order, left.

“I’m not sleeping with you tonight,” he stage-whispered, looking scandalized. “I don’t sleep with anybody on the first date.”

“The second?”

“Jesus! No!”

“But you didn’t say you’d never sleep with me, so I’m taking that as being out of the friend-zone.”

“Jerk.”

Rhett just looked proud of himself and shrugged his shoulders.

The night passed quickly with an endless amount of flirting on Rhett’s part, then Link’s when he couldn’t resist giving back as good as he got. He felt himself relaxing into the idea of Rhett as a romantic partner more as the night wore on. He was gentle, understanding, but all of those other annoying things that made Rhett, Rhett. And he wasn’t completely changing that either.

“Do you act like this with all your dates?” Link asked, wrapping his arm through Rhett’s and leaning against him as they strolled down the sidewalk. The salt from the distant ocean still managed to find them and tickle their nostrils even deep in the city. Link shivered a little and pulled himself even closer to the furnace of his best friend.

“Charming?”

“Like a total asshole.” Link laughed, elbowing gently to tell him he was kidding. “But you didn’t have to force me to eat that olive just so it would ‘enhance my pasta experience’,” he said with air quotes and a roll of his eyes.

“Did it?”

“You know I almost vomited all over the waiter.”

“Woulda made my night if you did.”

Link shook his head. “You’re on the verge of not getting that kiss.”

He glanced up to find Rhett pouting and laughed.

“Did you know that you were my first crush?” he asked softly, feeling satisfied by Rhett’s surprised expression. “First grade, the reason I kept looking at you, I was trying to figure out what color your eyes were. And you were so tall.”

“What happened to that crush?”

Link shrugged. “You were straight. You kept talking about girls and their cute pigtails and stuff. Plus, you threw my hair bow in the trashcan. I don’t crush on boys who throw away my hair bows.”

Rhett laughed. “I was a big-eyed jerk back then.”

“You’re a big-eyed jerk now.”

“Who loves you.”

Link’s lips quirked in a grin. “That counts for something, I guess.”

Rhett pulled Link’s arm from his, then slipped his hand down so he could link his fingers with Link’s. “Does dating me still feel weird to you?”

Link flexed his knees. “It’s going to take a while, I think. I mean-”

He wrapped an arm and Link’s waist, snapping him to his chest like he was in some kind of romance novel.

“Dude-”

His words were cut off by Rhett’s mouth on his, prickly beard against his smooth skin.

 _Did my heart stop beating?_ He wondered, then gasped in a needed draft of air and Rhett’s tongue slipped into his mouth.

He surprised himself with a low moan and shoved at Rhett, blinking up at him in shock.

Rhett seemed startled as well, staring in wonder at Link’s flushed face and glazed eyes.

“Y-you weren’t supposed to kiss me until the end of the night.”

Rhett licked his lips. “I could always kiss you again…”

Link played with the fabric of Rhett’s shirt with his free hand and gave Rhett an adorably shy smile. “You could…”

“Later?”

Link bit his lip and shook his head.

“Now?”

Link giggled when Rhett leaned down toward him, but kept his chin down. It felt good to be this close to Rhett. He’d always been a comforting presence, and now he was doing all kinds of things to Link’s insides. Strange and wonderful things the giant of a man had never made him feel before. Who knew a kiss could drive you insane? Cause that’s how Link was feeling. Suddenly so nervous and capable of doing just about anything.

He felt Rhett’s fingers brush against his face and shivered. _Wow, wow, wow._

Rhett tilted Link’s face up, enjoying looking at him for a few more moments before pressing their lips together again, learning what each others lips felt like. Tasted like. Then he chuckled and pulled away. “Ew. I really shouldn’t’ve taunted you into eating that olive.”

Link glared at him, then discreetly checked his breath before grimacing and digging through his purse for a piece of gum. “You’re such a-”

“Handsome man?”

Link forced himself not to roll his eyes and scowl.

“Butthole.”

“Woah! Dude, we just started dating. Now you’re talkin’ bout buttholes and-”

Link tried not to laugh but it just burst out of him. He really shouldn’t encourage him.

“I really think we should go on at least three more dates before we get down to that.”

“You’re secretly ninety years old, ain’t ya?”

“For me to know and you to find out.”

“That hasn’t been in for about fifteen years, man.”

“I’m hip.”

“Yeah, if you consider an old hipster, hip.”

“I do.”

“Well, I’m so glad you’re cool in your own mind.”

“And yours too, babe.”

Link scoffed. “You’re actually somewhere closer to Mr. Rogers in shades.”

“Is that what you picture when you fantasize about me?”

Link’s shoulders shook and his face twisted at the mental image.

“He did have nice cardigans.”

Rhett sputtered with laughter and slung his arm around Link’s shoulders. “Let’s get a little more in depth with these fantasies when we get home. Kay, babe?”

Link smiled, but didn’t argue.


	28. Old Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link have reached a new stage in their romantic relationship, but can they go all the way?

Rhett slipped into the pair of heels, then glared when Link kept giggling at him as he staggered around like a newborn deer. He looked pitifully into the camera for fan support, but this was a challenge the fans themselves at set for when they reached the 400th episode of their internet series. They’d asked the fans what they wanted to see from them in celebration and they’d asked for a clothes swap. Now here Rhett was in a black sheath dress and black heels while Link stood across from him in a denim jacket, a dark shirt, and distressed skinny jeans. His dark hair was slicked at the sides and rolled on the top, so it nearly looked like a classic male hair style until he turned around and you saw his long, thick, low ponytail swaying down his back.

“Come here, sit down before you break your ankles,” Link giggled again, taking his elbow and guiding him to a chair.

Rhett grumbled at the gentle manhandling, but willingly sank down with a sigh as Stevie, a woman they’d added to their crew a few months back, called out the next prompt. Makeup. He wondered what his dad would say when he watched this episode. Or his brother. Or any of the guys who’d been on the basketball team with him growing up. He and Link hadn’t yet announced to their fans that they were together, and the amount of touching they did on their vlogs was pretty much at the same level it had always been. But there was beginning to be a little speculation and Rhett couldn’t figure out if he minded or not. Some days he felt nervous about his family finding out before he told them, wondering what their reaction would be. Other days he wanted to shout it from the roof tops and poor reactions be damned.

“Open your mouth and pull your lips tight,” Link commanded, a tube of pink lipstick in his hand.

Dark brows contracted at the words and Rhett’s face contorted in an attempt to follow through and just about everybody on set burst out laughing. He grimaced inwardly. Most days he loved that their employees were more like friends, but other days he wished they were a little more afraid of him as a boss. Link himself was smirking at how difficult a job he was having trying to get the color onto Rhett’s lips rather than in his beard.

“This would’ve been easier in college,” Link said. “Probably woulda looked a whole lot better too.”

Rhett frowned, looking like a sad clown and Link laughed at him again, dabbing on some blush and pressing it into his cheeks.

“Friend’s’ll hurt your worse than your worst enemy,” Rhett grumbled when Link moved on to fixing up his eyes.

“Now, the finishing touch,” Link said, tossing a wig onto Rhett’s head and pinning it in place. “Now you’re the most beautiful bearded lady in California.”

“Not the world?”

“Nope,” Link said with a grin, not even bothering to hide how much he was loving this. Rhett always complained about how long it took for him to get ready for their dates. Now he understood the long process Link went through to feel nice for him. Link knew he looked okay without all of the brush and polish, but he loved how it highlighted some of his features. How certain dresses could hide his masculine form. How certain liners and shadows brought out the color and shape of his eyes and detracted from the low ridge of his brow. How just a few strokes of a pencil could give his brows a bit of an arch rather than the sloping straight lines they currently were.

He could see that Rhett felt different now that he looked different. But rather than confident and comfortable like the makeup and clothes made Link feel, he could tell that Rhett actually was insecure, even though he kept blinking over at himself in their monitor and angling his head in different ways as if he were trying to find the correct degree to make him look prettiest. Link decided to ease up a bit on his teasing.

“But to me, you’re the most beautiful bearded lady in the universe.”

He smirked when he saw Rhett blush happily beneath the layer of foundation, cheeks rounding.

The rest of the episode ran smoothly and Rhett stopped sloping his shoulders in an attempt to shrink his 6’7” frame. He stopped being self-conscious and even asked if Link would help his change his lipstick color halfway through the episode.

“You’re getting better in those,” Link acknowledged, pointing to Rhett’s heeled feet as he clipped-clopped into the dressing room.

Rhett’s face flushed in pleasure and he walked over to stand next to Link, now nearly seven feet tall in the gleaming shoes. He put his hands on Link’s shoulders, then settled his chin on top of his head. “I love how small you look from way up here.”

Link couldn’t help the warmth that spread through his body. He hated to admit that he loved feeling smaller next to Rhett too. None of his previous boyfriends had been so much taller and he loved the extra height the shoes gave Rhett. He chewed on his lip as he thought about how they would look in public of Rhett wore a nice pair of one or two inch heeled boots to give him that extra kick of height and if Link always wore flats. He leaned back against Rhett and sighed at the thought.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” Rhett asked, kneading his fingertips into Link’s shoulders, giving him a gentle massage. Sometimes he felt like they could take things further than the marathon make-out sessions they’d been having the past few weeks, but something always stopped them from doing anything more. He couldn’t tell where the hesitation came from, but some days he wanted his hands all over Link so badly he ached. Today was one of those days. Seeing Link look so small and dressed in all that denim reminded him of high school Link. Back when he’d just assumed his attraction was a possessiveness of his best friend.

“What do you think about cowboy boots?” Link asked, tilting his head to the side and meeting his friends eyes in the large mirror.

“Um…they’re okay…” he answered cautiously, wondering where this was going.

“I was thinkin’ we could do a trade.”

“Yeah?…”

“I stop wearing my heels and you can stop worrying about me falling down and breaking my ankles all the time, even though I’ve gotten really good at them over the years.”

“And what will I have to do?” Rhett asked, a little worried about the condition.

“And you wear some heeled cowboy boots instead.”

Rhett’s brow scrunched, wondering where this weird request was coming from, then focused back on their reflections in the mirror, his form towering over Link’s and for the first time in more than two months, he kissed Link somewhere besides the cheek or the lips. He opened his mouth and pressed it against the back of Link’s neck and heard him let out a little squeal of surprise.

“Kay.”

He licked at the slightly salty skin and his grip on Link’s shoulders tightened. “But don’t give up on those heels entirely, now, babe. I love how your legs look in ‘em way too much to see em go.”

“I thought you loved watchin’ me go,” Link said with a waggle of his brows.

Rhett chuckled and stepped away from him. “I do. Now lets get outta these getups. I’m missin that little sun dress you wore to work today and lord knows I make one ugly woman.”

“You’re not so bad.”

“Your eyes are broken if you think that’s true.”

“My eyes _are_ broken,” Link said, fiddling with his glasses and grinning wide.

Rhett rolled his eyes, but laughed anyway. “I’m gonna go put some proper pants on.”

He turned, but was surprised when he felt a slim, but muscular arm wrap around his waist and a warm body press against his back. Firm hands drifted down to the hem of his sheath dressed and touched his firm thighs. He moaned and his knees nearly gave away as he tried to remember the last time he’d been touched there. Years. His body was no way prepared for that quick touch from Link.

“I don’t know if I can keep the nickname ‘Legs’ with you walkin’ around lookin’ like this,” Link said and had to touch the firm thigh again. He’d never expected his attraction to Rhett to be like this. He thought the gentle affections of friendship would be all he’d feel. Then he’d opened his eyes. Or rather had his eyes opened. A kiss from Rhett had him shaking in his boots, well his heels, or just on his bare feet if he weren’t dressed up that day. There was always so much emotion poured into one of his kisses. So much history. Longing. Want. Almost a _need._ It made Link feel good from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.

“Oh, it’s all yours, babe,” Rhett mumbled, suddenly not in so much of a hurry to get out of the tight clothes.

“You or the nickname?” Link teased.

“Both,” Rhett said seriously.

Link touched his long leg one more time before backing away. It was almost kind of overwhelming to touch Rhett in such an obviously sexual manner. He let out a little laugh and tugged on the hem of the gene jacket, not really knowing what to do with his hands all of a sudden. Rhett had some impressive thighs and he didn’t know if they wouldn’t end up rushing into something if he didn’t get out of that room. He bit his lip. 

“I’m actually just gonna wear this home. You go ahead and change then we can head out, okay?”

Rhett looked at him with so much surprise, Link might as well have told him he was a serial killer. It was understandable considering how infrequently Link wore such obviously masculine clothing. He still looked beautiful to Rhett though, so Rhett finally just shrugged and nodded. Once the smaller man left the room, he popped a hand on his hip and stuck out one knee, looking at himself in the mirror.

“Cowboy boots, huh?”

————————————————————————————————————————————

“Hey, Amber,” Link said into the phone. It’d been a few months since they’d last spoken. They both tended to get caught up in their own lives every once in a while. He knew she’d just had a baby so she’d been getting into the mom role as well as she could before she had to go back to work. He listened to her gush about her and Rob’s baby daughter for a while before he finally brought up the topic he’d called her about.

*No way!* She shouted into the phone so loudly he had to pull it away from his ears.

“Yes, way,” he said, settling onto his bed and curling his long legs beneath him, his silky nightgown rustling against his skin.

*Oh, my god! I’m so happy for you guys! I never would’ve thought. But also it kind of makes sense. But _whoa._ I mean-*

Link laughed, cutting her off. “Yeah. I thought we’d always just be friends too. Even after that confession a long time ago, you remember? Anyway. It’s still kind of weird to me. He’s been my friend for so long, you know? I still feel a little strange about-” Link blushed even though he certainly was no virgin. Thinking about how intense it might be with Rhett got him a little flustered though. On the the other hand, he was kind of worried they might not be compatible in that manner. Or the sexual tension and chemistry he thought they were feeling might just turn out to be some misguided miscalculation.

*Having sex with him?* Amber supplied with a tinkling laugh. He could hear a baby’s burbling giggle in the background and smiled even though he was blushing harder than ever.

“Yeah. I mean. You know the trouble he had with his sexuality in college? What if he sees my- ya know-”

*Geez, Link, sweetheart. Penis. I swear you’ve gotten more conservative every birthday. Next thing I know, you’re gonna be saying things like ‘ _hijinks’_ and ‘ _hoodlums_ ’.*

He rolled his eyes. “What if it turns him off?” Link asked with real worry, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as he clutched his bedspread. “Maybe I shoulda got that operation when I finally saved up enough money for it.”

*You knew it was better off to pour that money back into the business, and look how well it’s grown. And I know Rhett well enough to know he wouldn’t want you to make some kinda decision like that just because of him. Or does it still bother you?*

Link thought back to how messed up he was as a kid about wanting to be a girl but his mom not having the money for more than getting him a few dresses. No way could they have afforded an extensive hormone treatment then later a breast augmentation and a  sex reassignment surgery. He’d struggled with that for a long time, but he’d finally come to terms with it. Now he liked his flat chest and how he could flatter his own frame with the right clothing. He also didn’t really mind tucking away his penis or seeing it there when he was naked. At a party a few years ago, he’d met a man who’d gently called him a two-for-one deal while trying to slip him his number on a business card. No, it didn’t still bother him. But he worried it would bother Rhett. He couldn’t stand to see disgust in his best friend’s eye if they were to take it further than the light touches and heavy kisses.

“No, it doesn’t. I’m just worried about-”

*I know, sweetheart. But if he can’t get over it, then maybe you guys weren’t meant to be together. I’m thinking though, that if it took him this long to tell you about his feelings again, then he’s ready. Heck, he might have been ready back then if it were you, ya know. He loves you so much. I remember the dirty looks he’d give me back in high school when he felt like I was taking your time away from him. Just remember that he’s had a few issues with his sexuality too, Link. He’s bisexual. So seeing your dangly male bits under some cute little skirt probably isn’t gonna scare him off anymore.*

Link’s whole face went red as he thought about just that scenario.

*Anyway, I gotta get my chubby little baby to sleep. Stop by the next time you’re out this way so you can help me change a diaper or two. And talk to Rhett about this. I got enough penis to deal with on my own,* she said when he heard the gruff laugh of her husband join her words on the phone.

Link grimaced and said goodbye before hanging up and putting his phone on his nightstand. He looked down at himself and the slight bulge he could see beneath his silken outfit and hoped to god Amber was right.


	29. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett's inability to touch Link in the way he wants, leads to the application of a few beers to see where they can take the night.

“Geez, Link. Are you really hiding out at my house again?”

The person in question pulled their long, smooth legs up onto the couch and grimaced at the television.

Eric was back in Los Angeles for a few months while their band, The Peep Show, was on break, recovering from a year-long tour. He had a fairly large house that Link liked to crash at whenever he had the opportunity, and he’d been taking the opportunity quite often in the past two months.

“I just can’t look at him right now.”

Eric sighed and sank onto the sofa beside him, passing him a beer that he just held in his hands but didn’t drink.

“You could try talking to him again,” Eric suggested. He’d become a lot more relationship-wise after he’d gotten married. His partner, Max, was visiting a sister somewhere in a different state at the moment.

“All talking does is lead to arguing and more hurt feelings. I don’t know if I can handle another like the one we just had. I don’t want to pressure him, but I miss being physically intimate with someone. It’s not like he’s disgusted by me, but every time he feels my bare dick pressed against any part of his anatomy, he freezes up.”

Eric laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “That sucks, dude.”

“I mean, I _know_ he thought he was over his freak-outs when we started this relationship, but knowing he can’t bear to touch a part of me…”

Link groaned and flipped through television channels furiously as if something would catch his eye and stem the hurt and frustration.

“Back when we were just friends, I didn’t have to worry about an argument being something so final. We didn’t seem to have so much on the line. Now we’re just so tangled up in each other-”

Eric pulled Link to his chest in a comforting hug and shook his head. “Something’ll work out, dude. He loves you.”

“Yeah. But he doesn’t love my dick…”

“I don’t love your dick either, but we’re still good, aren’t we?”

Link rolled his eyes and let out a weak laugh. “I was wondering what Max sees in you. Turns out it really _is_ just your looks.”

———————————————————————————————————

Rhett grasped the dildo in his hands, a sick feeling twisting his guts. He could tell how much he’d hurt Link the last time they’d tried to get intimate, but he’d really thought he was over these stupid thoughts.

_Guys don’t…guys don’t…_

Fuck, maybe he should’ve seen a therapist or something like Gregg suggested, but he didn’t feel comfortable opening up about this particular problem to some stranger. So here he was, holding onto a rigid, peach-colored dildo and trying to get up the nerve to put it in his mouth. Or at least press his lips to it.

Intimacy was important to Link, and damn it, it was important to him to. He want to be skin to skin with Link, sweating, breathing hard, hair brushing against his face and tangling in his beard as they made love.

Rhett squeezed his eyes shut and started moving the dildo toward his face, a squeal building in his throat as he felt it getting closer. But as usual, just before it touched, his eyes popped open and he ended up swinging the object away from him.

“Jesus, Rhett.”

His panicked eyes went to the door and the soft voice. Glossy lips grimaced at him from a disappointed face.

“Link!” Rhett breathed, getting to his feet and moving toward his closest friend. “You didn’t answer my texts and you’ve been gone for two freakin’ days!”

Link sighed, holding up his hands to stop the blonde giant. He shook his head. “I was hanging out with Eric. I just needed some space to wrap my head around this again. It hurts when you react like that to me, Rhett. It makes me question-”

Rhett grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in close. “Don’t change. Don’t change _anything_. This problem is with me. Not you. You’re perfect. Well, not perfect. I really can’t stand the way your jaw clicks sometimes. But-”

Link let out a soft laugh and wrapped his arms around Rhett’s waist. “We’ll work on this together, okay? I won’t just keep storming out.”

“You have a right to-”

“No. We’re in this relationship together, so your problem is my problem. And I would really like to have some sex _soon_ and we’re not going in until we can both get something out of this.”

Rhett sighed. He’s suggested at one point that Link could go down on him, then Link could jack himself off, but Link had rightly smacked him upside the head and refused to speak to him for the next half hour ‘til Rhett got on his knees and apologized.

Link stepped away from Rhett. “Where’d you get that dildo, anyway?”

“I was kinda snooping around your room, hoping you’d have somethin’.”

“Oh god.”

“I found some stuff that made me question your upbringing, dude.”

“If you knew what it was for, then _I’m_ gonna have to question yours too, man.”

Rhett laughed and ran a hand over Link’s dark hair. “I’m sorry I’ve made you feel bad.”

“Want a chance to make up for it?” he asked, his blue eyes crinkling in a smile.

“Umm…”

“You ever thought maybe this’ll be easier if we’re drunk?”

“Hm.”

“Smart aren’t I?”

“I’ll never admit to it,” Rhett said with a grin, taking Link’s hand and leading him downstairs to their very meager liquor cabinet.

They looked at the half bottle of vodka from a recent networking event they’d held at their home and the few bottles of gin and whiskey.

“Do you think some of this stuff is strong enough to put the hairs back on my chest?” Link asked, frowning down at the smooth skin exposed by the deep v of his tank top.

Rhett ran a finger between the pale scraps of fabric and watched a soft flush appear on Link’s cheeks. He hoped to god being drunk would help those stupid voices get out of his head so he could see what Link looked like when all of his skin was on fire with passion.

“How about we crack something open and find out?”

Link smirked in response and grabbed a vodka while Rhett grabbed two of the whiskeys. They were probably gonna find themselves regretting this at some point the next morning.

“Wait,” Link said, holding up his hand before Rhett uncapped one of the bottles. “Let’s make a pact right now.”

“Oh?”

“No anal.”

“What?”

“There are a lot of things that it’s really stupid to do while you’re really drunk and one person isn’t completely sure what they’re doing. And anal is one of those things.” He looked seriously into Rhett’s eyes so he could understand the importance of this request. “Understand?”

Rhett had read up on a few articles outlining how to make anal feel good and the many ways it could go wrong. He didn’t want to hurt Link and he was good at keeping his promises, even while a little fuzzy on alcohol. His word was his bond. He nodded and Link smiled in relief.

“Now let’s find something to take the sting off these drinks.”

———————————————————————————————————————————

Rhett kept laughing as he held onto a giggling Link, peeling him out of his clothes.

“Stay still, babe. This’ll be easier if you stop moving around.”

They’d turned on the music in Link’s room at some point though, so Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy was really giving him the urge to dance. He kept wriggling his hips around, making it hard for Rhett to get his skinny jeans down past his knees.

“Baby~” he whined, Link’s smooth, naked body glistening from working up a sweat making fire shoot through his veins.

Rhett gave up and started undressing himself, humming along to the chorus. But when Boot Scootin’ Boogie started up on the country station, he found himself two-steppin’ right along with his best friend. Both were completely naked, so they kept laughing when they noticed the other’s dick swinging in the steamy air of the room.

“I didn’t know yours was so long,” Rhett said, blinking in surprise as it hardened under his gaze.

Link smirked and ran a hand down his chest. “It’s gonna make switchin’ interestin’ isn’t it?”

“Switching?” Rhett asked, his brows snapping up.

“Hey, we’ve always been a partnership. We go fifty fifty on _everything_. Business, groceries, bottoming, topping,” Link ticked off, his pale pink nail polish glittering.

“Guys don’t-”

“Shut up about what guys do and don’t do. Straight guys like anal play too. At least the ones who’re willing to experience everything sex has to offer.”

Rhett looked at him suspiciously. “Yeah?”

Link wrapped his arms around Rhett’s neck and pulled himself up until they were mouth to mouth. “Oh yeah.”

He slid their lips together and groaned when Rhett’s arms gripped hard around his slender, yet muscular waist.

“ _Mmm,_ ” Link moaned, slipping his tongue into Rhett’s mouth. He couldn’t believe they’d been just friends for so long. Kissing Rhett was so much better than hugging him.

“Jesus, Link,” Rhett gasped, breathing hard, his heart running at a million miles per minute.

“What’re you thinking about right now?” Link asked.

Rhett cupped Link’s soft cheek in the palm of his hand and tilted his chin up, admiring the face he’d watched grow and change from the time they were seven until now. “About how much I love you.”

“Not about my dill pickle?”

Rhett laughed and kissed Link on the nose. “No.”

Link shifted their stance a little until he could feel Rhett’s penis pressed against his stomach, his own hot against Rhett’s hip bone.

“You wanna get horizontal?”

Even through the haze of alcohol, he could see a little bit of worry creep into Rhett’s eyes. He was about to have sex with another man for the first time.

“It’s just bodies, Rhett. Your body against my body. The body of the person that you love under you. Grinding against you.”

“ _Ummmm~_ ” That sounded like something Rhett could get on top of.

Link smiled and started walking backwards toward his bed, bringing Rhett with him.

“Thighs wide open,” he mimicked the words with actions, “for you.”

Rhett stared down at the tan skin of his friend, start against the black cotton of his sheets. Long legs propped up and spread wide. The penis didn’t even register. All he could think about was how good it would feel to be on top of Link, feeling the friction and glide of his smooth, glowing skin.

Rhett groaned and bit his lip, dropping on top of Link a little harder than he intended and causing him to cry out when a gust of air left his lungs.

“Oops.”

Link laughed and shook his head. “I’m glad you want me so bad.”

“I’m glad you came back.”

“I’m glad I did too.”

“I can’t believe I’m touching your dick with my dick.”

“You’re officially a dick toucher.”

“Should we bring that last bottle of whiskey in here and drink every time one of us says dick?”

Link pursed his pinks lips. “I’d rather not. I like the feel of your dick on my dick too much.”

“Yeah. That does feel surprisingly good,” Rhett said, shifting down so he could slide his body against Link’s better. “ _Real_ good.”

“We’re talking an awful lot for two people touchin’ dicks.”

Rhett chuckled. “Can’t help it. Ummm. Alcohol makes me chatty. And Lord knows you never shut up.”

“Don’t mention the Lord. It’s creepy thinkin’ about him peepin’ on us.”

“Ew, Jesus. Now I’m thinkin’ about Cole.”

“Oh god. Now I’m thinkin’ about Cole _and_ Jesus.”

“Feels too good to stop though.”

Link moaned. “Oh. Ohh yeah. Even with Cole and two religious figures lookin’ on.”

“Now I’m thinkin’ of those binoculars I got for my dad’s birthday that I never got around to mailin’.”

“Geez. Do you want your whole family here for this?” Link complained, actually struggling to maintain his erection while thinking about Rhett’s dad, brother, and Jesus.

“Geez, speakin’ of family, I forgot to get your mom something for her birthday. She’s gonna to hate me.”

Link’s erection completely wilted and he sighed while Rhett kept moving on top of him. “I hate you.” He slapped Rhett on the back and rolled the larger man off of him.

Rhett pouted and propped a hand on his bearded chin.

“Maybe next time we try this, we should gag each other,” Link suggested.


	30. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link convinces Rhett to see a sex therapist to see if it will help him where regular therapy didn't.

Link tried not to be disappointed, but it was hard not to be. The closest they’d come in the past few weeks to having sex was when they were both pretty much wasted. Rhett wasn’t embarrassed to show him off, kiss him on their vlogs, or wrap his arm possessively around him at parties or events associated with their company. But he never tried for more. Not anymore anyway. He seemed to have given up on trying to get past his aversion and Link couldn’t say he actually wanted him to try again. There was only so much rejection a person could take.

So he pretended everything was fine when Rhett wrapped his arm around his waist to pull him tight against his chest. But the bitter sadness cloying his throat and stinging his eyes let him know he could only pretend for so long.

___________________________________________________

 “I’m losing him…”

 Rhett squinted at the line of dialogue and chewed on his lower lip.

 “This is getting pretty heavy for a sketch; don’t you think?” He asked Link who’d been to one to bring this script to him. They usually wrote together, but they were doing a new thing where they would each work on an idea to bring to the other in order to explore their singular creativity. So far, they’d made four successful, but very different videos compared to their usual style. Link’s videos tended to be a bit more emotionally charged while Rhett’s were abstract comedies.

“Sometimes people need heavy,” Link said, not looking at him. He pulled some strands of dark hair through his fingers and twirled them absently. “It makes them think about all the things that make life good, you know?”

“And what good is going to come out of this guy losing the love of his life?”

 Link shrugged. “That’s for them to figure out. Every viewer will react to it in a different way.”

 Rhett blew out his breath but decided not to argue. For the past few days, he felt like he’d been on thin ice with Link. Every little thing he did seemed to annoy or disappoint his best friend. Apparently backing down from a potential argument did as well because Link soon left the room in a huff, heels clacking on the linoleum leading into the kitchen.

 Instead of following, Rhett slunk back to their office and closed the door behind him, figuring Link probably wouldn’t be heading up there any time soon. He sank into his desk chair and put his head in his hands, knowing that he couldn’t blame Link for being upset with him. After all, Rhett had been the one to convince Link to begin the relationship. He’d told him he was ready. Promised him. Now he wasn’t following through with that. He knew he left Link wanting nearly every night.

 He was startled when the door snapped open and the sound of Link’s long strides pervaded the room. A well-manicured hand snapped out in front of his face and a business card drifted down on his desk.

 “I love you, but I can’t stay in this weird limbo of friendship and relationship,” Link’s voice said, sounding angry but controlled. There may also have been a note of pleading and desperation underneath. “This is a sex therapist. Maybe they can help you figure out what’s going on with you. I didn’t plan on being platonic with you again for another forty years, Rhett, so this stalemate isn’t really working for me.”

 And with those clipped words, he was gone again.

 Rhett picked up the black card and thumbed it before dialing the number and scheduling an appointment for the next week. He’d apparently taken care of only one part of his issue in the past. He and Link couldn’t go on like they were. They both craved greater physical intimacy than cuddling and makeout sessions could provide. He then spent the rest of that afternoon latched to Link’s side. Giving him as much attention as he could. If this thing with Link fell apart because of him, he didn’t know if he could stand it. And he hated seeing the hurt in Link’s eyes whenever they moved away from intimacy.

 He kissed Link on the side of the head and murmured against his skin, “I should’ve done this sooner. I’m sorry for thinking I could handle it myself.”

 “We’ll just hope this can help,” Link said, pulling his bathrobe tight around himself. Some of his own body issues had reemerged with Rhett’s reaction to his penis. “I don’t want to feel like I’ve forced you to do something you really don’t want to do. I couldn’t have that on my conscious.”

 “And I can’t have my hurting you on _my_ conscious,” Rhett insisted, slinging an arm tight around Link’s waist, his fingertips pressed against his belly button. “God I love you so much and you turn me on.” He pressed his erection against Link’s lower back to show him and a soft sound escaped the smaller man’s throat.

 “Please, Rhett. Don’t tease me until you can do something about it.”

 Rhett grimaced and pulled away. “Sorry.”

 Link shook his head, but didn’t look up at him. “We’ll get this figured out, then you can put that thing anywhere you want.”

 Rhett flushed red but grinned happily. He was looking forward to that day.

 __________________________________________________________

 “How’re things going?” Alison asked, putting down her cup of tea and facing her favorite salon client across the little wooden table on the patio of the café. “I’ve seen you out a lot more than usual?”

Link released a frustrated grunt. “As well as they can. Still no sex, so I’ve been trying to dance it out.” Link was hitting the club nearly every night so that he could exercise the frustrated sexual energy from his body. Plus it helped boost his endorphins and keep his relationship with Rhett pleasant when otherwise he could spark an argument at the drop of a hat, or shoe, or pair of pants if Rhett didn’t keep them out of the hallway like Link asked.

 He grimaced. “I’ll probably meet you at The Zone later tonight. Rhett’s gonna be coming back from an appointment, and I can’t stand the way he looks at me after.”

 He swallowed down a bitter bit of sadness from the way Rhett had turned away from him the last few times. Not even a hug or a kiss. There was a foot of space between them. And he wouldn’t even tell Link why.

 “Oh, honey,” Alison said, resting a hand over his. “Just stick with him. Stand by him. I’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end.”

 Link just shrugged one shoulder and looked away. He told himself that every other day, but he wasn’t really so sure anymore. It hurt a lot to know that while Rhett loved him, he couldn’t get past that one little thing. Well, not so little if he were being honest. 

His own humor brought a little smile to his face and he perked up a bit. “After our appointment, I’m gonna head home to get dressed and tell Rhett that I plan to go to the club.”

 “He won’t be jealous?”

Link rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No. We trust each other. We have to after all these years and running a business together. He know I’d never do anything to hurt that. Our trust is more important than our love which is why I know that even if this relationship doesn’t work out, we should at least be able to still have a friendship afterwards.”

 “You sound like that’s all you have to hope for these days.”

 Link pulled his pink lower lip between his teeth and sighed. “I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He means…he just means so much to me. And I know I mean a lot to him even if he can’t-“ Link shook his head. “No matter how angry I am at him or disappointed, I still love him, and that’s not going to change.”

 Alison nodded grimly and sipped her latte. “Let’s leave all this heavy talk for a spa day. I can’t wait to get my fingers in that glorious hair of yours. Are you looking to get a new style?” 

Link nodded and blushed slightly. “Yeah.”

++____________________________________________________

How was he supposed to think when Link looked like that? 

Rhett stood at the door of Link’s bedroom, his jaw practically on the floor. 

“You, why did…” 

Link smoothed the silky white tank over his firm, slim body and propped a hand on his skin-tight, jean-clad hips. “You like?”

 “Fuck…” he breathed. 

He’d just popped in to tell Link he was home from his session only to find a creature in there he’d never seen before. Link stood there in some black-heeled boots, maroon jeans, and a gleaming white tank and the shortest haircut he’d seen on Link since he was about fifteen. It was trimmed practically to the scalp on the sides while a long swaft of it remained intact on the top of his head, draping artfully over one lined, blue eye. Fuck he was hotter than the sun and more androgynous than ever. With the long hair, some days he was all woman. With his hair like this, he was a confusing blend of strength and grace, masculine and feminine that made Rhett’s heart pound. The long silver chain at Link’s neck beckoned Rhett to grab it and pull his friend until they were chest o chest. And for the first time he thought, _groin to groin._

 Link started to fiddle nervously with the ends of his hair, the light gel keeping it in place and scenting the air.

 “You don’t like it…” 

Unable to help himself, Rhett moved across the room and wrapped large hands around Link’s hips, pressing the full length of their bodies together. He bent down until he could press his lips against Link’s firm, slightly glossed ones. 

Link moaned and bowed his back to get more contact, making Rhett growl low in his throat.

 “Jesus, Link,” he rasped. He covered one of Link’s firm cheeks with his hand and raised him slightly off the floor until he had to stand on his tip toes. He pulled his head back so he could take in Link’s altered appearance again and his knees went weak. Those blue eyes were glazed with lust. His pouty lips were plumped with the bruising force of Rhett’s kiss. His cheeks were flushed an attractive pink and his obvious arousal rested against Rhett’s. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that loon on your face before,” Link said in amazement, staring up at his friend. “You’re looking at me like you’re seeing me for the first time or something.” 

“You look like some kind of mysterious goddess,” Rhett said. “Too beautiful to be held down by a gender. Fuck, touch therapy has nothing on you like this, Link.”

 “What?” 

“I’ve been so caught up on your gender, even after I told you that I saw you as a woman or an angel, or that I accepted who you were that I didn’t just look at you. I didn’t just see you.” He raised his other hand until he could press it against Link’s face, cupping his smooth jaw in his palm. “Just you as you are. As the person I’ve been in love with for so freakin’ long.” 

Link grinned, his eyes shining. “What’s touch therapy.” 

Rhett blushed and looked down. “You know…what I was doing with that dildo…only with a real person to get over my personal shame in it.” 

Link looked angry for a short while then shook his head in exasperation. “Is that why you haven’t been touching me? You felt like you were being unfaithful or something?” 

The flush rose in the tall man’s cheeks and Link giggled happily. 

“I freakin’ love you, freak show.” 

Rhett tilted his head down and buried it in the crook of Link’s neck. “I love you too.” 

He shifted his hand from Link’s ass to the front of his pants and slowly begin to work open the button.

 “Um…what are you doing.” 

“I’m gettin’ my hand in there before I lose my nerve.” 

“Oh…o-oh,” Link moaned when Rhett managed to undo the button, pull his zipper down, then press his large, hot palm against the flimsy purple thongs holding Link’s package in place. 

Rhet’s beard scraped against Link’s smooth, tan skin as he pressed himself closer, tracing Link’s ample dick. 

“It’s just a pleasure center,” he whispered to himself. 

Link giggled at the term Rhett had probably picked up from sex therapy, but it ended in a gasp when Rhett roughly pushed his underwear to the side to free his aching member. 

“Jesus! Are you sure?! Cause you better be. If we stop now, Rhett, I’m going to kill you where you stand, I freakin’ promise.” 

“Would you kill me where I kneel?” 

Link gaped when Rhett lowered himself to the floor, resting back on his heels as he looked up at his beautiful best friend. Partner. He slid a hand up Link’s slender thigh. Lover.”

 “Oh god. Oh god…” Link whispered hastily as Rhett tilted forward, eyes squeezed tightly shut, tongue jutting forward, searching, searching.

 Link took himself in hand and aimed the tip of his dick toward Rhett’s seeking tongue. They both jolted when they made contact until Link settled a hand on Rhett’s head to hold him in place while he guided the tip of his penis along Rhett’s tongue.

 “ _Rhett_ ,” he pleaded. “ _Rheeet._ ”

 Rhett popped open his mouth and Link slowly slipped himself inside.

“Is that okay? Is that okay?” He asked breathlessly. He didn’t want to scare Rhett off, but god, he _needed_.

 Rhett nodded and cautiously explored the underside of his penis with his tongue, then pulled his head back, then forward.

 He heard Link moan and something tight released inside of him. He let out a breath of relief and grabbed Link’s hips in both hands, going at his task in earnest. Nonsense words tumbled off of Link’s lips and Rhett knew he had to open his eyes to see what he was doing to his lover.

 His cock twitched in his pants when he became tuned in to the rosy flush spreading across Link’s chest. His own hands had left Rhett’s head and instead were teasing at his nipples. His head was flung backward, white tank completely askew and hanging from his long neck.

 He pulled off of Link’s dick and got to his feet, peeling his clothes away faster than he’d ever done before. He hurried Link out of his own and dragged him toward the bed.

“After tonight, Link, this isn’t your room anymore, yeah?”

 Link giggled playfully.

 “Oh?” He asked, reaching into his nightstand and pulling out some condoms and a bottle of lube he kept on hand for frustrated nights and an aching cock. “Then what exactly will this be?”

 Rhett rolled his eyes and pressed himself on top of his best friend, smoothing his hair back from that beautiful, beautiful face. “The fuck if I know. Not really up for talking about home decoratin’, baby.”

 “Really, now?”

Rhett pressed his lips to Link to keep him from talking, big mouth that he was, and reached around blindly for the lube.

 “Are we doing anal tonight…or…”

 Link huffed. “Way to ruin the spontaneous lust fest. How about we just make a list of everything we want to do tonight and check it off as we go?”

 “Well, I don’t have any experience with that so…”

 “You want me to do you first?”

 Rhett’s eyes widened when he noticed that Link was serious. “B-but you’re the woman…the bottom…you-“

 “You want to keep putting your foot in your mouth or would you rather I put my dick in your ass?”

 “No one would think you were the nice kid I grew up with when you talk like that, angel.”

 Link gave one of his half sweet, half cocky smiles. “If I do you first, you’ll know what to expect in making me feel good, babe.”

 Rhett chewed on his glistening bottom lip and scratched worriedly at his beard. “Jesus, the things you can talk me into.”

 He sighed, his breath shuddering nervously from his lungs as he pulled himself off of Link’s warm body, scooched over and propped himself on his elbows and knees.

 He felt Link’s hand smooth over his wide back.

 “You know this can be done face to face right, if we’re careful…” 

Rhett shook his head. “I don’t really think I can take seeing your fingers playing around with me without coming before this whole thing even starts so… Plus, I’m nervous and I read this is best for beginners…and we’re beginner-“ His words cut off when a hot, slick finger started trailing down his crack. He was surprised by how sensitive the skin was there and immediately began to imagine how it would feel if he did this to Link. 

“Oh-oh man. Wow.” 

The finger started circling his hole and wet kisses pressed in random, tantalizing places across his back.

 “I love your freckles,” Link said, a grin in his voice.

 “I love you, Link,” Rhett said, bending further forward to give Link better access, his bearded cheek pressing against his forearms. “I’m sorry we had to wait so long for this. I’m sorry I-“

 “Sh,” Link said gently, licking down his spine while pressing his finger into Rhett’s hole.

 Rhett moaned at the odd, dual sensations and gave himself up to Link’s care. Pushing his hips back to help Link breach him, then spread him as he added more fingers. Whimpering when the pad of Link’s finger skimmed across that special place, his cock roaring back to life and dribbling cum onto Link’s sheets.

 “You’re gonna feel so good when I do this to you, Link. So good. Gonna put my big fingers inside of you.”

 Link groaned, slid on a condom and settled himself against Rhett’s gleaming entrance.

 “Marry me!” Rhett gasped when the head of Link’s cock popped inside of him.

 Link chuckled softly and continued to press forward.

 “I’m serious. Ah, fuck. Aaaah. Marry me. Be my wife. My whatever. Mine. My Link. Marry me? Ugggh. Ahhh!” He could barely think as Link thrust into him, over and over again, his long, slender cock brushing against his prostate over and over. Link’s hot hand, slick with lube, wrapped around his penis. That toned, slender body draped itself over his back and he could feel the long strands of Link’s hair mingling with his own.

 “Answer be dammit!” he rasped as they both came closer to cumming.

 Link laughed and thrust hard into him, his hips jerking as orgasm finally hit when Rhett’s hole clamped around his dick. “I’ll answer you when you’re balls deep in me about an hour from now, huh?” he giggled, slipping out of Rhett’s grasping hole and peeling off the condom to tie it off and toss it in the trash. He sank down next to his friend and splayed himself across his soft chest when Rhett finally gathered the energy to roll over, avoiding the mess he’d made on Link’s sheets.

 Rhett pressed his lips against Link’s warm cheeks, admiring the beautiful person he’d gotten to know throughout his life, who’d completely thrown him off his game since the first day they met, who constantly made him want to live his life to the fullest. And who really, _really,_ made his cock weep with desire.

 “I think you’ll be giving me that answer in about ten minutes, baby,” he said, pressing Link’s hand against his swelling cock.

 Link let out a breathless little sound that was half laugh, half moan. He spread himself like a starfish on the bed, lifting up his knees. “You’re gonna have to take me like this, cause I’m too tired to move. Don’t expect too much work outta me, babe.”

 Rhett chuffed in exasperation. “Some days I _really_ wonder why I’m in love with you.”

 Link looked at him from one dark-ringed, blue eye and flicked out his tongue suggestively. “You know why.”

 With a long-suffering sigh, Rhett lubed up his fingers and settled himself between Link’s legs.

 “The answer is yes, by the way.”

Rhett smirked and got down to business.


	31. Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link goes home, leaving a worried Rhett at the office.

 

Rhett kept his head down for most of the day at work so their employees wouldn’t see the grin wreathing his face, but sometimes he swore he could hear the smirk in their voices. It was impossible for them not to know what he and Link had done the night before. They couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other, brushing skin for no reason, standing much too close.

He practically giggled at the memory of taking Link again that morning, hiking his pencil skirt up around his waist. He’d been wearing a pair of black, lace panties underneath hat Rhett just had to pull down with his teeth, then slowly lick his way back up Link’s long, smooth, tan legs. He could never get enough of Link’s legs.

“Rhett!”

By the way the voice sounded, he knew it wasn’t the first time Mike had tried to get his attention.

Rhett compressed his lips and banished the sensual memory for later in the day when he and Link would be alone in the office.

“What you need, man?” Rhett asked, propping his hands on his hips.

“Link told me to tell you he was leaving early.”

“What?!” Rhett’s relaxed posture disappeared into something much more rigid and alert. “Is Link okay? Headache?”

Mike shrugged. He was in a bit of a hurry so he didn’t really have time to analyze his brief exchange with his dark-haired boss. “He seemed fine to me. He was smiling a bit like a psycho though.”

Rhett glanced down at his watch then looked up at Mike who was grinning and shaking his head.

“We’ve recorded everything we need for today and already have the schedule set for the next couple of days. We won’t burn down the building just because you guys leave two hours early.”

“Heh.” Rhett smacked him on the shoulder and pulled his keys from his pocket, figuring Link must’ve taken a taxi or the bus since he didn’t wait for him. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. And keep Alex out of the snacks. We’ve had to restock twice as often since we hired him.”

Mike rolled his eyes and sighed, but nodded.

Rhett sped home a little more recklessly than usual but managed to managed to make it home in one piece, then scolded himself for driving like a madman. Link would kill him if he got himself into an accident.

He burst through the front door without preamble because he just wasn’t used to Link heading home without telling him first or asking him to come back with him. He was in such a hurry that he didn’t see the flower petals scattered at the entrance and ended up slipping, his leg pulling so far away from him and jerking to a stop that he felt he had a tear in his groin.

“What the hell?!” He shouted, catching himself.

He heard a startled gasp, then the sound of heels clicking across the floor. He looked up from his bent and painful position to find the person of his fantasies speed-walking toward him.

“You- you’re trying to kill me,” Rhett gasped, taking in the sparkling gold dress caressing Link’s firm body and the red-tipped, black heels presenting his calves to perfection.

“Are you okay?”

“You left work early, shouldn’t I be asking _you_ that question?”

Link just shook his head, smoothing his already perfect hair.

“I just wanted to get everything set up for later. Why didn’t you just call me to ask if I was fine?” Link asked with a grin, taking Rhett’s arm and leading him into the living room so he could sit and wriggle around to investigate the state of his groin muscle.

“Well, if you would’ve just told me you wanted to leave early-“

“Then you would’ve followed me back and I wouldn’t have time to set up the surprise.” Link leaned back against the armrest and crossed his long legs. “Like it?”

Rhett whimpered and grimaced. “I would’ve liked it a lot more if I was sure my legs were functioning enough to do something about it. I’ve been thinkin’ about you all day!”

Link’s blue eyes squinted up into a smile and he reached for Rhett’s hand, placing it against his own knee and sliding it up until it reached the hemline of his dress. “There’s a lot we can do without you moving a single muscle.”

“Have I told you I love you?” Rhett asked, sounding like a desert wanderer who’d just discovered an oasis.

“Yes. But a million more times won’t hurt.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss against his lover’s lips, grazing a bit to feel the brush of beard against his own smooth cheeks. “There’s something else you can give me too, babe.”

Rhett dipped his fingers beneath Link’s dress, feeling something cool and smooth like silk. He bit his glistening lower lip and struggled to focus on the conversation. “Yeah?”

Link held out his well-manicured hand and wiggled his fingers. “My hand feels a little naked, ya know? You have any idea how much Alison showed off when she got engaged? Or Jeremy! And don’t get me started on Daniella. I won’t something on my finger that’ll make all those girls know that they’ve got nothing on what we’ve got.”

“So, you asking for a rock the size of Texas?” Rhett asked in surprise. He’d never thought Link was one for flashy jewelry since he kept his fashion on the warm side of classy. The most he did were a few bright accent pieces. Maybe he would just use the ring as his accent piece from now on.

“No. I’m asking for something noticeable enough to make everyone know that I’m engaged so I can brag about you the minute their eyes hit it.” Link laid a hand on his chest, stars in his eyes. “Their gonna be so jealous of our love story. I mean, I’ve got anecdotes all the way from first grade! Who else can say that about their future husband. Link didn’t even notice when Rhett’s hand withdrew from his dress and just wrapped around him instead, pulling him close and laying a gentle kiss on the side of his head while Rhett just watched his face with a warm smile.

He hated that it had taken them so long to be where they were now, but he knew that if they didn’t have the past, then their current relationship wouldn’t be as strong. Strong enough to withstand the blowback from their family as soon as they let them know they were serious enough to want to get married. Some of their relatives could let dating go, but marriage would be a whole different step.

Rhett pulled Link even closer, holding him with all his might and promising himself he would never let Link go. Would do his best to make him smile every day for the rest of their lives. Or make Link cry with happiness, that would be good too.

He chuckled to himself as he listened to Link ramble on and on, felt a slight twinge of panic when Link brought up babies, but pulled himself together.

He reached into his pocket and lifted his closed hand before Link’s face. He parted his fingers, a velvet box opening between them.

“Link?”

Link’s jaw dropped mid-word.

“I picked this up this morning when I went on a coffee run.”

“You took forever! I thought you were constipated or something.”

Rhett grimaced. “I’m trying to be romantic here. You already try to break my leg with _your_ romance, let me have a go, hum?”

Link covered his mouth to stop his words and blinked glistening eyes up at the best friend and partner who’d been with him through some of his hardest times and vice versa.

“I was really hoping you weren’t looking for a Dolly Pardon size ring, cause this is what I have and this is what you’re going to get. That is…if you’re going to accept it, baby?”

He asked, looking surprisingly timid for his 6’7” frame.

Link looked at the simple gold band with two small stones pressed into it, an infinity pattern etched around it and looping along the entire band. “This will go with so many outfits.”

Rhett shook his head and laughed as he plucked the ring from the box and slid it onto Link’s finger with shaking hands.

“Let’s wait another year or two before we talk about babies, huh?” Rhett asked in a pleading tone.

Link smirked and reached behind himself to grab a long tassel attached to the zipper of his dress. “I wasn’t really looking forward to those kind of sleepless night so soon anyway.”

##  **Fin**


End file.
